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1. That's not what I meant at all. It's not a “trade” for sex but there has to be commitment to a goal of some sort on both sides. Maybe that goal is building trust. Otherwise what is the point of the dates. As a woman myself, and having been divorced once too, I know people who have “used” this approach for their own benefit, with NO intention of ever reciprocating ANYTHING at all (be it sex, or friendship or relationship, or peaceful co-parenting etc). This is also toxic and one-sided transactional. If they are gong to date and start over, the needs of both must be taken into some acct otherwise it could become a using situation. It's not going to be “fun” for him if he doesn't know her intentions. It'll be damn stressful and honestly I've been stressed in situations where I'm putting in the work only to find the other had no intentions. It's awful. He has expressed his fears that it'll just be dates with no reconciliation in the future. I think he's expressed a fair and valid concern. And by the way I'm a high level sexual need female with a low level sexual need husband and when you are the high level, sex IS an important part of a functioning relationship and he's not just being a horny dick for wanting sex from his partner. It's a normal want and need.

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