![](/cs/camsoda2500.jpg")
0 views
Press right there to start video or
Room for on-line sex video chat Zoe_olsen
Model from:
Languages: en,es
Birth Date: 2003-03-02
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityLatino
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: December 28, 2022
So your injured and she's basily wants you out as she can't suck it up and care for her partner….
See it as a Christmas miracle in disguse
Dating parents is exhausting
I've tried it a few times
Its sometimes great but I feel the cons out weigh the pros, your expected to behave like a patrnt, pick them up from school, pay for them like spend an extra 40 on food, birthday presents ect but you also have no authority over them as “your not their dad so you can't disapline my kids” BS
I think as your in a bad place the
My girl and I are amazing together… normally.
Is a story you wish was real
You can seriously do better than her
Let her have this “break”
And class it as a break up snd focus on yourself
Move in with family and focus on yourself getting better both mentally and physically
It's going to be very hot but you worth so much more than to be a free babysitter and coz your unable to “provide” she's tossed you aside so easily
If you get back together your an idoit
Your only 40 and there's plenty of fish in the sea
I truly believe you can get better, be in a better place instead of that toxic household and find someone who isn't going to dump you so easily
Good luck
Remember
You matter
You are important
And you can do and be better
You are not the problem
Should you be concerned with the fact that your wife is openly and flagrantly emotionally cheating right in front of you with no remorse? Why yes, yes you should.
I can understand where you’re coming from, but that’s not your problem. If her dad blames you for her moving back in with them due to her mental health, that’s his issue.
I think you should probably have a good think about what you will and won't tolerate yourself in the relationship and have an actual conversation with your partner.
If you aren't comfortable dating someone who is heavier or who isn't interested in fitness or who drinks too much etc. Then that's fine. You are allowed to break up with her.
If you can accept her anyway then fine, you can stay with her and accept her boundaries.
That being said if you are genuinely concerned about her health then tell her that. Ask her if she's concerned about her weight or not, and about her health. If she is happy and you are happy then leave it. If she's worried ask how you can support her to do things differently.
At the end of the day you might just be incompatible in the relationship. It's not a bad thing, just be fair with her if you break up and explain you feel like you have different goals and wants in life and you think you'd both be better finding more compatible partners.
Also as someone who's weight fluctuates a lot… if I gain weight and someone tried to tell me to eat less or exercise more, it actively discourages me from doing it. If I want to lose weight then its when I'm good and ready and nothing to do with anyone else.
Honesty is the best policy. Let her know you’re not going to “come around”. It’s only fair. One of two things will happen. She’ll leave you or decides to stay in the relationship under those terms. Everyone here is a consenting adult. If you oppose marriage… well, don’t get married.
I'm sorry but how does getting married to the person you intend to never break up with hinder you in any way? I don't get this perspective.
A month is not a lot of time to get over someone, toxic or not; but toxic relationships do tend to take a bit longer, since you grow accustomed to the anxiety.
Look, man, if it was that bad, you probably had some maladjustments beforehand. Healthy people walk from toxic relationships, you stuck around until she left you. You know the answer is to get professional help to process a whole lot more trauma than just what you got from her.
Well this is entirely up to you and you have to weigh your life with a stranger vs becoming estranged from your parents – not a happy choice, especially at 20. Part of why they push you are this age is because you are more dependent and immature. If they tried this at 25 you might tell them to fuck off. I think you should insist that you can't decide until you have at least met this dude and had several conversations with him. Agreeing site unseen seems like a recipe for disaster.
If you really aren't ready then think about how you can say no and still on-line your life – again really hot decisions to make when you should be studying and hanging out with your friends.
Almost had a hold the phone cord mom
Kind of moment
I like that the grandma made sure everyone got a toy instead of just 1 person. I think she is quite generous.
This is so beautiful?❤️ Healthy communication, gentleness and honesty bring me such joy!
Playfully annoying your partner is always fun, but when they start crying, it’s time to stop. (Technically it was time to stop before they started crying because it shouldn’t get to that point, but once the crying starts, that’s about as clear of a sign as can be that you’ve gone too far). As someone else said, he fucked around and he found out. Don’t feel too bad about it.
The thing is he lied to you, kept it a secret after the first time you asked him to stop.
He lied to you again when he said let him hang out one more time and smoke with her, and then he will tell her, and he didn't.
He slept with his phone so you couldn't get it. Which is a major red flag. He is cheating on you and I guarantee you in more than just emotionally.
Spending hours and hours with someone smoking, and not doing anything else. Yeah I don't believe it.
He is taking her on dates, theme parks, beach, out to eat, etc. And you are allowing it.
He is trying to guilt you, because you want him to stop having anything to do with her.
He has shown you time and again, that he cares more about her, than you. And you keep letting him.
I honestly don't think therapy is going to work. I think once the therapist agrees with you, he will get mad and quit going.
If it was me in your situation, he would already have divorce papers, I would already have half the joint account, in a account of my own, and I would be moving out of the house.
