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My post is quite incoherent. My apologies and thank you for your response.
I have told him that I don’t need solutions and that I just want his support and to feel heard.
However his body language is very cold and almost sighing. He makes comments like ‘what do you want me to do so you don’t kick off again’ ‘what do you need from me’ – the first statement upsets me, his dog about me kicking off puts a sour taste in my mouth. However I answer the question and I say I just want to be heard and reassured/talk through it.
I want to add that I never ‘kick off’, or raise my voice or shout. Kicking off to him is crying or getting visibly upset.
He hates giving reassurance, doesn’t believe it’s his job. I don’t ask for it a lot – as I believe it has to come from within, but it’s nice to hear it sometimes.