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Date: November 24, 2022
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To be fair my wife did the same as you however would flip flop on what she wanted which is normal because not every situation is the same. She should of just went to him and told him she needed him. It’s that simple. Partners especially younger males are clueless to these things (most of them not all). As for the sex a lot of men see it as affection and helpful in times like this.
First, you didn't disappoint her. She was disappointed because you decided to do something you enjoy, which should have had no impact on her. The fact that you can't watch a movie without her huffing and storming off is pretty messed up.
And now you blame yourself for all the things.
Your wife needs a lot of help. Is she in therapy? She's built this world up where you exist in the way she has molded you, and it's impossible for you to exist outside of that form. That's not fair to you. It's not fair to who you are, who you want to be, to your growth, or to what your relationship could have been if she had let you be yourself. Does she even like you? I ask because it sounds like she doesn't. It sounds like she found someone to dupe into her vision of what a relationship is, and it's unhealthy af—perhaps even abusive.
It probably is best that you spend some time apart and think about what you need for yourself and your relationship(s). She needs therapy now, and maybe you should meet with her therapist a few times (with or without her) so that person can see her behavior from another perspective. Do not go to couples counseling with this person until you know she's willing to let you exist.