There would have been no second chances after the first time. Once I told him once how I felt, and asked him to stop, and he didn't, that would have been the last.
I would have also made sure that I told this girl that she was free to have him, and I hope she has better luck with him, than I did, as he is a cheater. I would also report it to their employer that they sit outside in the parking lot and smoke weed. I don't know to many businesses that would be ok with that.
Then I would walk away and let his world implode around him.
Hello /u/bigpoopblocker,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I know 🙁
Hello /u/Thrwaway32596,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Oh, well, I'm seeking better therapy
In a perfect world where knowlege was shared freely, sure. But when education costs 10s of thousands of dollars and sends people into debt, you have to consider if those sacrifices will ever be returned. Not to mention that some people put sweat, blood, and tears into getting their degree because they're dreaming of the career they'll have and the things they'll use that knowlege for. I hate school and it wrecks my mental health, but I do it anyway because I know the things I learn will make me better and more useful to my clients. The thought of giving up my career and never helping a single person with the things I learned in school would be devastating, because the entire reason I'm putting all that time, misery, and money into my education is for them. It would be a waste, because however much I value knowlege for its own sake, I don't value it more than the things I've sacrificed for it.
This is a deeply personal decision. I pray that you don't do anything that you will regret. Adoption is always an option. You have to figure this out for yourself.
Hello /u/Peachy_Day,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/Haleichaos,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Of course, you feel very hot for her. She was vulnerable barely out of high school and pliable. What is not to love. It has been one month and it was a really inappropriate relationship anyway just let go and move on let her have her own life.
If you want to work and want to have children, you’ll need to re-think the relationship.
If you don’t mind not working outside the home, you’re in great shape.
If you like him, ask him out. If you don't, do nothing. Why overthink this.
Yeah listen man, she did this before you got together and even though that is a personal big red-flag for myself, it does not have to be yours.
Did she communicate that fact before you got together or did you just find out? It matters.
This relationship is cooked. You guys are bludgeoning each other with words during a fight. You’re not trying to solve an issue you’re deliberately saying and doing things to hurt the other. That’s toxic and from personal experience not something that’s easy at all to come back from, even if you wanted to.
And I don’t think either one of you really does. But in your case, why would you even want to come back?
Contact the dating site and tell them you did not give permission to have a dating profile made for you with your information and you want it taken down.
At this point don't worry about hurting their feelings. They obviously didn't worry about yours when they created that dating profile. Stand up for yourself and tell them that was unacceptable and to stay out of your private life or they'll find they won't be a part of your life at all.
Hahaahah, yes it is
The fact he called to try to confirm tells me that she knew it wouldn’t take that creative of a lie to trick him.
it says they split bills 50/50, where did you get rent free from?
Nooooooo. Bad idea. Bad.
Hello /u/stoplockingmeout,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/CollegeStudentTrades,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
So I’m angry bc I felt like she was choosing them over all night like she was more concerned about them not being alone or not having a good night than me when I was doing everything to try to make us have a good night as well. Now I’m not saying she’s completely in the wrong n im completely in the right, we both fucked ip. But that’s what I was feeling when it came to her n what was hurting me.
As far as escalation it was jus bc of yelling like I started yelling n then she did n ya know. I grew up ima household w a ton of yelling so when it happens I hate it more than the average person. We also never yell at each other which is why I say it escalated a lot
You go to the court first and ask for a protective order and child support. He is abusive and you need to be safe from his abuse. When he goes to the court and tries to get the child taken from you then it's obvious retaliation and you can prove that you provide a safe home without him. I recommend that you talk to your friends and family and have a few people who are ready to tell the court all about what a great mom you are and how abusive he is.
Yeah he sounds like he really wants her to experience life more and cares about her having fun and a life of her own.
I’ve literally got nothing. I’m always too wordy and intense lol ?
We barely know each other. One actual date.
I don’t know..
“Hey, I realized that in the short time that I want to get to know you more. If you are interested in getting to know me better then hit me up if you’re ever in town or moved back”
Hello /u/TjalliBrown,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
At your age, it's quite normal to explore new directions. I won't tell you stay or go, but I think it's not wrong if you want to go. It will hurt for both of you though, that's how breakups work.
I’ve read about this – it is not uncommon. What does your obgyn advise to help? Physiologically you may be normal, but the discomfort is real. Assuming a battery of STI tests came back negative, I’d think your dr needs to revisit this topic with you.
Throw away the whole man. The entire fucking man. He’s holding his own affection as hostage, not to mention lying to you, that’s just some bullshit right there. He’s controlling, extremely insecure (which is okay if a person understands it and works to make it better, not to blame it on their partner) and well, just cruel. Ruthless back of dicks is not a good place to start a relationship. If you continue with him, he will circle back around to be somehow destructive the next time he feels insecure.
To the trash he goes.
Hello /u/Kadeo13,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You spelt ex girlfriend wrong.
He did cheat. Being separated doesnt mean not married… he chose to go out and have sex w people who were not you. U did nothing…. this is his fault.
Mate, she met your dad and she's seen the future.
