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1. Abuse isn’t just physical or sexual. Verbal abuse is still abuse and mental illness isn’t an excuse to be an asshole. You trying to downplay the impact of being on the receiving end of someone’s public unmedicated tirade is gross. You can’t just scream hurtful, vindictive things at people and expect them to get over it. Sounds like the shoe might fit and that’s why you’re on the defensive.

   OP said his anger isn’t just directed at her, so to say he’s just a neurodivergent man having a meltdown on a bad is simply incorrect. It’s a pattern of behavior. He’s a neurodivergent man who has an anger problem. OP’s partner needs help, but it’s not OP’s job to endure that kind of treatment from their partner.

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2. Thanks for the advice. This is easily his biggest flaw he brings to the relationship. If he didn’t change, I would 100% regret staying with him because money security is so important to me.

   All else, this relationship is amazing. Which is why I’ve stayed this long while dealing with our financial differences.

   They say money and kids make or break relationships….. : (

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