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? Your fairy tale?, 24 y.o.
Location: Vienna, Austria
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms ? Your fairy tale?
Date: December 13, 2022
If it's related her insecurities then no it not biphobic, it's about her insecurities.
She doesn't have any prejudice or hatred towards her BF, she's just not attracted to him anymore.
When people don't look after their own hygiene and they used to, generally points to depression of some sort. I wouldn't worry much about the washing panties in the shower, lots of people do this. I'd worry about the fact that she hasn't been cleaning and has run out of panties. As a women I was taught to wear fresh panties at least daily.
So you just don’t want him to have any friends? Sounds kind of selfish and insane
It is OK if he gets defensive.
Honestly, I would wait until it happens and then go down, soaking from the tub, and say, “Babe, please pick up the baby when he is crying, thank you, I will be back down when I am done my bath, in about half an hour” and then go back upstairs.
And then talk about it after. “I don't like having to remind you to pick up the baby when he's crying, is there a reason you were letting him cry?”
I did not check her post history, but she sounds absolutely vile.
She's worried about the daughter
If talking with her meses with you, block her. Cut the contact.
lol he screenshoted someones story of me and was like “thats you” and idk im just so confused
i thought exes didnt talk to each other if they didnt carw
My partner doesn’t watch it but if he started to I don’t think I’d care too much as long as it’s not excessive and doesn’t become a problem in our relationship.
Straight out, your partner clearly is not practicing what he preaches, and either has zero self-awareness around this, or is manipulating and gaslighting you, or both. Just because someone is a therapist that does not mean they are a balanced or respectful person. He should know better. He should communicate better. He should accept some responsibility and listen.
Unfortunately some therapists think they can do no wrong as they are the 'experts' and their ego may has gotten the better of them. The other could be that unfortunately a lot of narcissists and perpetrators are drawn to the role due to the clear power dynamics in their favour. I say this as a counsellor, and it is a scary thought. Just like some doctors use their medical knowledge for the wrong reasons, some therapists will use their knowledge of people and insecurity for the wrong reason.
If your husband is not willing to work WITH you and is only happy to point out your flaws, it is likely abusive behaviour “minimise, deny, and blame”. Search up 'Power and Control Wheel' and 'The Cycle of Abuse'. Those are usually good starting points to assess whether some of his behaviours directed toward you in the relationship are considered abusive.
Good luck to you and please don't invalidate your concerns, even if he may try.
You should notify her parents or police. What she is doing is highly dangerous and illegal. You could get in trouble for just receiving it. She's going to get someone else in a lot of trouble and potentially ruin their lives, not to mention her own, by doing this. REPORT HER… Especially to Instagram. Tell her you want no contact. You didn't ask for this. Block her. Even when you delete the video they can still see who it was sent to which was why I said report her to the police.
Reminds me of this line from the green book,
“Dignity always prevails.”
(Sadly it still took many years for you)
I'm so happy for you hope you
Tell him to go back to mommy bc you need an actual man in your life.
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You say porn is normal in some relationships and also that you have him an ultimatum about it. So…I’m pretty confused about where you stand on this.
He probably halfasses his 10 hour a week job too….
This would be such a dumb and infuriating way to lose your livelihood. The company would better also hope that social media never catches wind. That's just asking for a massive PR NIGHTMARE from a business standpoint.
Um. If you care about your kid you wouldn’t stay. You know how many kids wish parents made a choice like that? If you dont leave her you’re failing your kid. You may not see it yet but others are warning you. Listen
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Annulment should be available. Go get it done ASAP.
OP, imagine if you didnt see that phone, he would have delete everything and not tell you about anything.
OP, imagine if you didnt see that phone, he would have delete everything and not tell you about anything.
If he's going to cross boundaries that cause your self esteem to be crushed, he likely will not stop at not meeting or respecting your needs. That's not a healthy relationship.
Let it slide and walk away.
Sounds a little narcissistic, not a good sign for the future.
Good for her!! She clearly stated her expectations and you thought it somehow didn't apply to you. 3 days is more than enough time to reply. I don't care how busy you are if someone is important to you, find the time!!
I completely agree.
You fucked around and found out. This is what happens when an immature control freak tries to play pointless games with someone they claim to love. You had no intention of selling pictures of yourself – you just wanted to make sure he knew that he has no say about anything you do. He didn't try and stop you – he laid down his boundaries and split. You're now regretting your little game. How are you 32? Most people grow out of these games after about 17.
Yeah, you were being insensitive. Bro, Are you seriously this tone deaf? Hes gonna care about his cat more than you right now because hes about to LOSE his cat, who has had a major impact on his life. He cares about you too, but he knows that you wont drop dead or have to be put down any time soon. You comparing your fear of losing ur bf to his fear of his cat fucking DYING is insensitive as hell man. Have you even tried putting yourself in his shoes???? Smh that statement was very inappropriate for the situation
I know im being way meaner than I should, but dang. This struck a cord, and I do apologize for that OP, but I do indeed mean what I said. You 'liking' his cat doesnt compare to his love and appreciation for the cat. Saying you also like the cat and expecting that to fix anything is so tone deaf
You honestly don’t see anything wrong with a 40 year old person dating someone 15 years younger than them?
Yea he tried nude to make me pregnant. And it didn’t work out every month for me I felt that pressure when I wasn’t pregnant…. So yeaaa
Maybe you should try a therapist?
Ummm… why are you advising OP does therapy with his abuser? So she has better ammo to abuse him with?
If you're going to suggest therapy to commenters on this sub, absolutely DO NOT recommend people to do therapy with their abusers. The abuser will just use what they learn in therapy to further their abuse towards their partner.