Sorry, I know you're hurting. At this point, all you can do is hope for the best, while preparing for the worst.
Hello /u/Old-Understanding730,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
This friendship has weathered quite a bit. Maybe it is useless but what kind of friend would I be if I didn't try to reach them?
She still trusts my opinion a lot so I have some hope
Can't you live with your Mum, he sounds like a nightmare
Hello /u/Medical_Long295,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You shouldn't have done what you did, sure.
Now you have the chance to do things differently: pack your things and leave. Or pack his things and kick him out, if the house is yours.
You have a history of abusive relationships, so you still stay with an abusive guy, because you think his behavior is justifiable. It's not. Get out of this situation before he really hurts you. Yes it will happen. Not may, will.
He’s too immature and wrapped up in his own addiction to be in a relationship. Cut your losses and find someone better for a relationship.
I hope he gets clean, but you don’t need to be a part of it or his life. You deserve better.
You can’t stop her. Why don’t you want her to do this? How is it any different to your current situation where you hardly see each other?
After 3 years you two should be seeing each other more frequently than maybe once a month or maybe only every 3 months. Even school kids in their first teen romance see each other more often than that!
You are never going to have a proper adult relationship until you move on to the next stage. Most couples are moved in and talking about marriage by now.
You sound like you want to stunt her growth and keep her hanging on never doing anything new and exciting until you decide she can do something. That’s unhealthy and ridiculous.
She’s from NY their cool down period is 9 months. Here it’s 6. If they aren’t fighting the divorce then he should, by now, be divorced for the last 3/4 months. From the sound of what op knows wife isn’t fighting this, so it begs the question: is he really divorcing her? I wonder if they are reconciling or he has more than one mistress. If no one is trying to save the marriage and the assets weren’t mentioned and he hasn’t spent the night at her house more than a handful of times tells me he isn’t being truthful with anyone
Nah, I need to make sure you are understanding this. The power and maturity imbalance between you and your creepy ass wife when y'all met was extreme. She knew you would be an easy target to baby trap, and that's exactly what she did. She didn't see a super mature 18 year old that was so much more advanced mentally that people her own age didn't seem good enough, she saw an easy moldable target that she could trap young and change into what she wanted you to be. She stole your entire 20's from you. Your child will learn from what he sees, and he is going to grow up seeing you break your back to be the sole earner and never have 'enough' time for him and he's going to see a relationship that tells him that it is acceptable at nearly 30 to target a literal teenager to play create a partner with. Either way, that's a terrifying thing for a child to learn. He will either grow up and think “well mom found dad when he was 18 and that's cool” and end up targeting a teen himself or he will be susceptible himself to someone grooming and targeting him.
Is that what you want your child to learn?
Hello /u/Living-Treacle7283,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Thats not it at all. What she did was wrong.
However that does not excuse OP from his actions.
She probably had suspicions and wanted to get clarity rather than think its all in her head or just be left in a state of wondering. Its not always about looking for an out. Some people can't just leave. Some people need that proof. If she saw nothing, then yeah she is 100% at fault. But she saw evidence that confirmed suspicions. No it doesn't take away from what she did at all. But at least she was able to see the scummy behavior with her own eyes.
I understand what you said, but if we had been able to find a compromise wouldn’t that make it better over time? Or is this a bigger issue than I realize that would have kept persisting in other ways? I have a naked time with relationships altogether so I’m kind of at a loss on what I can do in the future to work through issues.
I mean… Jason Kidd is pretty light skinned
Hello /u/RevolutionaryLink512,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Odd that he's even concerned about it. Narcissists tend to think they're infallible. You're going to have to coach him through it. Get a parenting book as reference so it doesn't seem like everything is coming from your perspective.
Thank you for the lore. I hope you’re happier nowadays
Hello /u/ThatDystopianSociety,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I feel your insecurities are playing with your head. Your sister lives abroad and will nor be in any contact with him. She is however a flirt and the rest of the family was correct on commenting on her behavior.
Right now I do not feel that your boyfriend has done anything that seems that he is attached to her either.
All that said – you should at a later stage discuss your expectations with your boyfriend on his behavior. There is nothing wrong in pointing on that it can be hurtful when girls flirt with him even though it is your own sister! Wait at least some months and see how things develop. Keep an eye if they are communicating on social media BUT do not do it in an obsessive way.
Again I think you are wrong – they are not attracted to each other – she sound like a flirt and he should have taken one step away.
Hihi. Amongst the poly community this toxic combination is known as a thing called a “one penis policy” and “unicorn hunting”
It’s considered to be pretty homophobic (same sex relationships aren’t REAL / threats) and toxic due to the couples generally discarding the women they pick up when convenient
Poly people despise this arrangement usually
Nah. I had my kids start doing chores as soon as they could walk.
So, do you consider all friendships emotional cheating? Or is it just with women…
Because to me, it sounds like he just made a friend…
We tried that too and the iPad.
I can't ban the show just because I don't like it.
