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it sounds like hes having an emotional affair
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I think you’re poorly matched, because you want a level of involvement with your relationship that he doesn’t. That doesn’t make either of you bad, or wrong, but it makes you wrong for each other. I think you should find friends to fulfill those needs. I also think you should break up with your boyfriend, so you two can find partners that want the same things as you. Maybe one of your new friends will be that partner. But it’s not your boyfriend.
ED doesn't necessarily have anything to do with issues related to your sex life. You could be amazing in bed and he'd still have it, assuming it was medically caused. If he is taking the medication, he may just need them to be functional, and not want to be telling you about it.
Thank you and I am really appreciative to have the advice of a smoker!