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Date: December 17, 2022
Yeah, but he changed his mind 3 months in. He's known this for 21 months. Almost the entire 2 years they've been together now. And she's been spending her time building a relationship with someone she THOUGHT was on the same page. But he's not…and he's had almost two years to tell her this.
If it doesn't work out between them, and marriage is a deal- breaker issue between them…then he's just wasted almost 2 years of her life on a mirage. THAT's what will feel like a lie. Holding back that information from her while they build a life together, for two years!… meanwhile he's hanging onto what could be a secret dealbreaker card. Surprise! Game over. Ouch.
I wish you both well, it's not a nice place to be in x
It’s time to have a conversation then. “I noticed you added pictures to your profile. I feel like we are at the stage where we should consider becoming exclusive with each other. I’m wondering if you are still looking to date other people right now?”
Document everything. Absolutely everything.
You gotta leave. You know in your heart he can't get better with you enabling him (i.e. putting up with his shit) and he straight up won't get better unless he wants to. If custody of the kids comes into question, you need proof that you are the main caregiver. Take photos when he passes out drunk. Keep a log of every time he fails his parental responsibilities. Record him when he gets violent.
I know what you're going through. You have to give yourself and your kids a better life because no one else will. You're a bad ass and you can do this.
We’re both mammals, it makes sense