His mom died
How exactly are you going to sit here and write so many clear warning signs it could be depression and say “it’s not depression from what I can tell” Moved far from everyone she knows and is familiar with Lost interest in everything she loved Lost interest in maintaining her appearance Gained a lot of weight Has even lost interest in family (toxic or not) Lost ambition …. Maybe urge her to try therapy to figure out why and to gain some skills to cope. On the flip, you do not have to stay with someone or fix someone who won’t fix themselves. That’s not fair to you.
It’d be fine if she only gained 60lbs tho…
UpdateMe!
I actually felt like I was reading a letter from my penis
Hello /u/Putrid-Apple3096,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
She called me crying and begging to not look at the test when it comes
He sent me an e-transfer with my email a couple years ago so I guess he just still has it. All he needed was my email. I had auto deposit on until I figured out how to turn it off today.
My god. What a very hot thing to go through. I am so sorry.
What he suggests benifits him. You're both smart people. You should be able to create a prenup that is dair for both people.
If he doesn't care about the risk or sacrifice you're making, that could be a pretty big red flag. Both people need to compromise and if he can't, he's not a good partner.
I think all men cheat. Or that's what I've experienced.
You need to work on your self confidence and work on the type of men you're associating with.
>I’ve never really been romantically or sexually attracted to her, but she’s really sweet and a genuine person
Romantic and sexual attraction is vital for a successful relationship. You don't have it. You two don't click. Break it off, don't try to force it.
Hello /u/heberchacon,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/my_throw_away135,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
He’s a lawyer and he loves you, but he is offering no monetary compensation for your time off work being a stay at home mother? How does he not understand how unfair this is to you?
Don’t sign it unless you make the stipulation that you will not be a stay at home mother and a nanny would be a joint expense. Or he gives you at least 75% of your salary each year that you are home, in an account he can only deposit in, not withdraw.
Considering a boob job is something that should only come from you and even then. My girlfriend has alot complexes about her boobs (after the birth off our daughter) and asks me for years now if she needs to do a boob job. I hate it when she asks me that question and after all these years i still give her the same answer. If she's so unhappy about it than its up to her but she doesn't need to do it for me (even though i like boobs too but never said that to her because she would consider it even more than). It's her body and there are still some risks attached doing something like that. After all why take risks when you got a healthy body? So if OP if you are unhappy about it you are the only one to decide about it. Your boyfriend is an asshole for asking you something like that!
thank you, it’s just sad to see how this is how it played out in the end
Hello /u/DustofFog,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I'm not actually playing games, it's just that it's been years since the last relationship I had so I don't know how to approach him properly, so I decided not to approach him at all. I mean I reciprocate his initiative, I think? But people who knows that I have feelings for him told me that I treat him the same way I treat everyone else and they didn't expect that I have feelings for him because I'm a fairly affectionate person to the people around me whether it be friends, coworkers, leaders, etc, so idk… I don't want to seem too eager but I guess all it did is making him confused. Plus, I might have done something to upset him the night I got assigned to the project but it's another story… He shouldn't have ignored or be an inconvenience to anyone when it comes to work related stuff.
Tbh the reason why I posted it here is because there will be an evaluation for this whole event soon and I wonder whether I should apologize to him publicly, just to smooth things out within the team. And if I do have to, what should I apologize for? My supervisor knows about the whole social media fiasco and he actually said that it's fine.
No hate on her nor you. The thing is it's not about you. She's had dreams before you were in the picture, and although the idea of being so in love that the only dreams that exist are with each other sound beautiful, it's not healthy nor reality. You both are so young and as great love is, now is the time to explore and learn about oneself and gain independence. That's what she's doing.
Now there is nothing wrong with having a long distance relationship if your both comfortable- within limits. Don't wait forever.
But, there's also nothing wrong with breaking up. It's a long time. And your both still young, and a year isn't long enough to say you're committed for life.
It's what your comfortable with. You need to think about it but it sounds like your not that comfortable with the situation.
I am really sorry about your husbands behavior. Those poor girls are so lucky to have you. I know you must be exhausted. He doesn’t have to understand the problem with his behavior, he just needs to respect you enough to listen to you and his girls enough to act like a parent.
She has never had PIV before, and she is afraid that her periods would be heavy, and it would cause her more cramps and associated things. That’s all she says.
Hello /u/SA6K0U,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/hankqueensmustache,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
It doesn't sound like you two are a match to me. Definitely ask her what her love language is. That's the only way to cater to her in the way she needs.
Thank you for your response.
I was seeing a therapist but unfortunately they stopped accepting my health insurance and I have not been able to find a good replacement yet. The therapist I did have was great and helped me a lot.
I really don’t want to be controlling, so I don’t want to make him stop being friends or anything. It’s very hot for me to express it, it really does create a mess of anxiety for me.
I mean…. not orgasming during sex shouldn't be normal. That isn't a satisfying sex life. With that being said not achieving orgasm from penetrative sex is extremely common and normal. However, that doesn't mean that through every single sexual encounter you do not achieve orgasm. Why aren't you also stimulating the areas in which allow you to achieve orgasm? That can be done during penetrative sex. You can also begin or follow up penetrative sex with non penetrative to achieve orgasm. Being ok with never finishing is weird.
