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DEREK AND ESTABAN, 32 y.o.
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Live! Live Sex Chat rooms DEREK AND ESTABAN
Date: December 20, 2022
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Thanks and I'm sorry about what happened to your high school sweetheart. He probably could benefit from therapy but knowing him, he has too much pride to admit it
Haven't read this thread yet but antidepressants aren't 'happy pills' like people make out they mellow all your emotions the good as well as the bad. My wife was on them before when we 1st met and we decided to ween her off them as she told me she doesn't feel anything when she knows she should and can't take it anymore. Sorry if this is off topic I just thought may help
You’re worried about the relationship? Nigga she just gave you herpes. Wake tf up. I swear someone of y’all are on a different planet
As the ex/baby mama of one ??♀️…I can confirm
Sounds to me like this is a personal problem for her. IMHO she sounds depressed and looking for a large bandaid. Maybe time for a Dr visit and a quick convo with the dr about all that. She might need some meds, balance out, and boom things seem happier all around for her!
ALSO (this is a big one) if you are this unhappy you need to tell her those big things are tabled for now. You need to let her know you just can’t move forward until some other things and feeling change
Anyone who isolates you is not a good person. Whether you stay or go, you need to go back and apologise and see if you can repair these old relationships whether she likes it or not.
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Absolute buffoonery on your end saying you would accept the responsibility when she was, ya know… literally getting fucked by somebody else.
Wow, the amount of people who see pro-life and pro-choice and don't read the rest is phenomenal here.
Sorry you guys are both going through this situation, regardless of other people's ideas on abortion it isn't actually the easy option. Firstly she won't actually know herself how you can help her, so my advice is to just be there. The weeks after the abortion coupled with breaking up and a move have the potential to screw with both of you.
Ask her how you can help but don't be overbearing and in her space constantly but also look after yourself as this isn't easy for you either. Good luck to you both.
This is so dumb. Unless she has a consistent habit of not following through on anything in her life or their relationship, this is just a control tactic to get her to lose weight for his gratification.
I care more about the sounds and enthusiasm than I do what they look like, obvious man with an obvious woman(felt like I needed to state that given the way Reddit has been lately)
When my husband injured his foot and had to have surgery I told everyone with a completely straight face that it was a sex injury.
lots of “straight” men cheat on their wives via grindr. i’m so sorry ?
Your girlfriend has the right to keep in contact with HER family if they were abusive, and I guess she has the right to be friends with whoever she wants, but not in the context of hurting you and messing with your relationship. I hate when people who've had a decent family life think their family is all families and bullheadedly jam their noses deep into trying to reconcile their partners' families when those families are not like theirs.
She does NOT have the right to bring your mom into your life against your will. Nor into your child's life. This would be an absolute deal-breaker to me.
Go to Survivinginfidelity, that sub will help you with your question. This sub will only tell you to break up
The time with him until now is not wasted. It is time that you have grown into the person you are now. It is time where you have learned what you want and need in a partner.
But OP, if you stay after this, that time will be wasted.
He is not going to change. He only admitted it because he was caught.
Was he going to tell you about the pregnancy? What if his AP decided to keep the baby – was he going to tell you then?
Leave him. Let him suffer the consequences of his actions and choices.
She’s being a jerk to you for no reason. You should’ve just told her to go be with one if them then right then and there.
You think you owe your sister an apology after her incredibly cruel “prank?”
Why is it time to go? I was asking for advice on how to set boundaries, not jump ship at the first opportunity. The relationship is otherwise good, as I mentioned in the post, I just asked for help with the specific situations I mentioned
The fact that she knows it's petty and is point scoring against her ex using the child is indeed a red flag and at 4 months in I would be running for the hills, because I can guarantee that you are going to be dragged into the drama at some point.
OP , 2 happy homes is better than 1 home full of resentment and mistrust.
Why was he interested in you to begin with? This isn’t a “why would a celebrity talk to YOU” question, I’m just curious if you have a hobby insta where maybe he loves what you’re doing and thinks it’s interesting.
Idk I’d use caution but also I don’t think I’d say no to a celeb either.
Or she needs someone to confide in.
Ummm… doesn't she already have a husband for that?
Why do you enjoy a woman being in pain or looking as if she is in pain? Might wanna touch on that
Thank you. I will do that.
He pushed you to have a child that you adamantly told him you didn’t want. You, against your better judgment, put your wants and needs aside to give him his dream of fatherhood and he agreed to not hold you responsible, but it sounds like he really thought that he could guilt you into changing your mind.
