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staceyjohnson chat
Date: November 1, 2022
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staceyjohnson chat
My parents are indigenous I think we have very little Spanish blood. But regardless, I don’t identify as Spanish, I identify as Mexican/Honduran.
I apologize for putting massive, I have no idea how big his ego is. It’s perfectly possible and probable it’s actually just fine. That was some male manipulation on my end. Playful banter to your host
I wouldn’t necessarily say lazy. The no cooking thing is entirely understandable but you really should be making more of an effort in your studies. Can you at least access your lectures on-line? From the sounds of it she at the very least would be accurate in calling you a slacker. Ultimately I think your sister is just worried about making sure you get a good life and is probably being a bit overbearing without knowing it. But she’s right to call you out for skipping lectures in favour of sleep. You should try and get into a routine where you have time to prepare for and attend lectures whilst still having enough time for sleep and the rest of your life 🙂
The only hope is if she starts talking more about her needs and feelings.
Humans just don’t have a social media etiquette get because the internet is so new. Eventually, it will be something to discuss before doing so, because of how many people feel hurt by it.
Or he covered her mouth to keep things quit so no one heard…
You are incompatible. You have different goals and ambitions.
You need to tell your husband and for the his and your child’s sake, hopefully he dumps your ass to give the kid a fighting chance.
Those are hormones talking not her. Go back and be there for her and dont even think that this break up was real. She is pregnant and shouldn’t worry abt such things that will affect baby so dont listen to whatever she says during pregnancy
He needs therapy.
Do not wait around. He’s stalling. He can keep extending it for years. It happens all the time. And the longer you’re with him, the harder it will be to end it. I’d start by moving out – you can still be together, but just slowly start to separate your life from his. It’s very reasonable to not want to love with a partner unless you’re engaged.
Yea it’s hard… When you said I guarantee it- you mean you guarantee he’s not coming back
My ex boyfriend said move to marry and move to canada . I didn’t want to as I can’t work there as my professional license is not valid there. I could not give up what he wanted so I broke up. When I did – I slept like a baby after many months of crying,sleepless nights and anxiety of moving – leaving all my family friends and my career behind. Found someone how accepts me now and both of us supporting each other emotionally and career wise .
A lot of it comes down to finances and feeling like I don’t deserve better. But yes I agree with you
You are both still kids. Wait five years, find yourself and then try again.
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You two may be incompatible. Let’s say everyone has a need for emotional closeness on a scale from 0 to 10. You are a 3, she is a 10. You will exhaust yourself trying to give her 10.she won’t feel fulfilled unless she gets level 10 energy. You need level 7 space, she will feel hurt and unconnected if she has to give you level 7 space and only level 3 connection. Neither of you is wrong for your own personal needs. You just might not be a good fit together.
The double standards are an issue. I'd call that out too and explain that HE'D feel uncomfortable if you did this with men, so why is it fine on his end?
They are an AH, and it’s all in the bit where they say they don’t work out, they only eat junk food and they’re still thin. Cos their metabolism is doing all the work for them. Wonder if they’ll hold onto their fat phobia so tightly when their metabolism eventually slows down and all that junk food and lack of exercise catches up with them…
Why tf are you even going with him at night? I refuse to leave my house after 10. Your bf is a jerk
She is not to be trusted. Thanks someone else says she conspired with a friend to keep her cheating away from you. That shows you exactly what her personality is and then for her to blame you about throwing away what you had beautiful and she’s the one that destroyed what you had a beauty. She destroyed it by cheating on you and then withholding it from you for three years. How could you ever trust her to help yourself need to cut all ties with her so you can go make yourself healthy you’re young enough you’ll be able to overcome this and move on.
So grounds for instant break up in your post alone:
— “My BF forced me to” do X, where X is pretty much anything other than them physically stopping something that's about to maim or kill you.
— Calling you pathetic.
— Gets annoyed you want to skip an activity where you're actively harassed and in fear
He's a disgusting human being, and you need to set him on the curb with the other trash.
You are playing games and he probably wasn't with his parents. Send him a text that wishes him well and hope his future is bright.
Is that going to insult her?
those people never do seem to actually go through with it, do they? I'm including OP's ex here – still alive. I wonder how truly very hot he tried to commit, or if this really was all an attention grab.
Leave her.
She’s an idiot, and actually believes that her worth, and the worth of her relationship is down to how many people you have been with, now whether that is due to religious belief, societal pressures or something else, she’s still an idiot.
If you want to hammer home how stupid she is, tell her that if she feels dirty now, how is she and her next partner going to feel, knowing that she has had other people inside her, and one of them was you. Tell her that there’s not enough soap to get rid of that, then laugh as you walk away.
I am just reading OP’s responses and some comments are very contradictory.
This is not gaslighting, but not something that should happen in a normal, respectful relationship either.
And yeah, age diff hits again.
Yeah you cheated, everything else you mentioned just means that those things were more important than the boundaries of the relationship. And saying that you were unable to ask for permission means that you view yourself as irresponsible and if you can't be trust then what's the point?
Make a discord group and invite them all except for him.