Do you normally equate sex with love like that? There are hundreds of reason a guy his age is going through something like this. Have you tried a medical opinion yet?
Sure, after he gets his chest implants
You really think he's lying? That's a huge worry for me, that I'll get hurt because he isn't being honest
TLC – Unpretty
You seem like a placeholder.
It’s a sentimental statement. Doesn’t mean he want u back
Hello /u/urged_rl,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Wait. Kinda found the comment that explained it:
Age doesn't matter to me; what matters is personality and compatibility
Seems reasonable, no?
Thank you, this was actually helpful.
Lied about his age.
Keeps making excuses not to meet.
He sounds married to me.
Hello /u/hyprfu,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
That alone is enough reason to breakup. Your partner should bring you good vibes, not anxiety.
Don't fall for the sunk cost fallacy.
Is you see no reason nor effort on her part to remedy this and actually improve, then you're doomed to face more situations of the sort, that'll only further erode your trust in her.
She comes from a dysfunctional household. It has affected her in more ways than she might actually realize.
She needs therapy.
Why do all these good guys get shitty women and my husband won't even take out the trash without nagging and fighting? ?
Man leave her and find someone else. Some woman will be thrilled to have you
Yikes… seen this a few times. I wouldn’t allow this behavior any further if I were you. If he can’t stop himself then it’s going to ruin the relationship for sure. Dude needs to think about flowers or something nice when he starts thinking about you with other partners.
Even I am bothered about that tbh now
I had actually told him calmly that I didn't like when he said this before. Then a couple of months went by and he said it again. And this time I got emotional and tried to tell him why I didn't like it. Tried to explain why and I started crying, it was making me emotional talking about it. He doesn't seem to understand why saying such a thing would make me upset. And this is what I don't understand… I don't get it….
Hello /u/pandanmilkbread,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Just ask her
75% of women can't orgasm from penetration alone. Why isn't your boyfriend trying other means of stimulation to get you to finish? Or does he think his dick is magic because other women lied to him?
In my experience of having multiple friends in their early twenties, when dating someone with more than 10 years older, it is often toxic. Maybe 30 and 40 is not a big deal but 20-30 is. It always start with the love bomb, luxurious trip,flowers, bags. Than the mask slipped off…
In my experience of having multiple friends in their early twenties, when dating someone with more than 10 years older, it is often toxic. Maybe 30 and 40 is not a big deal but 20-30 is. It always start with the love bomb, luxurious trip,flowers, bags. Than the mask slipped off…
In my experience of having multiple friends in their early twenties, when dating someone with more than 10 years older, it is often toxic. Maybe 30 and 40 is not a big deal but 20-30 is. It always start with the love bomb, luxurious trip,flowers, bags. Than the mask slipped off…
He just wants to screw around whilst you are waiting at home for him to come back, I wonder how he'd feel about you also getting the “college experience”. I'm guessing some BS about how it's not the same, or something insulting about “ruining your vagina”?! Break up, let him have the college experience but absolutely do not get back with him
I am not sure this even is a red flag. It shows that he cares about a person even without being in a relationship with her. He seems to have a good heart. He will need to set clear boundaries with her for his own good and stick to them. She needs to learn to rely on her own friends and family and not the ex-BF. This is a process that both need to actively carry out. A red flag is something that should be followed by a break-up and the term gets thrown around way to casualy.
How is writing a few sentences on a piece of paper once a year “more than he his giving his current relationship”??
For someone to go from largely straight A’s to getting a D is a pretty big deal. And if the only change your dad is aware of is this new boyfriend then while correlation may not equal causation, it’s pretty reasonable for him to make the correlation that you’re not focused on your studies due to boyfriend.
If your dad won’t find out, I suppose you could keep seeing BF but 5 mos isn’t a long time and you’d probably be smart not to jeopardize yourself financially by disobeying.
He definitely betrayed his dead wife. Or do you think she would be happy to know that just 6 months after he death two ppl she loves and trusts most hooked up. And no, this shit isn’t a normal reaction. You all are just trying to normalize it.
you sleep without underwear?
Without clothes
Just my naked self in my cozy bed as god indented.
Thank you for the advice friend. I'm going to speak with her at the next opportune moment (she lives with her mother – and I'd rather not do this with her mother present). I had hoped to spend the rest of my life with her, but I can't see anyway forward from this.
Your relationship is a toxic mess and you need to end it. You both sound abusive and nasty to each other.
You knocked your daughter over when you were in a rage. Shame on you.
He sounds depressed, lazy, addicting to gaming, unhealthy lifestyle or all of the above. It’s way to early for him to just give up on himself and your relationship like that. My husband is more than 20 years older than yours and we are always traveling, partying, eat meals out, and do lots of fun things together.
Ok we can throw around terminology all we want but the man straight up admitted he wants to fuck minors. Defining it however we want, the dudes a blatant predator
Just say that you appreciate him flattering you, but you love your husband and so you could never do anything that would hurt him. I would definitely ask husband this question as well just in case there is anything he knows about the uncle that could help soften the blow while also being direct.
