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1. I understand you’re upset. But I’m not sure you articulated what it is you want to happen? Do you want your husband to put his foot down? Are you jealous the sis gets away with it? Are you looking at your husband with different eyes bcuz he lacks the spine to tell mom no? Are you upset with yourself for not putting your own foot down? How did this happen without your approval? And now your participation is taken for granted and as a given? Why didn’t you stop it? How did you not advocate for yourself? How are not doing it now? And why is their desire to have their home/mom cared for by someone they trust the most, coming off as them being cheap? Do you want to get paid? Did you/husband ask for temp resources (day-nurse; a dog walker; a gardener) to help out so you’re not taxed 24/7? Someone you can supervise/trust to do the work with minimal uplift from you two?

   As someone who comes from a family where looking after grandma/parents, mine or his in our home wouldn’t pain me. My acceptance of it being a given is explicit and was one of the pre-marriage conditions we negotiated. However you don’t have this same understanding. But you’re certainly doing much more than I’d ever be called to do, even with my expectation of it materializing in the future. So discuss it with him now. Tell what you want.

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