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Peach, 19 y.o.
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Date: October 30, 2022
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No doubt she’ll graduate suma cum laude now.
That’s not good, how are you this disconnected from reality and other peoples emotions? If you’d like to be treated like that then fine, but don’t do that to others. It’s wrong
Seriously!! All these comments about it “only being a matter of time before she finds someone else and wants to be open” like what??? Fully demonizing someone based on a lifestyle they would potentially be willing to try out, only revealed because he asked her.. unhinged lol
Go talk to a lawyer about getting a cease and desist letter sent to him and his family, and talk about getting a restraining order.
Make sure everyone from his family and any bystanders who see their social media posts understands clearly that the ring is not their property, it’s your and your family’s property, and they are attempting to coerce you into giving up property that is not legally theirs. This was not the traditional “conditional gift” situation.
They are the gold diggers here, they are attempting to steal from you. Tell them to fuck off and do not cave!!
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I'd be hiring a P.I. Sorry, but if there isn't cheating yet, there will be shortly. Ask her if keeping this “friend” is worth the end of your marriage. Wife needs to be snapped out of it.
Also your wife knows this makes you uncomfortable and she doesn't care.
Don't make any decisions now, under emotional distress. If he wants to come to you, decide if you are ready. Until then, don't do anything until you have had the chance to analyze and get your head straight. These are about your emotions and wellbeing. Not his.
Ex boyfriend, should be your ex.
Then start figuring out how to become more independent, talk to support groups, talk to local resources, talk to pro-bono lawyers.
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A few things: I agreed about what others said about her looks, and made comments of my own when she was brought up About how I thought she looked “hot,” “sexy,” “X would be good in bed.” I’m disgusted with myself because even if I felt this way, better kept to myself and not stooping to my so called “friends” level. I’m disgusted with myself
There's literally nothing wrong with helping people when you can. You could, you did, you were successful. Yes, you're taking a slight personal risk, but you also seem to have a basic awareness of how bullies function. You knew this guy was not prepared to publicly escalate, you intervened, it worked. You did a good thing.
It will never get better. Trust me.
Just be better than me! I knew like 30 seconds after I got married that I had made a mistake and I still stuck it out for almost 5 (painful) years. You are allowed to make whatever decision you want about him (you don’t need his agreement to break up) and you’re also allowed to take your time and figure out whether this is salvageable or not. Do this on YOUR timeline and focus on what is best for YOU. I might be projecting but you seem like the type of person who wants to make people happy even if it’s at their own expense and like my therapist said – if they wouldn’t do the same for you why how can they expect you to do it for them?
women do this same shit. my ex always said she hates men except me. it gets exhausting after a while.
Awwww!!!!!! how sweet of you
I saw your reply to the other comment. It's not right that he sees you one or two times a week and wastes time scrolling. My GF and I have about the same amount of time and we are NEVER looking at screens
It is entirely possible that he is just being very insecure, and you have given him no reason to distrust you. And, that the rest of the advice you are getting here is on point — head for the exit now, because it’s likely just going to get worse.
On the other hand, it is also entirely possible that he’s picking up on something— the way you talk about your guy friend, the things you talk to your guy friend about, non-verbal cues that you might not even be aware that you are giving off, etc. that is setting off his red flag alert.
The bottom line is that he feels threatened by your relationship with this other guy. You are going to have to deal with that. Lose the boyfriend, lose the guy friend, or figure out a way to set your boyfriend’s mind at ease.
Because she thought she was enough for him, till death do they part, that’s the contract they agreed to. To hear your partner doesn’t feel that way, that would be damaging, and you can’t unring that bell.
I would see this as a red flag, personally.
What he’s showing you doesn’t sound protective. His comment about “sharing”, to me, would come across as potentially leading to controlling and jealous behaviours.
It’s also not normal that his first question is about people’s genders when you’re hanging out with friends.
She doesn't have to be out for you to just… not have sex with her.
So he CAN.. he's just a lazy ass.
Go look in r/DeadBedrooms.
Work with her to fix this or bail before the wedding.
It’s only 5 years, not an investment to stay. You’re so young, enjoy your life.
Just ask him if he wants the relationship to end, because if he keeps pushing for him to help her, you will walk. If she is that important to just let you know because you aren't willing to accept being 2nd to her and just let them do whatever. The codependency between them is thick, and you will get pushed aside so he can save her if you don't put your foot down. This is a hill to die on, you or her. Good luck.
Men don't cheat on women they love.
Source: Man who cheated on plenty of women he didn't love but is with one now that he does and there's zero temptation or want to cheat.
End this relationship and be better in future.
Sure she can want to stay together, but the trust is broken. She'll always remember that you cheated and it will likely be used against you a lot in the future. On top of that, you've gotten away with it once, and like an addict you'll try to get away with it again. (Source: been there, done that).
Age is just a number
I would say this Sounds like she might have MH issues but for the MIL being in on it.