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Date: December 7, 2022
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Oh eff right off. Is that why I forget to take them unless someone hands them to me? Ever see a meth user forget to take it?
Thank you, I knew the spelling was wrong but didn't know the correct one
Yeah, I'm generally not one for ultimatums, but this seems like time for a come to jesus/explain yourself talk followed by an ultimatum.
LDR with a man who views sex with you as a chore. Honestly, there's nothing to cry about here, except for the time you've wasted in a relationship with a man who is emotionally unavailable.
Yes, a lot of people say that and I think they are all men and you should maybe think where we are coming from with that advice. We are logically presenting this as the most likely scenario
Just because his friend likes short blondes typically doesn't mean he would find a taller brunette attractive, especially a model…
Well, put yourself in this friends shoes. Let's say hypothetically that I and the others on here are correct and he is into you. You meet him through your boyfriend and he takes a liking to you. Well, tough luck, you are taken and he's obviously not going to be all out asking you for dates or anything like that. So he has chosen the other option which is the more sly way of befriending you and hoping for more afterwards. Driving a wedge between you and your boyfriend would be the opening he thinks he needs.
Bottom line is, there is no proof that your boyfriend has cheated on you. Don't believe an older man who sounds like is into you, as he may have a horse in this race.
This situation and subsequent advice would have been very different had there been a girl message you out of the blue, that you'd never met before, telling you she'd slept with your man.
Nah dude. I’m a 20 year old w a 24 year old, but we didn’t meet until I was an adult. She’s been GROOMING YOU since you were THIRTEEN!! No 18 year old should be hanging around a 13 year old!!
Good point.
Can you give an example of a small thing you share and what he says?
If it’s genuinely how feel then it’s not a “wrong” answer. There is no “wrong” answer except lying.
However if she’s on a different page than you and she’s ready to get married and no longer wishes to wait, but you aren’t ready and want to wait longer, it may become an incompatibility and she decides to move on. Be prepared for that.
If I were her I wouldn't even let on I was bothered at all by his rejection. Showing anger just gives him what he wants which is validation he hurt you or disappointed you. Nothing freezes these types out more than just going about your way as if you don't even think of them or the situation that happened.
However do not let him touch you at all. If he tries to sit too close or put a hand on OP I hope she just gives him an awkward look and says “No” while moving away.
To make things worse there is someone I'm constantly thinking about being with and want a relationship.
Way to bury the lead, bro.
You may have already felt discontented before you met this other person, but the fact that you're fantasizing about a relationship with someone else is far from being a footnote in your current situation. It's more likely to be one of the biggest reasons, if not the biggest reason, why your wife doesn't have any real hope that her efforts to improve will actually make a difference— because a real-life person carrying more than 19 years of imperfect history can never in a million years compare to your flawless crush and fantasy relationship.
If you aren't already, please discuss your situation with a licensed therapist who can help support you through the process of making the best possible choice, considering the potentially life-altering consequences for you, your wife, and your children.
Why is your girlfriend who is aware of your very clear discomfort and annoyance giving these people so much time a quick hi is on thing but catching up on what why does she care what they are doing? If every time you went out a woman came over air kissed you and tried to catch up who turned out to be a former flame she would have a problem. It could be argued that her having so much time for these men in front of you is a shit test which you are passing hence her irritation!
LMFAO
Again?
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He can want what he wants, but you don't need to give it to him. Find someone better.
For some people, college experience is finding a future spouse. Have your own college experience. Cause he isn't going to give you it.
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yeah, it is childish “I found one guy who tolerates me, why can't I mould him like a kiddy putty to my shape” in my experience you cannot get this attitude out of her so you will need to end things with her or she will make your life miserable before she decides to leave you herself. Basically, she wants a boyfriend who is in a different stage or style of life than you are and she does not care about you, otherwise she would not cry because you can't do what someone else can. Let her go and see if she can find a boyfriend to fit her needs and you will either get through to your degree and find time for these things or you will find someone who is looking for what you can offer now and in the future.
