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Strawberrybae, y.o.
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Date: November 3, 2022
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If I may, do you mind providing age and sex of you and your partner? It would help a bit for more context, information is lacking a bit in your message, how long have you been dating? Are they suspicious in other ways, such as only sending messages when you are not able to see the screen, putting it down quickly if you come close? Not trying to say they are potentially cheating, but there's a chance. Many times people who cheat or have something to hide will often be suspicious of the partner they are cheating on.
Don't be confused. He's a mess. Wants the attention only not a relationship. The next time he starts to flirt or invade your space, tell him nicely that he can stop flirting with you and that you have lost any interest in him. From here on out, only speak to him with your professional voice. At 30 years old something like this should only be a minor annoyance. Don't get too invested in something before it even exists.
There's a difference between certain men experiencing victimhood and “men are victims.” Men most often experience victimhood at the hands of other men. They are privileged in employment and government in almost the entire world. To say “men are victims” is to make a generalization that just isn't correct.
There are ways to point out how the system works against men, such as in the difficulty in establishing paternity for men who want to be in their child's lives. But to consistently point out that men as a whole are victims, particularly of women, is inaccurate and harmful. That's what I'm seeing over and over again on this sub.
He gets very volatile and mean when there's any conflict between us. He says things like I'm being childish and I should say screw my family and be with him.
Why do you want to stay with someone who gets mean when you have conflicts? This will just be one of many more. You probably could compromise on this – maybe every other year you sleep over at your family – but overall his reaction is unacceptable.
I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say he may not realize he's crossing a line (slim, but benefit of the doubt). He may not be banging her, but it sounds like he is emotionally cheating on you. And the fact that you've tried to voice your concerns and he's not concerned is a problem. I'd say give it one more sit down and be very firm and clear on where your problem is. Write it down if you need to. If this doesn't pull his head out of his ass, you need to reevaluate whether this marriage is worth it. Best of luck
I don't want to ruin her family time also
This is someone who seeks you out for all nighter conversations and have kissed you, you're not ruining anything. On the contrary it would be rude to just ghost her. Keep on communicating as you guys already do.
Sorry that was badly worded
An OBGYN is a great place to start for direction for treatment.
Nothing you can do mate. She made up her mind, tell her to pack a bag and go. She can come get her stuff after she finds a place. Have your self a good cry, eat a great meal and do stuff you enjoy. Life will get better mate.
I hate when OPs never reply to comments. I want the spice
Is he your biological brother? In just trying to make sense of the situation.
Now is a great time to ditch them all before they dump taking care of your elderly parents on you. You know it is coming and so do your parents. Do the 180, Walk away and don't look back. None of them deserve you.
You put a line in the sand. Stick to it. He is uncertain and you are not.
Text him and say “It’s really important that I talk you urgently. Please call me when you are free.”
Honestly OP,
The relationship is over, what do you really want out of it? For her to come clean, will that really make you feel better. Just know that she is/was a horrible person that did something nasty and move on. Letting her still live in your head will not let you move on.
If you want to do something spiteful, mail her a the pass and nothing else. No return address or nothing. No letter explaining what it is, absolutely nothing.
Honestly OP,
The relationship is over, what do you really want out of it? For her to come clean, will that really make you feel better. Just know that she is/was a horrible person that did something nasty and move on. Letting her still live in your head will not let you move on.
If you want to do something spiteful, mail her a the pass and nothing else. No return address or nothing. No letter explaining what it is, absolutely nothing.
Who tf prefers oil over lube? I would not want that near my bits even if it's considered safe. Sorry just literally never heard this from anyone before and have enough experience to feel comfortable saying that.
Based on the content of the messages alone, I'd say you don't need to worry. To me it sounds like: He reached out to her, she gave a polite response in the moment without really considering what might come next, then when she had time to think about it she decided not to speak to him anymore.
The fact that she deleted the messages might change things, but if she hasnt been giving you any red flags, I wouldn't assume it means she's being unfaithful. Sometimes, deleting messages from people who hurt us is more of a mental health exercise than anything else. My ex texted me a few months ago, and seeing our past conversations made me sick, so I deleted the whole conversation.
The fact that she didn't tell you could mean anything, what you take from that really just depends on how you two normally communicate.
If you can't see her being unfaithful, I think you should do some self-reflection and figure out why you snooped. I'm not saying it's some heinous crime. I just think you need to understand what made you feel like you needed to/should. Because the next step is to talk to her, and you'll want to give her an honest reason. Avoid making it sound like you were suspicious of her if you weren't. If you haven't already, maybe take this opportunity to decide together what your policy on looking at each other's phones is going to be. If what you did violates that policy, then the two of you can work together to make sure you never feel like you need to do that again.
It's cheating regardless of it's the same sex or not. Not sure why anyone would think differently.
Your wife was intimate with someone else.
If she actually loved you, she wouldn't have done it. Period. The end.
So, get yourself a lawyer. I'd even go have another conversation with her and record it, get her to admit to the cheating again.
Divorce her, cut your losses, and look for someone who you can actually spend your life with.
Kinda gross, he might just be like that. Surprising your mom doesn't seem to care. But then again, he's been around you since you were a baby, so, maybe he's just trying to tease you? I think if you openly displayed your disgust at his teasing it would probably stop. If you just act embarrassed about it, he'll likely not stop, ever.
I'm unfortunately not the best educated on my body, I wasn't aware hormones could play a part! In case it's not just a weird mental block speaking to a doctor is probably a good idea, thank you :))
Yesss that is probably true thank you!