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Date: December 5, 2022
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He said in his last post that they had 1.5 mil saved. He also he has metastatic cancer with an extremely poor prognosis. Telling a person in a hopeless situation not to give up hope is cruel.
I don’t think he was getting blowjobs. Someone stated above its not an uncommon price, and that there are laws and cameras in place at the clubs. Also he was talking to his friend about the dance, he likely would’ve told his friend if something else happened. Why are you so interested in what he bought me for Christmas last year?
I showered with my parents at that age. Just easier. My sister and I are close in age so it was the quickest way shower both little girls.
I think this too.
I am just assuming but, my girl will occasionally not be happy with me pushing of a request. She's been at home all day, likely busy and possibly trying to keep a child on a schedule. So, for him to come home and she ask for something because she's running behind… and he blows her off. She would obviously get mad.
Also, might be bitterness for him still able to keep his privacy. I'm a single father. You don't get any privacy when it's just you. For example, I'm extremely a shy pooper, I can't go with others watching or even if I suspect they may be listening. It takes time for me to get relaxed and go…
However, my daughter never gave af. They would bother me and bother me until I finally stopped caring. To this day, they are the only two people who have ever seen me poop. So, I can also imagine her being like “Look at this guy. Spends all day enjoying his freedom and while I can even crap with out my daughter watching me. What's his problem with it? We don't have much time and I want to keep her on a schedule. Let me go ask him”
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We have been talking for 7 months
Just want to say that this is something that reddit is nowhere near qualified to help with. You need to talk with him and be up front. Asking the reddit mob for heartfelt advice is begging for a trainwreck.
One day a month? I’m sorry but he sounds like a little bitch. Grow a pair and love your fucking wife!
Were you trying to talk up your relationship? Because the way you talk about him sure doesn’t make it sound like you respect him much. You guys apparently get along because you both recognize that you are the competent and smart one and he’s the goofy derpy vulnerable one who puts you on a pedestal and should defer to your judgement.
You hid talking to your ex you even say “i forgot about that message” and think your bf would be ok with that? I hope this is just a troll if not i usually try help couples stay together but i wouldnt chase after your new-ex unless hes a idiot hes not gonna believe you have no feelings or anything when you hid it from him.
I'll tell ya, I'm 23 and I'm just nowhere near as horny as I was 6 years ago. Things I would overlook at 18 I won't overlook now.
Obligatory “you were fuckin at 14 and 17? That sounds like crime”
You clearly caught her out and her denials are beyond ridiculous, but you’re fine with it? Hope the next time it doesn’t involve something more serious than her spying on you because she trusts you.
Especially since she was first at a restaurant. People typically don’t go to restaurants by themselves. Why OP didn’t think to ask who they were with is beyond me. I feel like that’s natural to ask someone when they say they’re doing something.
I think you should do it until it isn't a net benefit for each of you. My personal opinion is that FWB is inherently unstable and won't last forever. But you can do check ins and just talk to them, make sure this situation is still working, see if it is turning into unrequited love, etc and see if you should keep going
Tell her you've had tighter.
Definitely go for a candy-gram.
As a woman, I would be upset if I found paper tissues like that too. So I would say it’s not just you.
You should ask him about it and at the same time show your appreciation that he’s helping more. The fact that he’s finally helping doesn’t mean you should not be allowed to complain about anything out of fear of him reverting back to not helping.
I’m not around him anymore I live! in my own house he has his
Look man… whenever she says she's going to hang out with her friends you're now going to be wondering if she's actually at the club and if those hidden condoms are getting used. There is no way this can out of your head after her weak excuse and the lack of taking how you felt about it seriously.
Communication and trust are the pillars of a relationship and she failed at both.
your man fighting another guy “in your honor” is naked in the movies. in reality, it means your husband is violent and i wouldn’t be surprised if he turned that violence onto you at some point.
But it’s the only problem we have and I don’t want to just call it quits if I could I would like advice so that we could fix this between us because my ways have failed.
your unexcited ass opened a can of worms. you can't just cause turmoil in someone else's life and wanna stop because you've inserted yourself in someone else's business enough. if you truly cared about this girl and told her the truth for whatever heroic reasons then you should give her a peace of mind. be completely honest, not only as far as it scratches your back. also…blergh for interfering in someone elses life. what he does is not cool but it's got nothing to do with you. if you dont agree with it then withdraw yourself, not the opposite. ion gaf what you guys might think or say, other people's business is THEIR FUCKING BUSINESS!! unless someone is dying or unless they directly include you in their affairs then stfu. or atleast if you're gonna “save the day” then be decent about it, not selfish.