I'm not sure how the conversation was handled before and either way I would still handle the situation respectfully, I don't see a cause for any serious confrontation but a serious discussion should definitely be had.
It's not clear how the conversation went the first time. It could have been a passing comment , could have been a brief mention of it , without knowing more specifics it's difficult for me to advise any further that , “Address the situation”…
You do you. But get ready to have a miserable relationship if you continue with your behaviour.
Ill say it again. Stop behaving like a doormat, dump him sdsp. And go to therapy for yourself, you clearly have issues tht need to be threated.
Just sounds like he doesn't respect the relationship or your feelings. People that give a shit about you don't brush you off when you're expressing your feelings.
As others suggested, get a lawyer. There is “fair” and there’s “required by law”. The two may not be the same.
Your call, but if it were me, I would only focus on a woman that has directly expressed interest COMBINED with concrete action.
Wants to be a stay at home Mum – doesn't have children Isn't ready to contribute financially – but is ready to have kids and be a stay at home? Has a bachelor's degree and 60k debt for no reason – no job to pay off the debt and no use for the degree Has been with this poor man for 9 months, giving him what exactly? OP wants all the perks of being a stay at home wife and mother without being a wife or a mother – OP wants a sugar daddy 9 months, I repeat NINE MONTHS. OP shouldn't even be planning to have kids at this stage, and definitely not when they clearly aren't on the same page.
OP go get a job and stop being a low life. Can't complain about living in a shitty basement apartment on one person's wage and not contributing.
It’s not pointless to remind someone of that. I’m not responsible to include the perfect answer, just wanted to say something helpful.
Look, I guarantee you’ve been cheated on at some point in your life, and you have no idea
They don't believe anything OP says now.
From what I’m told, it’s common with men and women are trying to take it back because, ya know, time saver.
That being said I thought the ‘rule’ was that you don’t have sex with anyone if you’re still ‘dating’ other people. First base is max, at least that’s the agreement that seems to be the trend whenever I talk about it with people.
frankly she owed you nothing. now set your boundaries with her and if she agrees, then and only then does she owe you anything. it's ok to feel hurt by it but don't take it personal. it's not like you guys were even exclusive much less like you had been dating for years.
She has 2 male friends who I've never met. But she told me about those and I'm fine with that. I dod not know she was texting this guy. Is it not normal to ask myself questions about the situation mate?
Lol, you bought a house with her? Knowing she was a cheater who is into another guy?
What's wrong with you man.
This is going to be a nude lesson but you should try and learn something from it.
Wow, and you want to marry her? She's not good.
So you're trying to make this trainwreck work? Why? If 6months is enough to make you this devoted to an alcoholic who says absolutely disgusting things to you you're in for a lifetime of pain.
But you do realize he was playing you and the field and chose the field when he could sense your wanted to settle in?
No, you’re not able to validate yourself on your own. Don’t lie to yourself. He went a few hours without talking to you after a disagreement and you immediately seeking reassurance and validation from strangers on Reddit. It’s like a whole day after and you felt obligated to defend yourself and your relationship. Being attractive only provides a person with superficial forms of external validation. There are different types and you don’t seem to be able to do that for yourself going off this post.
You have made your SO responsible for your feelings. He has to watch his actions to make sure that he doesn’t do anything that makes you feel insecure. You may not perceive him to have to walk on eggshells but that’s exactly what you’re forcing him to do. So many red codependency flags being thrown of by you. That is called codependency and is unhealthy AF but you don’t seem to get that seeing as how you’re arguing for it. Good luck with the enmeshed relationship tho!
Excellent point! It sounds like her friends are more important than her bf. I remember a few weeks ago on a post one girl constantly did that to her bf, he planned a anniversary trip, she invited her friends without telling him until a few days before. He was going to propose he ended up not proposing, and leaving the trip early. He broke up with her when she got back from the trip. That's why it's a good idea for OP to set that as a boundary for any friends.
You made a pretty good judgment call in the heat of the moment. Stick with it!
Absolutely tell her. Wouldn’t you want to know?
I suggest you immediately ask her what the coworker specifically says about the book he gave her.
What part of her life interested him?
If it's royal's sex life, that is inappropriate. But do not react. Save your reaction for the big discussion.
Ask her what her opinion is (after she reads it). You read it too
Park this chat away until you read Not Just Friends. Buy used on Amazon.
Do not confront until you read the book (ideally her to). It's a path to have a civil constructive discussion.
And the book will avoid name calling (controlling or insecure). Yes it's name calling, unconstructive, and a major major communication fail.
It's fine to be jealous. It's a normal feeling and a compliment (unless you're jealous of everyone).
Admitting jealousy is emotional honesty which she should appreciate. Any problem you have is hers (and vice versa). You solve problems together.
I don't think she's cheating. But you do need to know what they have in common.
For example, him discussing his love life, or coworkers love life, or sexual moral philosophy of royals.
Knowing the topics will be critical when you read and discuss Not Just Friends.
Btw: you can casually ask if the coworker has a GF and Segway into whether he asks her advice about his love life.
Again don't react. Save it for after you read NJF.
The first time he did it without asking
That's rape.
but he kept bringing it up
This is coercion, trying to wear you down and could also be considered rape had it worked. At the very least it's harassment.
hours he did anal with me while I slept
This is also rape.
feel horrible doing this on his birthday but I feel terrible and I cried.
Who fucking cares that it's your rapist birthday. You owe him nothing except some criminal charges if you're so inclined.
I'm so sorry you've experienced this. I hope you don't have anymore direct contact with him and are able to find some healing for this situation, be if therapy or otherwise. I know it's cliche but I think this is just more evidence that people who pursue age gaps, even when over 25 are usually up to no good.