Your ex clearly got in over his head and didn’t think about his difficult it is to be a single parent. You shouldn’t feel bad for not wanting to be involved. Make sure to save any texts, emails or voicemails where you discuss this because legally, in most places, you can’t just “walk away.” Legally, he can most likely take you to court to force you to pay child support. It’s better to be over prepared than underprepared.
Thank you!!! I knew I’d find this comment. Spot-on.
Thank you!!! I was trying to figure out what that meant!
This! Most of the comments here are what the commenters would do (not that that's wrong). I love your perspective!
Send her family proof of her cheating and then change numbers.
Are you 23 or 32… Nevermind I saw another comment you’re 23.
Dude, saying this as another bisexual girl. Great that your wife is figuring out herself but attraction doesn’t mean you have to act on it. She’s just wanting permission to cheat and never intended for your side of the relationship to be open.
Given your ages, it’s pretty brow-raising honestly. She sounds predatory and manipulative. Might not be a deal breaker for you but I hope you take a step back and wonder if this is what you want for the rest of your life.
Are you 23 or 32… Nevermind I saw another comment you’re 23.
Dude, saying this as another bisexual girl. Great that your wife is figuring out herself but attraction doesn’t mean you have to act on it. She’s just wanting permission to cheat and never intended for your side of the relationship to be open.
Given your ages, it’s pretty brow-raising honestly. She sounds predatory and manipulative. Might not be a deal breaker for you but I hope you take a step back and wonder if this is what you want for the rest of your life.
Honey, this isn't your fault. Your BIL is a creep.
A good therapist can help you and your sister through this.
Your friend also needs help but you can't be responsible for saving her from this.
Have you talked to your parents about how you're feeling? Please be kind to yourself, you were children. Children are allowed to invite their friends over, this isn't your fault.
Why not ask them instead of speculating on what their preferences are to strangers on the internet with questions that treat all men as the same?
Hindsight is 20/20. If I were to do it again, I'd start with the most romantic pics we took and went from there.
And yeah, I was super confused about the brother situation. They seemed to be really close and thinking back on it, it might have been something they got a kick out of.
Absolutely tell her. I for sure know I'dwant to know if my partner was cheating. It's not even about revenge, just help another lady out to figure out the truth of the scumbag she's dating.
You’re looking into this too much. She very clearly told you she isn’t looking for anyone. She’s using the app for entertainment/confidence boosting, not legit searching.
She's enabling her relatives' bad choices. I get supporting your family, that's expected in a lot of cultures, but by your account, these people aren't doing anything to improve their situation, choosing instead to rely on the charity of others. What happens to them if your gf loses her job? Would they help her or would they find someone else to leech onto? Talk to your girlfriend, maybe seeing things from a different perspective would help. If this is her hill to die on, then she can get bent. Y'all aren't even married! Asking is okay, but you said no, that should've been the end of it. She's trying to manipulate you into a financial commitment that isn't and shouldn't be yours. Make it your hill to die on too because fuck that shit.
He can ask for communication but that doesn’t mean she owes it or owes an explanation for not wanting to communicate at certain times.
You need to watch yourself, how you go about things. She’s 19. You’re 19.
You need to watch yourself, how you go about things. She’s 19. You’re 19.
Thank you for your advice and your time. I will try to do my best to overcome those fears.
Op the way you word this you're trying to make this everyone's fault but your own.
You didn't learn from this.
You chose to keep drinking. Period. You're a big girl. You could've cut yourself off. You could've, at any point, chose to stop. Your friend is not responsible for you, nor is the bar tender. You made the same choice over and over in one evening.
Yes. You crossed a line and for him to go this far in his reaction tells me that not only does he think talking with you is pointless, this is the reaction of someone who is sick of arguing with someone who justifies being an ass and plays victim.
You're the bad guy. Do better.
Yes it will be considered weird & even suspect to ur gf.
That's like if ur gf had ur brother on snapchat but didn't tell u a thing.
Some thoughts would go thru ur mind too I'm sure.
I’m with camp rest restraining order. She is a thief of joy and can’t let her sister have someone without proving that she could take them away from her. The parents are likely to blame for the toxic competitiveness
A guy posted on here a few weeks back asking for advice on this same thing. Creative writing assignment perhaps?
But I just have a question are you not attracted to her at all? And maybe you should look into your standards. Not trying to be rude or anything but you said you’ve only found few women attractive in your life.