It’s still shitty as fuck to have sex with someone regularly when you don’t love them. I think that’ll hurt her regardless, easy breakup or not lol
He ain’t your boyfriend.
You break the cycle by setting firm boundaries like OP did.
It's kind of naked to have an “adult relationship” with a selfish and screeching so-called grown up.
Just how do propose to break that cycle? Honest question.
Thanks for the advice – that seems very reasonable!
If your boyfriend can't appreciate you for all the work you put into this dog, then that's a concern on a fundamental level that will express itself in new and unfortunate ways throughout your relationship.
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He’s 34? You’re 20 and you’ve been together 2 years? Ewwwwww!!
You were in love with him when you first got together? Big oof, you were in lust, not in love
Hes 20 and this is likely something hes dealt with for his whole life. You dont just magically defeat your abuser/manipulator.
yeah, this is gutting in every sense. I’m so sorry for OP, and I’m so sorry for OP’s husband, too. just tragic
Therapy, get to therapy, both alone and with your husband.
You will never forget what you go through when you’re pregnant. Especially to THIS degree. Your husband took another woman’s word over yours and you were pregnant!
Co parenting is way better than the kid growing up in a home full of resentment because they feel it too.
Spruce : A product of two toxic parents who stayed together “for me.”
He believes I have a local complice (the ex of my best friends actually)… I would just drop it, if only my ex didn’t have some compromising photos of me. I’m afraid for a “revenge porn” situation.
You’re her sugardaddy
I really don't. My marriage is my priority. I can and have lived well without these friendships. I tried to forget them but three years down the line my subconscience keeps bringning them up, which I would much prefer it didn't. I don't know what the best course of action is, and I thought that reconnecting in some way might normalize things. But that may be a very stupid thought, I admit. I am on r/relationshipadvice for a reason, ultimately.
She was 100% a narcissist, she fits the criteria for one pretty much exactly. Everything you said was my conclusion as well after some researching. It just sucks that I realized too late, but I'm never making that mistake again.
Sounds like he really wants to control her
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Dude watches too much porn, guaranteed.
This. Bc prenup is a claim of his fear you are after his money. So you can (and should) do a similiar claim of fear he will leave you 15y later with nothing (aka no savings, no retirement money) for some young chick. If he thinks his claim is reasonable (aka “i don't believe you do it, but just in case”), he should not be offended you want the exactly same safety net “just in case” as him.
So what you're saying is, “OP man! OP BAD!!! GRRRR!!!”
To be honest, what I cannot comprehend is that so many people are trying to hold her to the same level as someone who was actively sexually assaulting/raping her.
No one's saying that. You're just assuming and equating the two different things when we AND INCLUDING THE OP, have recognized that withholding that information has painted her into an awkward corner. All I'm trying to say is when she's in her next serious relationship, she should be able to talk about her infertility. That's literally it.
I see what you mean! It’s just that I’m very hurt and taken aback by this 180 so that’s why I’m thinking about it 🙁
Get the paternity test, present the results to him with the divorce papers, and be done with him already. This will never get any better.
Tbh you shouldn’t even have to say this. Any loving partner knows not to kick up a stink about being asked to buy flowers on Valentine’s Day,
Unless he can’t afford it or something, he’s being a selfish ass
I think if you enjoy it that much and see it as something you want to share with a partner then it’s clear she’s not the right one for you.
No, for the way he treats her. Feelings are not abusive, actions are.
The purpose of dating is to see if you’re a good fit. This doesn’t sound like a good fit. So don’t marry her FFS.
Also, what changed? What are her reasons when you discuss it? Have you two done any premarital couples counseling? Is it something she wants to change or is she fine with the status quo?
Nah, if your partner can't accept you for who your are and then acts like a toddler that doesn't get what they want. It is time to move on.
No, absolutely the fuck not, you're not “having” to do anything. Telling your husband to go have a child with another woman while you're married is absolutely fucking nuts and it's so sad you're not seeing just how fucking nuts this is. If somebody told me I'd feel like I'm being pranked and would start looking for the hidden cameras. What the actual fuck.
Do not let someone who has absolutely nothing to do with your marriage, has no say in it, start to butt in and influence you two. What you decide to do is only up to you and your husband. Nobody else. Everybody else's opinion, especially an insane one like this, is absolutely irrelevant.