She’s just expecting me to manage to live with the fact that two random, shallow guys with no other attribute than being hard, got to fuck her at once.
And that is an entirely reasonable expectation. This is her past. You had nothing to do with it, and there is nothing wrong with it. It is solely your responsibility to manage your insecurities about your girlfriend having a past – not hers, in any way, shape, or form.
It would be a lot easier to accept that my GF did certain things if I also get to reap the benefits of being with a “vivid” person.
Your views on this relationship are utterly alarming. You're trying to foist responsibility on your girlfriend for your anxieties, you “probed around” to find out private information about the past she had before she event met you, you're upset she turned down your offer for a threesome, and you're completely objectifying her.
Your girlfriend is a human being, not a conduit for your desire to engage in sexual experimentation to alleviate your own insecurities.
She doesn't want a threesome and has made that abundantly clear. She did not give consent, and it is concerning that you can't accept that.
This is a “you” problem. Frankly, I don't think you should be in a relationship until you work on yourself.
Your sister is lost and scared in her own mind. She is afraid of exactly what she needs because her mental illness is confusing her.
Thank you for this
No AH's here, and I have sympathy for both of you. Was this an ultimatum or a poorly handled boundary? It is extremely difficult to deal with a close family member who suffers from severe illness, and it is entirely reasonable for your gf to choose not to want to do so for the rest of her life. (Hint–your life will never be “stable” as long as your family members' psychiatric needs are poorly met.) While she may have gone about it in a not-so-good way, your gf is actually behaving responsibly. If your mother is also mentally ill and homeless, she will not be able to support your sister in what's ikely to be an extended period of instability, and you also need to decide if YOU are able to continue your present level of assistance for an indeterminate amount of time. I recommend involving a community agency or social worker to arrange your sister's affairs and treatment so that you aren't the only one responsible for her welfare.
Why are y’all dating when you clearly don’t like eachother…?
How long have you been dealing with this?
Not a medical professional, but she sounds psychotic. She enjoys and gets off on making you uncomfortable. This is not normal.
Eww why would you want to date a sentient bag of trash?
What do you mean?
It's a bit different when the person saying it doesn't have a dick to suck, and thus there's no conflating the insult to a sex act…unless your sex relations involve him ever sucking on a strapon dildo.
No, don’t see him. This changes nothing, he is still married with a baby on the way. You now know the truth so anything you do here on out with him you will be guilty of.
If he insists tell him he’s only allowed to come over if he brings his wife. Don’t be that woman…
If you don’t address this in the moment, this imo looks like a recipe for disaster.
I would at least try to casually suss out if anybody else had similar suspicions to me.
And I would also confide in a friend, because they likely have a better understanding and knowledge of all the players here. But also so that friend can substantiate that this was a concern now, and not some thing that you unfoundedly come up with in the future. And discuss it via text or voice note. To note the time and everything so you have evidence, ask friend to screenshot.
Then if you feel that over the next few months this isn’t something you have to worry about, great! But if there is anything fishy going on, it’ll definitely come to light relatively easily considering your sister doesn’t on-line in the country.
These discussions are so pointless. It's great that you don't shower every day. This girl doesn't AND OP says she smells. So, the OP's partner is different to you. It's not a problem for you because you don't smell. All cool. The game changes when someone actively smells bad.
Time to move on without him. His views and the way he handled the argument are misogynistic and he will likely get worse not better. I hope you can heal from this, and find a guy who respects you. That's what love is: respect. Hugs.
Honestly, yes I do.
I don’t see what’s inappropriate about that at all.
The Warning Sign rate.
How? They know nothing
She kept you around because you are safe and familiar. Now that something else came along she's putting you on will continue to be her back up. She probably doesn't care nearly as much for you as you do for her.
Its not her choice if you move on, that's 100% up to you. Cut ties and begin the next chapter of your life.
Of course anesthetics are drugs. What do you think turbo is not understanding about them?
I am black she is fine tell her to tell them to fuck off
He might fix your money problems in the short run but he won't fix the depression and if you aren't attracted to him then the relationship isn't likely to work out long term
If you can't move out, you will just have to comply. It won't be that very hot to make your room a no-trash zone. When you have trash, throw it away in the general house garbage. And then you can answer any trash question with “no trash here”. It sucks, but she has the upper hand.
Lol you are off your rocker! Do you hear yourself?!
You are so insecure & jealous you suggested that everyone gets a work phone so he doesn’t have to contact her?!
There is so much wrong with this.
She's obviously chasing him. But it seems like he's been doing everything right, refusing to give her rides or have dinner together, and showing you their chats on top of all of that.
You are right not to trust her, but to not trust your boyfriend after all this is a you problem. And I don't blame him for not wanting to deal with that when he's been nothing but open with you.
Therapy to work on jealousy issues for your next relationship.
