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BodyBuilderTexas, 29 y.o.
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Date: December 1, 2022
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I had this problem with my last boyfriend. We were together over four years and I just finally ended it two months ago because that feeling your describing is absolute torture. I realized it was a problem 6 months in and tried everything to fix it for four years after that. It never changed no matter how many times we talked about it and thought we got somewhere.
I tried to live! with it. I decided that there was so much there that was good, that I could online with this one thing lacking. But no matter how much I wanted that, I couldn't take it.
I will just pipe in and say the gesture that he is taking the 15k hit on the money is the very definition of putting his money where his mouth is. I would get a therapist and go into couples counseling
It would be a mistake to get married this early, yes, especially since you haven’t lived together yet. You’re so young, what’s the rush? Focus on your own goals first. If she can’t or doesn’t want to wait, oh well.
Write your dad a letter or send a text if he texts. Explain how you feel and have been feeling ask if there are things you can do to improve communication and build or rebuild your relationship. Try not to take any suggestions he makes as a personal attack. Hopefully, he will respond in kind and work with you. If he does not, then definitely take some time and space.
What a beautiful and well thought response.
I wanna know this too lol
I would argue its people having a true understanding of the hardships a person will have later in life with parents so much older than them.
OP, you’re asking her to move somewhere that she has no bodily autonomy. Speaking as a woman who currently lives in TX, it is terrifying. Do y’all want kids? Because here, if she had an ectopic pregnancy, they would let her die. THATS the state you’re demanding she go to. One where her life is lower than any hypothetical child. One where she can never feel safe having kids. One where she is a second class citizen.
If you love her, think VERY hard about what you’re asking.
Sounds like you needed to establish days for friends and days for you, even if they happen to be a week apart. Suffocating the guy was the nail in the coffin.
Not much else to say other than that, sounds like you both need to work on your finances more than your relationship. I’ve paid rent for years and I never even graduated from college or would even consider myself in a good line of work and I manage.
The problems sound deeper than just the relationship if you ask me
it’s embarassing because it’s not representative of who i am. i’m usually generous even in the worst financial times and i want a partner who is also generous to others. i don’t make him pay for everything there are many occasions where i’ve picked up the bill etc but it’s never split 50/50. we just do some here and some there. but now i feel uncomfortable for him to pay knowing that the person who served us won’t get their deserved tip
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Why do you think smokers keep smoking? It's not because they're not addicted. Look up the health problems they have, and the associated costs. What if you get married and have kids? How much time will he be spending outside smoking? He'll stink, and if he holds your kids they'll stink too. And all that wasted money.
Plus he's a liar. You realize how disrespectful that is I hope.
Plus you've only been dating seven months.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
My bf (26M) has a sleeve of very graphic tattoos. Most of them are torture scenes — he has a tattoo of a medieval torture rack, a man being impaled, a man being skinned, etc. I (25F) don’t really like the violent nature of these tattoos but they’re done by a good artist and they fit his aesthetic taste (We are both horror movie lovers) We have been together for 6 years but he only started getting these tattoos 1 year ago. He’s gotten full sleeves within the space of 1 year, and I haven’t said anything til now but there’s definitely a line for me that he is about to cross. I already get uncomfortable/embarrassed when I’m standing in the grocery store beside him and people in the checkout line see his violent tattoos and look disturbed. Once when we were at a theme park, a parent actually shielded her kid from looking at his tattoos and changed place in a ride queue to avoid him.
Now my bf has saved up for months and wants to get more tattoos. He showed me the new designs and they are BDSM scenes (women tied up and being whipped) and tattoos of people committing suicide. I am politically against censorship and the idea of “obscenity” as a legal category, but these images make me viscerally uncomfortable. I don’t want to associate my bf with sexual violence and suicide every time I look at him for the rest of my life. I know they’d make me sad every time. As a secondary note, I also have social anxiety and I know if he gets these tattoos, I will be hyperaware of other people’s reactions when I’m with him. I’m worried his tastes will reflect back on me.
To be clear, I’ve suggested that he gets art prints of these designs instead and hang them up in our house. I’ve tried to tell him that it’s okay to like the art but in my opinion, less appropriate to put it on your body so that other people are forced to see them. I’ve spent hours looking through this tattoo artist’s portfolio finding other designs we could agree on, but he doesn’t like them as much. I don’t want to break up with him and I think a tattoo is a really stupid reason to give an ultimatum but in this case because of the nature of the contents, the conversation is about our moral difference / a difference in values. If I had a kid with this guy, I would have to explain these tattoos to our child. I’ve discussed all my concerns with him multiple times. He has an appointment to see his tattoo artist next week. He thinks I’m being controlling. What should I do?
you walked away from her and she already wanted to try open relationship!You can tell that you broke up with her because she offered an open relationship.waiting will affect your relationship badly
Break up without giving the girl an excuse to see someone or leave you
See if she wants you back or if she just says ok and continues
she will continue to have the experiences she wants.
Do not have children with this man.
Why upset!! It’s not that she got married!! If u love her and know her well, don’t think about the past shit, think about now and the future
Girl you're fucking dumb. I'm saying this out of kindness. He's always going to put his brother first. You dodged a huge bullet in not marrying him. Get out now.
ok
Thank you I already have been for months. In calligraphy.
This right here. I have no idea how many condoms i currently have because we don't use them. However i have used them for a posh wank before. If i was confronted with missing condoms, I would come clean, but wonder why she was counting.
What do you actually have to offer? What exciting insights do you genuinely have? Because right now you’re selfish leech with an inflated sense of your own importance who doesn’t care about hurting their “friends.”
If you can't trust your guy's word maybe you shouldn't be with him. Some guys use them to release some tension especially in a situation where a bathroom visit to clean off isn't feasible.
Sure….
You should have recorded that conversation. Or at least sit down and talk about it again and record it. If you guys ever do get to do that fantasy of hers(it could be a kink) then you’re gonna need evidence in case one day she will turn it around on you and play victim
Hahaha!
He may be dense. Some of us really need you to spell it out. I want it at this restaurant, these friends, and our family, and then tell him to figure it out. The surprise is gone, but you get a setting you deserve. Thank you for the compliment. They are only successful when you are willing to keep working and improving at it. I wish you the best and hopefully many happy years together.
Right? This isn’t Angola, this isn’t prison, it’s a relationship, & yes you kinda suck for calling your wife names. Simple as.
Why are you still friends with her? You aren’t going to change her by complaining to her about this and making it a big deal. Just decide whether you want to continue being friends and if not, keep your distance in the future. You don’t have to stay with people who frustrate you.
Also George S. Kaufman and his wife Beatrice after she had their child. He sneaked around with Mary Astor, who famously kept a diary that became Exhibit A in a very torrid court case.
All this reading through comments is going to do is make you more paranoid. You need to just sit and talk to your husband, reasonably/calmly and explain your exact feelings and concerns. That’s it. You talked to her, she said what she said. Leave it to your husband and you. Don’t snoop. Don’t have someone do searches for you, just be an adult and talk to your husband.
I thought of this right away, he wants to hear he’s got a big dick. I hesitated in saying it for fear the very idea would be bashed but seriously, men compare themselves to what they see in porn just as women do, men compare themselves to the size of dildos.
Expecting a partner to still be a virgin at 23 is pretty foolish. If that’s her hangup she’s going to have a bad time.
Do what’s comfortable. When something doesn’t feel right you know to slow down. When it stops feeling good is when you have a problem.
What? I think a lot of reddit are split between professionals with plenty of income and students. I hope OP is a troll because her attitude stinks. She deserves what she gets.
Have you considered your wife is having an affair?