Do not let her drag you into this.
I don’t know how much it is, i think she said it’s like $1000 per week or fortnight or something
Oh, ok… many important details! I was just wondering if he was unconscious for the choking or for everything else, but if you’re sure he meant “a bit” to the choking that’s fine.
Also, I don’t think you should worry if he has done it himself unprompted because he knows you like it.
What am I supposed to do now? Should I just let things pass or bring it up yet again, months after it’s happened? I’m so confused. Boyfriend and I are on great terms right now, I don’t really want to start a fight.
Yeah, no, the question of how am I supposed to make guy friends? Why are guy friends prioritized over female friends? I don't have a problem with friends of the opposite gender, but I do when it's prioritized over a current relationship.
Personally, I think the bigger issue is her refusing to talk. If they’re talking about marriage she should understand how important communication is. I don’t think she should be worried since OP is still with her even with his fathers disapproval; it doesn’t seem like he would take his advice and leave her. I’d be gentle, but OP I’d suggest mentioning how important communication is and that stonewalling over family issues is not setting a good precedent for the future of your relationship. If you’re planning a future together, you’re bound to have family issues and need to navigate them together — that won’t happen if you can’t communicate.
It's for the best, she has made some horrible financial choices that will affect her for many years and is getting further into debt, instead of trying to pay down current debt. It's insane!
She could have gone to a cheaper college and not be in $250K debt.
Hit the gym, eat a good diet, and get plenty of sleep. Don't let her down. Those are rookie numbers. Your dick won't fall off.
Trust me. Many guys face the opposite problem. Enjoy it while it's there.
Right? My grandma helped me get my prescriptions and dropped me off at home after and I lived alone. I took a nap and after that, I was good to go. Everything I had to do was something I specifically needed to do, like brush my own teeth, gargle the special mouth wash, take my pills as needed, etc. i set it up so I’d be ok. I had soft foods easily available. And to be fair, my removal was not easy, 2 of my wisdom teeth were decayed and infected (so much fun) but I honestly could’ve gone to work the day after, I just figured since I took the time off, I’ll take the time off. She’s being very very extreme.
Same.
You are ruthless but also correct. Sadly I still think I’m going to take her cuz im a bitch smh
I would have snapped by now and said “i wish i was still fuckin them now and never fucked you”
Actually i would have snapped and dumped her long before marriage
Yeah he's full of shit.
I def don't see what her does as an addiction, not do his therapists. Stop spreading lies.
Thanks a lot, I'll be firm with him!
I'd break up with him, not mention the photos. Make sure you have some form of proof on your phone etc. Then report him to the police. Having photos of a minor when you weren't even in their life at the time, is creepy asf
Lmao hey man, you do remember calling me a dick first right? You started the name calling and I played YOUR game. Don’t be salty
I know you love those kids but staying in their lives isn’t going to keep them from whatever their parents are teaching them. It’s a lost cause and as long as they are not being physically abused then they will just have to grow up and hopefully realize what POS their parents are. You are the company you keep, if you stay in their lives, you are essentially saying it’s ok. If you support her wedding to this man, same thing. I would also start telling your extended family members, her parents, your grandparents etc. “I’ve decided not to attend Cs wedding as the man she is marrying is a legit nazi and I do not support that.”
‘If I lose her I have no one’ isn’t a reason to stay in a relationship with a rude partner who gaslights you and has no respect for your feelings. It’ll just make your life worse. Unless you’re somehow okay with being treated this way for the rest of your life, my advice is to break it off sooner rather than later, get out there and make some new friends.
Because the answer to ‘Is there a way to get her to change’ is likely a no if she can’t even listen to a very simple concern you have…
Also her future earnings are merely speculative at this point.
You have not experienced or observed her real money habits.
She has lived with parents and she has student loan debt. (Are you privy to all her finances? Does she have other assets and debts?)
What you have and are bringing to this situation/relationship are concrete and current. Not future promises.
If you want to proceed with her flawed reasoning (I’m being generous with the term “flawed”) then the purchase should be in your and your parents names only.
^^ Hobosexual
Thanks for these words, they really comforted me. I really do love her and I feel so bad that I'm willing to break up for such thing, but I honestly can't imagine starting a life with this kind of a person. Thanks a lot! I mean it
Right? “Just bone me, no talking” makes me swoon.