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Date: October 5, 2022
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I'm sorry for OP's loss, but I don't blame her ex for not wanting to be her emotional support animal.
I'm in basically the same situation. We have 3 kids (3,5 and, 12) Our sex life is basically gone and we fight more then we don't about parenting or the kids. Our youngest is autistic super high on the spectrum and fucks the whole house up the moment we fall asleep. We have no help from anyone, we've been married 8 years. Since he was born we had to work sperate shifts just to stay afloat and to be able to not have to pay for childcare. I'm lucky if I sleep 4 hours a day since I work nights. He will be up for 12 straight hours then crash for like 3 hours then go tear up the house for 5 hours then rinse repeat. Sometimes she deals with him and many times I do since we sleep different schedules. We have almost called our marriage over at least 5 times since he was born. We are relocating to tx so my mother could chip in and help us since everyone here basically decided they didn't want to help once they met him. All I can say is communicate to each other and hopefully you can come up with some kind of plan. We hope to both have a same shift job once we move so we can spend more time with each other and have the help we desperately need. If this doesn't work for us we might actually pull the plug on the relationship. We did take a one month break and it was nice to have that separation from the kids. I had them 3 days she had them four and her family actually decided they wanted to help her but only when we split so it kinda strained my relationship with them. My son ended up pissing on her dad's work computer so they ended up kicking her out after slandering my son saying things like fucking retard etc. Good luck it's not easy.
So ok, some questions, are you physically attracted to him? Are you romantically attracted to him?
I’m really sorry. The lack of response in these circumstances is an answer in itself. It’s very sad when friendships go awry, and you weren’t wrong to express yourself.
If your friend has chosen not to respond at all, you will probably never know exactly how or why things devolved.
As much as it stings, anyone has the right to stop being friends with another person at any time. It helps if they’re kind or classy or honest about it, but there’s never a guarantee and there’s not always a tidy ending.
In your place I wouldn’t send another message. Your friend might reply at some point. It’s not likely probably as the weeks go by, but it’s not impossible. The more often you send her messages now, the bigger her sense of awkwardness, stubbornness or resentment might grow.
I can tell you from personal experience that the most powerful thing you can do now is act with dignity, and let your friend go. Try to accept that she has made a series of choices she’s not going to explain to you. It really hurts, and it helps to look back and see that you kept your own dignity intact and didn’t try to cling to a friend who decided to ditch you.
I suggest you leave an avenue of contact open to your friend. Don’t block her phone number or emails just yet. Don’t use them, and try not to go searching your phone for messages or answers. But just let things drift for a while.
Somewhere down the track I imagine you will decide enough is enough, and you will be able to block her number and social media accounts. But if you can trust yourself not to go looking at her accounts and rubbing salt in the wound, just wait a while for that.
I know this sounds incredibly bleak. It is bleak. In my experience people who decide to break off friendships like this aren’t the sort to offer answers. If you go chasing after them and getting nowhere, you end up feeling like you’re about eight years old and a bloody menace. And you deserve better than that.
Take care.
Just be straight with him. “I want to talk to you about something that has been bothering me lately. I'm feeling really disconnected and a bit unappreciated.” And then you basically need to tell him the kinds of things that you have been hoping for.
Many people like the love languages system. You could ask him to take the quiz and then the two of you can come up with some ideas that for with each other's love languages.