But I just have a question are you not attracted to her at all? And maybe you should look into your standards. Not trying to be rude or anything but you said you’ve only found few women attractive in your life.
give her space, your relationship with her is the last thing on her mind right now
give her space, your relationship with her is the last thing on her mind right now
Probably?
I told her how it makes me feel. One guy she told him she’s dating me and he’s still sending messages to her all the time and she from time to time responses to him. Another guy she haven’t responded to him yet and one guy she ignored and never talked to him but he sometimes text her.
If they are on reserve then I don’t feel good being in such a relationship where my partner hesitates in telling them that she’s taken and not interested if she doesn’t want to block
Strange question. Are you being unfair because you work more hours than him? How is that even a question. If he has an issue, tell him to get a second job.
It just seems like that's the only thing he does to help you. He's focusing on you making more than him but you make the same amount! I used to be jealous of my boyfriend's finances, when he got a newer Fitbit than me, when life went his way, etc. Honestly, I had a lot of growing up to do and I don't see things as a competition anymore. Your boyfriend, unfortunately, won't change for the better (at least not for a very, very long time). Are you sure this relationship is something you want to continue? I know rent is horrible everywhere, but do you have anyone you can stay with for a few days until you have a plan? Are both you and your boyfriend on the lease?
This is 100% true. I got divorced at 44 and my gyno urged me to get Gardasil. I finished the series at 45.5.
Maybe her current “vanilla-ness” is overcompensation for the shitty things she did.
I say go with your gut. Only you know her. A lot of replies here come with some degree of assumption and some come with projection.
However I do see some issues with the feelings she displayed about it toward you. Unfortunately, even though it’s going well on your end, a year just isn’t that long to get to know how someone really is and what they value. I’d also be kind of upset that it didn’t come out earlier but that alone wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for me.
I’ve known people who commit infidelity when they’re that young and never do it again. I was part of infidelity when I was 18/19 and now am disgusted at my younger self for it. Even if I weren’t married I’d never consider being part of it again.
Sorry for the “me” tangent but I want to illustrate that how she regards those actions now is more of a character indicator than what she did five years ago.
I don't know anybody else that I can contact to zsk about him znd ut'd making me very very anxious and worried.
Neither of you is ready for a relationship.
It's in her recent videos. She is muscular like today. Are you dumb or do you like pain?
That excuse for checking his phone seems suspicious to say the least.
Yea it’s been hard to completely understand what’s happening. I asked him if there’s someone else and he says there isn’t. I’ve been losing my mind over this bc he was all over me then suddenly nothing. And then he stops me from saying a lot of things to him and it’s just all so bizarre. I have been distancing myself from him but it sucks bc he’s back in town this week and I was looking forward to seeing him. So idk what’s happening anymore. It doesn’t make any sense how someone could be all over me nonstop to acting like this. And then I keep wondering what if there’s someone else and he isn’t telling me. I just don’t know if he’s trying to get over me bc we don’t online near each other I just don’t know anymore
Have you talked to him about it?
Then he is not for you if he can't help you out so you don't worry about finances so you can finish your schooling. He's not doing his part if in your culture the man pays for everything. What will happen once you marry him and have children? Are you still going to lie to your mother and tell her that he pays for everything? You are doing the right thing by moving back home. Once you are done with your studies and have a career you can meet and marry a man that's worthy of you. But first you need to realize your worth and leave him for good.
I agree,don't really get the big but thing myself. Years ago it was all about having a nice tight backside ,but I would go out with someone who had a larger arse ,in fact I married someone who had a larger backside . If this is why someone would pick ther partners God help them
That's not how healthy, long term relationships work. Like, sure it's technically her money. But, if you're serious with and ab someone, there is trust and communication.
If part of that is not to spend a bunch of money on the weekend, and then you go and spend a bunch of money during the week, you're just ignoring what the other person is in need of.
I don't think it's weird for people to have “me” time. It's important. Even when you're married.
But it seems they agreed to stop spending so much $ on drinking, and she's still spending some decent money on drinking.
They've either had sex or are currently having sex.
Relax, she just wants to throw him out an airplane and take his job.
Nah. Now it's time for a serious talk with him. Tell him plainly “I think you're cheating and it made me want to look through your phone. So either tell me what's going on or I have to end the relationship for my own peace of mind.”
If there is no trust, there is no relationship. Once you are ready to invade someone's privacy, it's time to leave.