Hangout with them without him.
Basically just do the same and exclude him? Why let him decide whether you can interact with them or not?
Correct! Be open, kind and polite.
Or he's already checked out of the relationship and is waiting for OP to do the nude bit.
Appreciate the clarification definitely sounds like it's on her end. Some things could help her morning mood like better sleep hygiene, trying to get in more exercise and fresh air to sleep better- but I do stress that none of these are your responsibility. Not being a morning person is no excuse to abuse a partner
Keep it for the next girl. This isn’t rocket science.
“We met all together at the park he was playing guitar” – Ah yes, busking…The profession of choice for people in their 30s who have their life shit together.
“my only standard for a relationship is compatibility”- No, you have a kid to look after. Your standard should be only introducing a guy into your home and child's life after the relatonship has matured and he has shown himself to be a trustworthy, responsible, mentally healthy, dependable and non-predatory person. It is very inappropriate to have let this guy move in so early and he clearly doesn't have his life act together (despite his age).
Save yourself the future pain and get a divorce, if I were a gambler, I'd bet on it turning physical in the near future.
Internet mom here. I just came to validate your feelings. You are absolutely right in what you are saying. You’re already planning to go to therapy and that would have been my suggestion. You will find an advocate in any good therapist. It’s going to be okay. Get to therapy. I really do just want to validate everything you have said.
“Just leave then” she already told you the answer to your question. You don’t need to ask us.
OP, you are being petty. You need to have a conversation with her about why she is uncomfortable with you being breast fed…. she might not want to associate anything sexual with child rearing, but the main thing is to have a talk with her,
“You won't, so I wont.” Is damn childish and you are almost 30, get it together.
Again you can can’t seem to explain why you get to decide what can and can’t be posted here
I was also together with a predator who “tried” to “get better”. Spoiler: he didn’t.
We were together for seven years. Looking back at that time, I know why I didn’t leave earlier, but it sucks.
Especially if he hasn’t realized that what he did was wrong, there’s no hope. Absolutely no hope. You being with him or not being with him won’t make a difference.
Me being with my ex have him a “cover” or a way to justify himself – and other women thought he was safer than he was.
My advice would be: make a plan to leave. First in secret. Only tell him when you’re actually ready to go and have all your precious things in a safe place.
Good luck!
Really? Sounds pretty fake.
So I might have to drop the relationship then?
He threatened to kill himself as a test of loyalty or whatever? He put you in such emotional distress to see if you care? Yeah, fuck him. Dump his ass, girl.
Girl, read what you wrote but imagine you are us….
What would you say???
Speak to a divorce attorney to find out your options.
Friendzoning is definitely an option.
You do not (and really should not) have to join her in her confusion.
Ignore it and move on.
Well yeah, having the status “exclusive” is a way smaller deal. That's just saying “I won't fuck other people”. Introducing you to and spending 5 DAYS(!!!!!!) with her child is a massive massive deal. It's completely inappropriate for the stage of your relationship. You shouldn't go on that trip at all, regardless of the status thing and you should tell her it's way too early to meet her kid.
She probably thought you were seeing other people too. Since you were on a break.
Definitely. I swear, the minute I stopped begging my husband for attention, he started begging for mine. It's like they forget you exist until they realize you don't actually need them.
If you did porn and omitted the truth to her I’m sure she’d be wrecked, her not wanting to communicate with you is messed up. Idk honestly this would prob be a deal breaker for me, those videos will be on the internet forever and she’s like don’t judge me. Well that’s a pretty big part of character to want to try porn. Trust your guy op, what your feeling is not wrong
This is a difficult one because it might be nude to blame him. You absolutely did nothing wrong and are entitled to be very upset because this is a him problem. But….. insecurity is an absolute bitch and it doesn't take prisoners so you just react and this sort of thing is the result. For the longer term, you are gonna have to work with him to establish what is and isn't acceptable but you need to be aware that this will likely lead you to question continuing the relationship if he can't learn and loosen up a bit. A session with a counsellor might help him.
How would she feel like you’re small if shes only been with you lol
1 inch for every year youve been together.
Do you really want to make things right? I mean. You got her an awesome gift. And then because you dislike her interests, she starts tagging on yours?
You’re 18. You can either try to work through the immaturity. Or you can find someone who doesn’t dis your interests because they differ from yours.
Yeah I also agree that isn't a boundary..and definetly controlling. When I bring it up again, if says he is breaking up with me again then I will just say okay that's your choice. And leave.
Since she found nothing then you have a perfect one sided argument. If she found something suspicious then that would have justified (in her mind) her decision to snoop, but she didnt.
And so you have the perfect case against her, you have the right to be angry and she has no excuse for what she did.
I would go with this:
– “your snooping shows that you dont trust me, what have I ever done before this that would lead you to snoop through my phone ? clearly you can trust me so what does that say about you ? what kind of relationship do we have if we dont have trust ? “
– “despite having foun nothing and then us talking about this, if you snoop on my phone in the future then that means you are a suspicious person who cant trust, I would not want to be in a relationship with someone incapable of trust.”
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