Your girlfriend doesn’t have a tan. She’s blackfishing. Idc about the character, she’s an ass for darkening her skin to that extent.
It’s fine and completely platonic.
She tried to get you tried as a rapist, and caused GBH to you, what are you thinking lmao
Imagine your sister/close female friend’s boyfriend hit her over the head with a vase and caused her to bleed. What would you tell them? Ditch this bitch.
30F? Grow up
Oh barf. Don't know how I missed that. Insecure and racist, what a combo.
He broke up with you over it because he wants to date her instead. She shouldn't be texting him whenever
Didn't think I'd ever have to defend Jessi of all people. Hip Hop hasn't been an exclusively black people thing for literal decades I dunno why the fuck you would call K-Hop Hop full of appropriation which it isn't. It's literally music which is meant to be shared. Are we gonna do Music genre apartheit now? Also Jessi is naturally darker skinned she is Korean. Koreans have golden skin tones and all the images and videos of kpop idols you see on-line are whitewashed and very obviously so. Yeah she's doing lip fillers but everyone does that these days because juicy lips are a beauty standard. She is also doing a bunch of other plastic surgery and is very open about it all. Not saying she is or isn't trying to “look black” but I'm saying that most normal people who don't wanna see racism in everything probably wouldn't see her look as trying to “blackfish” whatever the fuck that means. Such an American thing is2g. Creating problems where there are none. Also blackfishing in Korea or any asian country is about the most counter productive shit anyone could do. The industry is racist and colorist as fuck. Celebrities constantly get bullied by Korean netizens because their natural skin is too dark, thus the aforementioned whitewashing.
As for OP your girlfriend is fine. She does not owe any sort of explanation to this Friend of yours. Your friend on the other hand, dumb as hell. Stop hanging out with toxic people who try to ruin everything they touch and try to police other people's behavior, interests and hobbies. While you're at it stop talking to people that think that cultural appropriation is anything other than cultures claiming certain things from another culture as their own. And by “claiming it as their own” I mean “Japan claiming Kimchi was invented in Japan and is a Japanese dish” and not “Some Non-Black celebrity was wearing their hair in dreadlocks once” or “Some white girl wore a Qipao to her prom”
It depends on what you’re texting. Is it complaining? Is it about school? Is it a meme? Maybe she feels like it’s not important enough to get back to. I have a friend at the moment who is constantly complaining and it’s very naked to be around her. The constant whinging is exhausting so I’ve been taking longer and longer to get back to her. It’s always the same issue, yet this person doesn’t ask me about my day, work, how my family is, etc.
So, instead of saying “hey this shit is exhausting” I just give short responses. I love her but, honestly, it’s also her job to “read the room”.
Recently I visited her and she finally said “I’m sorry I sound like I’m complaining all the time”. I didn’t say “it’s okay”, I said “yeah I know it’s been hard for you, lately”.
What's he waiting for?
That's really not a harmless joke. Especially given the context.
So, his friend shows up dressed up, probably feeling himself, and your response is to make fun of his height to ruin his mood? Why did his height even matte? And why did you thing making fun of him was a good idea?
You honestly need to grow up and do better in the future. I fully understand your bf dumping you over making fun of his friend for something he can't control
Yeah my first thought was that OP might be doing this whole asleep and not realize. But OP's boyfriend still reacted poorly. You could talk it over the next day and laugh it off, or maybe suggest asking a doctor for advice of how to prevent this. But if my boyfriend ended up doing this in his sleep, or even while awake, I would never make him sleep on the couch for it. Big red flag imo.
The need for validation is extremely high – wanting/needing to be posted and/or thirst traps lol
She cheated on you, and it sounds like she's cheated before. That's why you feel emasculated.
If my wife was hours late getting home from work, I'd have been panicked. Did you know she was staying late? The fact that she didn't get home until the following morning without telling you is also pretty sketchy.
Don’t let yourself be abused. She’s not going to just stop.
You're not sure if that's the reason though. You're just judging her without asking. Obviously nobody wants their partner to completely hide their existence, but there are so many possible reasons that she runs her social media like that. As other people said, the guy maybe just wanted privacy. She told you she was in a relationship back then so what do you think she is hiding exactly?
Have you ever read their interactions? Could he be having at least an emotional affair with her?
The question I would ask first is “Has she asked you to specifically wear this kind of underwear and has she ever expressed an interest in it?”
If not, I'd go for a expensive pair of designer trunk style underpants and hit her up while you're in a suit – or something tailored that involves good fitting pants and a nice crisp white shirt with rolled cuffs. And I'm not talking stripper pants or shirt. Just good, smart, well fitted, clean and crisp clothes.
Yup. Either way, if she wants to be with him, definitely shouldn't go to the party where:
Her ex is having likely the most influence (atleast that's how it sounds like and I wouldn't be comfortable with her going there even if the ex wasn't from the same college) On top of that, people they know who are going are very much disrespectful (? I dunno if that's the right word but they definitely are hostile towards him in a sense) towards the “significant other” of hers. Idc if she's in good terms with both sides, she needs to choose. Can't have your cake and eat it etc etc.