You’re just staying with her because it’s comfortable and you’re used to the situation. You may have respect and love for her, but you don’t care about her enough to make a long lasting commitment. I wish you didn’t waste 3+ years of her life because it’s more likely she sees herself spending it with you if she hasn’t brought up the issue. You knew long before the last year and a half. You knew her personality and how she is, it usually all breaks down in the first year of dating. Just let her go, and honestly, if I were you I’d stay single at least til the end of your PhD. You have some growing up and reality checking to do.
Seriously, wtf did I just read?
OP, stop being a doormat and lay down an ultimatum to your parents and his: this stops now or they’re all cut off. Then elope. He will not stop bc he’s obsessed with you. Nothing you do will make him stop so you have to remove yourself from the situation and the enablers.
Which is why most people think most people suck.
C'mon bro you know the answer.. leave her ass
Thanks for providing a resource, you're the real MVP!
Dude. Wake up ??♀️
Medical conditions are always the reason to get a dna tests.
Good call on the no contact
No matter what you decide OP, know it's valid. As much as we like to shit on someone who stays with a partner that did them wrong, it's ok if you go down that path and look to rebuild with her. It's also obviously ok if you decide another route. Whichever it is though, own it and don't let resentment poison you or any figure relationship.
OP, I feel you on this. If my fiancée approached me about potentially opening up our relationship, I’d be heartbroken. Even if the conversation was done by the book – open, honest communication, respectful of boundaries, etc – the relationship would be over for me. Even if I said no thanks, and she was like “no problem, I will respect your boundaries, we’ll stay monogamous”… yeah, thanks, but also no fucking thanks. I’d be packing same day.
I would feel insufficient, unattractive, insecure. I am a strictly monogamous dude, I don’t have any space in my romantic and sexual relationships for more than one person. It’s just how I’m wired. I don’t want anyone but the person I am with, if I was told she wanted to go fuck other people, it’s just a strict incompatibility.
I also want to point out the difference between fantasies, and requests. Multi-partner fantasies (threesomes, etc) are naked af, we all get little crushes on people who aren’t our partners sometimes, look at porn, etc. Sex and the thoughts around it are fun, and ways to explore. So it’s not like I am advocating thought-policing your partner, and telling him what he’s allowed to fantasize about…
but, like, you have to really want to fuck other people to approach the mother of your children and ask her for permission to do so. If I was you, OP, I couldn’t deal with that either. I want to be with someone who loves me, values me, cherishes me, and for whom I am enough. Just how I’m wired.
I suggest you to think about what you need from your marriage. Obviously shared property ownership, kids, etc make this complicated. But in my opinion, the foundation on which all of that is built is affection, trust, and respect. If the foundation isn’t strong anymore, all the rest of it is a house of cards anyway.
You aren't as close as you previously believed and this is a hurtful way to discover that. I would slowly back away to some degree and don't provide any free labor for her wedding.
Thanks for replying, you’re completely right I don’t think he’s abusive but he definitely doesn’t respect or love me.
She's gone, but you sure that's the right call?
I might, but if none of it is true he doesn't need to know someone said those things about him. That's why I haven't brought it up; I don't want to falsely accuse him of something and then have to listen to the vile filth some crazy bitch has been spewing about him on top of it.
We had magic together when it was just the two of us.
It's easy to be perfect when you don't let reality come in but the truth is that you cannot online forever in a cosy little love bubble. Sooner or later we all have to venture forth to face the world and everything that it throws at us, be it good or bad, and we all deserve someone who'll be there to celebrate our wins and hold us tight during the losses. Your ex is not that man.
You did the right thing. Stay strong.
Was your husband manufactured in a red flag factory
No
Why? The punishment for cheating is that you will break up with them, sometimes on conditions like going to therapy. You already gave him the consequence, so telling him why now is just going to make him shrug. It won't likely affect your parenting situation, and it won't make him any more or less likely to get back with you (if he is even trying). So I really have to question what you would gain, aside from getting it off your chest?
Even if she didn't say stop she said it hurts and that should have been enough, with the way he acted to her saying it hurt I doubt he would have stopped if she asked anyway. Op defo needs to leave this guy and possibly report him or reach out to someone as who knows if this could lead to something else in the future
I'm sorry. Is she 27 or 7? That is such a childish reaction
Don’t threaten me with a good time