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i will ride my dildo so bad until i put all my cum on my bed [992 tokens remaining]
Date: November 1, 2022
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The taking away from the victims choice is what bothers me the most about this post.
Op, you say you take her word…..so you KNOW he did this. So you are choosing an abuser over your “good” friend. So now to be friends with her and others, you lie about being with him. What happens when your friend needs to come talk to you about how she was assaulted and her abuser is there and WITH you, her “friend”??
Your bf's behavior is disgusting but so is yours. You are apologizing for what he did, knowing he did it and choosing him anyway……
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also, healthy relationships are about fostering intimacy with each other not fostering intimacy with your computer screen.
Nah,
Fuck her
I don't think that's the issue either. When he does want sex things are great! I do feel like in some cases he doesn't feel like I'm good enough/worth the time, which is a conversation we've had in the past. I feel like porn is a big thing for him, seeing these girls post any and everything on Instagram and reddit, having his own personal stash from exes, etc.. It just sucks that he's in that mental loop where he thinks he's not going to enjoy being with me so he makes me nervous about it and then it doesn't go well because I'm focused on not doing something weird or wrong… Granted, that was mostly in the beginning and I've gotten more comfortable with just doing what feels good and what ellicits a response from him.. But I also think that still plays a part for him anyway. Like he just thinks it's easier than being with me.
I'd love to have an open conversation with him but I don't want him to feel attacked or trapped in conversation and I don't want it to turn into an argument.. I really just needed to get out my feelings and see if others had insight! Fortunately a few of the comments I think genuinely tried to help, yours included!
Thank you!!
I’m a single mum of a daughter and can tell you I wouldn’t be cool and you being so firm on this weird insistence for partial nudity around my kid would freak me out. You going behind her back is fucking weird and shows a concerning lack of boundaries with a teenage girl.
“You’re supposed to be sad after break ups”
There is clearly a misconception here. Why would you be sad if your situation after the break up clearly improved? Are you supposed to be sad after healing an illness? nope, right?
Enjoy being happy.
I'm so happy for you! I wish you and your family all the best!
Honestly, there is no way this is going to end well. He's had a year to figure something out, and he hasn't. His siblings aren't going to figure it out, either, because they consider themselves well-rid of the problem. It's your BF's problem now and, by extension, yours.
If you continue on this way, you will become more resentful, you'll be over-ruled on everything in your own home…from decor, to meals, to kids, to schooling for the kids. You will be outvoted on everything because BF will want “to keep the peace”.
If you miraculously move his mother OUT, you will constantly be blamed…by BF, by his mother, by his siblings for everything. It will be your fault his mom is unhappy, friendless, anxious, constipated, broke, depressed, eating too much, not eating enough, flatulent, corpulent, etc.
You're no longer compatible! You're not on the same page; you've grown up in 8 years and are ready to “adult”. Your BF is still allowing his strings to be pulled like a puppet by his siblings and his mother. No amount of you waiting around is going to resolve this! He's perfectly OKAY with having his mommy do his laundry, and cook his meals, and clean his apt. It's like living at home with Mommy while having his live-in GF to sex him up!
Please don't fall for the sunk-cost fallacy! 'If we break up, the whole 8 years was wasted!' That's incorrect thinking! In 8 years, you've grown, you've matured, and you've got boundaries (we live! alone like grown adults). Now you realize you've outgrown your BF and are ready for an adult relationship with no parents!
Take the money you were going to spend on the house and move out on your own. If he hasn't come to the realization of what a bad idea this is all on his own, then you'll be back here in less than a year complaining because whichever one of you 'gave in' on this issue is going to be absolutely f*cking miserable! Move out & move on.