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Chris, y.o.
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Date: November 23, 2022
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I'm just being honest that's all, I have no reason to care more about her than I do about myself…I think that is anyone's instinct ? I want him to pay for what he did. If that is revenge than so be it
He has serious issues with consent and boundaries. ????
It is different tho.
Yeah I don’t know.. we are dating just not together as in a couple
The fact that he made you sleep on the couch when you had Covid is enough for me. If my lady is sick, she gets the comfy bed and I’ll take the sofa.
I hope you've been taking steps to protect yourself over the last 3 days since this was posted. I don't want to alarm you more than I'm sure the previous commenters already have … but being choked by your partner in any degree makes it significantly likelier that he'll end up as a murderer, not just an abuser…
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Bad decisions doesn't mean somebody has the right to take advantage of you when you clearly didn't consent too (I don't want to say rape because it's unclear).
Again bad decisions don't make any of this ok at all…
I had something similar happen to me. It would be helpful if you told us what the STD is.
You are both too young to be engaged.
I understand. Just put the test in a drawer in front of him and say here is the test if you feel you need it. Do what you want with it. Those comments offend me and I don’t want to hear them again. Point made. If he is concerned it’s there.
You can't fight that family influence unless she is willing to cut them off entirely. You might marry and move to yet a different country, maintaining a strict no contact stance. I know that's not what you want, but right now mom and dad hold all the cards. Your only other option is to give her up entirely, which you seem unwilling to do.
You are not her therapist. You’re not her fixer. She’s not a project. Talk to her about how you feel, tell her what you need. Then ask what she feels and needs. If you can’t find a middle ground, then the relationship probably needs to be re-evaluated.
She’d probably benefit from therapy, but so could we all.
Perhaps she needs more time. Two months is a really short time. You’re still getting to know each other.
I don't know much about to handle family but I think its best just to wait this out for whatever outcome.
For a massive caution OP I know the obvious motivation is to want to see a suicide note, but please be mindful that real life is very different than fiction is this regards. People often write notes in a very bad state, sometimes even when suffering a mental health episode. In any case they are not usually written with much accountability and can be confusing, hurtful and not usually a comfortable resolution.
It does seem like she’s leaning towards child free but it’s not out of the question to be 35 or even 40 and still on the fence. I wish the older you got the more you lean one way or the other, but it’s been the opposite for me and lots of people I know.
No there isn’t. He’s telling you he doesn’t want the relationship. Why don’t y’all just listen to the things that dudes are telling you loud and clear?
Congratulations on the baby. You two will make great coparents. But if you’re doing this hoping for a family and relationship, girl get yourself to therapy.
Sounds like he’s not a relationship type, or atleast not with you. Hes in his 50s, he knows what he wants. That’s old enough to be someone’s grandpa. He’s had four years to lock it down with you but he didn’t. He’s about to be a father and he still isn’t. Take the hint.
It may actually get worse. Years from now he might actually settle down with a woman, making it crystal clear for you that he specifically didn’t want it with you. But now you’re stuck coparenting with him and his new gf. Good luck with that mess.
If you start feeling better it was probably mostly her.
WTF did I just read? Yes, of course this is abusive. Don’t date anyone who doesn’t want the best for you.
“We need to talk…”
How can I make it safe for him to be honest with me? I told him that I’d rather hear an honest answer than continue being lied to. I won’t get overly mad. Yes, it will make me upset (I feel like it would make anyone upset really) but I won’t freak out. I told him that he can either admit the truth and then we can see what to do next (either go to therapy and work on his addiction together ** if HE genuinely wants to stop **,) if he doesn’t want to stop or he isn’t capable to do so for whatever reason I told him it’s better to admit it now and just end things because it’s not going to work out that way. i told him I’m not going to tolerate lies – so if he’s lying to me now and not admitting it, and eventually there’s going to be similar episode and the truth will uncover somehow I’m not going to give him any more chances. I’m willing to forgive him now and see if he wants to fix the issue, but if he will do it either way behind my back it’s definitely not going to work
I am if you have links I'll look into it.
I'm actually interested in the correlation of gender and the brain. As a cis person I can not comprehend what it is to be trans, so I'm looking for logical explanation.
Sadly tho I went and deleted my comments, i felt the information I was trying to express and the way people were taking it was too different. Plus if it was actually causing people discomfort it isn't worth the conversation it starts. However it got to -150 votes so I'll be adding $150 to my donation to St. Jude.
He’s thinking a Sahm is best for the baby after both of you being in the foster system. In his head. This is best. He assumed you thought so too. He forgot to ask. Get a counselor and work through this. This isn’t a deal breaker unless he refuses to see how this isn’t ok to make someone do. You’re thinking long term. College savings and etc for the baby. Y’all just need a third party to help you through this.
Im quite done too yeah. I will just add, I looked through your account. I thought maybe I will get an idea what kind of person you are. Maybe I misunderstand your intentions etc.
And it is weird. Nearly 99% of your comments and your posts are to dating or relationship advices. You go around behaving like relationship expert yet your own situations, love life etc is not good. Do you know how it made me feel? Like how you felt in the post about your sister making bullshit comments about your former relationship while her love life is a joke.
Because this is a healthy relationship that works. We were at a low and I just dont want him to hurt. I asked if someone can offer a solution and you are making comments about how this relationship would not work. As my engineer friends say “if it works, do not touch it”. You can not throw mud at something just because it doesnt fit your bias and is actually working out nicely.
I know it will get better. And unlike you, I really hope that you will be happy, ideally with that friend of yours.
If she won't tell because you are may be a fwb.