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Date: October 29, 2022
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I feel like this is from a 12 or 13 year old..
It's one thing to goose somebody, but straight up slap their breasts? Hell no, this guy is a creep.
Did you read OPs comments above? OP herself said “I cannot be with someone who does x” when one major subject of husbands therapy is that he does x. If therapist is not her therapist, how on earth is therapist supposed to know what OP is thinking? She offered both to help them work through it or to amicably dissolve their relationship, without implying a personal preference. Often people can start with one and end up taking the other route. Therapist was just…laying out the options. It sounds like it was useful for clarifying what both of them want. Is she not allowed to ask? Especially when their relationship is a major talking point in therapy?
I imagine if OP had said “oh yeah I think of divorcing sometimes because it drives me bonkers”, the therapist would absolutely need to know. I’m sure the therapist has 50 stories of people who just avoid the issue unless she makes it explicit. In fact, making hidden patterns and thoughts/feelings explicit IS PART OF HER JOB. If two people could figure it out themselves, they wouldn’t need her. So yeah, it’s not what they want in that particular instance but if part of therapy is examining maladaptive coping and relational strategies, it’s kindof counterproductive to blow a gasket and question the entire enterprise anytime someone possibly suggests something that’s uncomfortable.
She broached the subject respectfully in direct response to something OP said that would lead any reasonable person to think “hm, there’s a conflict here maybe I should clarify” and then never brought it up again. THE HORROR.
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Yes, I get entirely what you're saying, I guess I got a little carried away with all of this.
It's stupid really. Sometimes I get a bit too obsessed with some things that I can't see the bigger picture.
No. But instead of being turned on at the idea of seeing his wife turned on for the first time in his life, he wanted to leave immediately. He set up the situation. I promise you he is a selfish lover.
He makes such judgements because he's decided Sean is into you.
Yeah, the cons are much more serious/dealbreakery than the pros are to me.
This is a good way to put it. Thank you for your insight
Block her sister too ?
She sounds spoilt and selfish. Seems like she always got her way in life. You are her cash cow, landlord and spern donor right now. If you break it if now she'll probably be more heartbroken about losing her lifestyle rather than losing you
It sounds like neither of you are meant for LDR. Both of your anxieties, codependency and past traumas make LDR impossible.