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1. So I have two amazing parents who help with childcare for my niece and they love doing so, and they were not asked to take on all that your daughter is asking you.

   They take my niece for a date night about once a month and a weekend trip a few times a year.

   They help when she has a day off from school that isn't a typical holiday so my sister works.

   They help with some appointments/school activities when my sister has to work.

   They plan days to take my niece out because they want to hang out with her.

   I say this to say, your daughter is asking way too much of you. She wants to have a child but a built in full time nanny to actually raise this child, and you need to just say no. She wants you to be more responsible for her child then she is by providing care while she is at work and then also so she can have time off.

   So think about what you are willing to do. Are you willing to stay with her for a week once she has the baby? That is I imagine a terrifying time to be a new parent, and agreeing to maybe stay a week with her and then for the first month or two to be around a lot more would be nice. Tell her absolutely no to being the regular child care, they need to put their kid in day care or get a nanny, but you are willing to do 2 date nights a month/a weekend trip a couple times a year, and of course step in if there is an emergency (like they hire a nanny and the nanny calls out sick). You don't need to do any of this, to be clear. But I am laying out some options that I would think make you the best grandma ever, who is there for their children and grandchild and has a whole life of their own too.

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