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JohnsonA, 20 y.o.
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Date: December 22, 2022
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Really? I was thinking of BASE jumping or drag racing or something. Because it was stupid and “potentially dangerous.” I could see how someone would have no problem staying in a relationship with a person who went to jail for something like that.
Embezzlement or messing around with money? Ehhh I feel like that’s more of a moral no-no and wouldn’t have someone willing to stay in a relationship.
OP—what did he do? I feel like your answers are going to vary widely depending on the answer. Depending how much time he gets, etc.
I was going to say “people in hell want ice water too.”
Putting aside the communication problems, maybe try explaining that having a stay at home parent eases the load for both parents. I’m a stay at home mom whose husband busts his ass at work. I had to work too for the first 6 months or so of our son’s life, and it really isn’t much less work outsourcing childcare because someone still has to clean the house, do the laundry, make the food, do the shopping, etc. The time away from the house is still working, PLUS someone has to get the kid(s) ready to go and actually shuttle them to where they need to be.
I’m a lot happier being a stay at home mom, my kid is benefiting from it, and my husband is happy because our life is stable and he always has food and laundry. We sacrifice some things, but it sounds like the BF thinks stay at home parents sit around all day. I don’t think the stay at home parent should do everything, but maybe have a discussion about a hypothetical division of labor in that circumstance, actually discuss the budget, etc.
This is one of those things that brings up major incompatibilities, though, and if having kids is important, both may need to find partners who are on the same page with them if some middle ground can’t be found.