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The trust is broken, and sadly that’s a really naked thing to rebuild. It takes time and even then maybe it will never come back for you. Therapy is your best bet with answering those questions. I would just caution you to think of how a lukewarm relationship may effect your child. Sometimes trying to avoid repeating those traumas inflicted upon us just creates different trauma. If you find that in your heart you can not forgive this man, then don’t hang around and let that relationship be the role model which your son bases all of his relationships.