Yup. Either way, if she wants to be with him, definitely shouldn't go to the party where:
Her ex is having likely the most influence (atleast that's how it sounds like and I wouldn't be comfortable with her going there even if the ex wasn't from the same college) On top of that, people they know who are going are very much disrespectful (? I dunno if that's the right word but they definitely are hostile towards him in a sense) towards the “significant other” of hers. Idc if she's in good terms with both sides, she needs to choose. Can't have your cake and eat it etc etc.
She oddly admitted to her boyfriend that she had a sexual dream about a guy that she regularly talks to
he was sexually assaulting you. why do you want to salvage anything with him
Self respect. Rare commodity here.
Well done.
Take it slowly and enjoy the journey. Happy for you!
She won’t know you want them or feel this way if you don’t tell her. She isn’t a mind reader. She probably assumes you are on social media and that’s enough photos. you are reading too much into why she doesn’t
He’s done nothing wrong, this is your issue not his, theees nothing to bring up. Hopefully he loves u, but newsflash: he’s still a guy and likes busty women as wel like every other guy. It’s very naive and narcissistic to think that’s only gonna jerk off over women who look like u
land of the free home of the brave unfortunately
Some people just like to keep private things private.
A red flag doesn’t even ask others for advice
Because at the end of the day he's still someone that I appreciate a lot, he's basically one of my closest friends. I know that he will try to contact me before the 3 months mark btw, I even bumped into him yesterday evening lol. But if he doesn't want to commit, I'll make sure to give him exactly what he wants: a friendship, but with no advantages.
Let them be happy, forget about it
Tell your dad that he helps out enough at home and probably didn’t want to overstep himself in a strange environment. And the next time they want help to ask for it not expect guests to be mind readers
So if you're this aware of how she feels is he aware?
But he is selfish and lacks respect for you. Ditch all 3, not just the ladies,
Honestly, it may not always be something you can control in this matter.
The fact is you two are different people. He is clingy by default, and thus more codependant. While you are naturally independant.
This causes a lot of conflict and irritation, as these things continueously cause disruption in your relationship; causing the “good things” in it to become less significant as the pile builds up.
He needs someone who matches him the way he loves you. And while you love him too, it is not in that same way.
Basically, right now you two are speaking two different languages, and you can't understand each other very well.
That doesn't mean there isn't a solution. But it will take a lot of very hot work, and both of you to compromise.
To balance codependancy and independancy; we call this “interdependance”. You'll both have to compromise a little to reach that middle point.
This will require some really strong communication from both of you. And you really both need to take the time to LISTEN and TALK to each other about this.
That said, the way you act on this is your choice and in your control. But the way he responds is his responsibility, not yours. If he doesn't cooperate or wont put in the same effort; it isn't going to work.
At that point… save both your troubles and acknowledge the differences will remain just that. You both deserve better at that point.
She full on cheated which your heart recognizes. But likely you are used to lesbian sex being treated as entertainment for men which explains the erection. That's not what happened though. Nothing about this was to arouse you, it was about her cheating on you.
I'd move forward as if she had sex with some random Steve she met.
(Some may complain that your attitude is biphobic in not treating bi sex like it's as valid as straight sex. Which is correct, but besides the point. Realizing that she hax straight up regular sex with someone might help though.)
She full on cheated which your heart recognizes. But likely you are used to lesbian sex being treated as entertainment for men which explains the erection. That's not what happened though. Nothing about this was to arouse you, it was about her cheating on you.
I'd move forward as if she had sex with some random Steve she met.
(Some may complain that your attitude is biphobic in not treating bi sex like it's as valid as straight sex. Which is correct, but besides the point. Realizing that she hax straight up regular sex with someone might help though.)
My dad understood as an ex alcoholic himself that I’m just lonely and insecure. I just unfortunately make bad decisions and don’t listen to my head
If you’re infertile, why are you using condoms?
He needs a therapist. Tell your friend what happened
This is a really tangled mess. I would never hang out with the person who knowingly was involved in emotionally affair with MY partner!
I would drop them all, the friend, the cheating BF, the other woman who oh so badly regrets her actiions and wants to be, again a part of your (BF's..) life.
Why not. Why do you expect him to ask you?
Does he use the term situationship, or is that just you?
It's not your friendship he values, cuz if he did, he would've respected the boundaries both of you agreed upon. He values the convenience you give him of being available.
Did you do it for yourself or your man? If you feel good with it, then that should be the only thing that matters
You clearly have no idea what you're talking about. You keep mentioning stages of relationships but then saying that they're just dating after THREE years. At this point the relationship is serious.
Youre putting the cart before the horse, youre using his actions at the end of the relationship to justify her decisions throughout the course of the entire relationship. Youre just twisting the situation to fit your narrative.
The simple fact is that OP should have been honest. That doesn't mean she has to drop it on the first date, but some point in three whole years might have been a good idea.
Talk to a lawyer. Sorry. best of luck to you.
Well, I know she'll do it if it happens that I'll be short anyway. But I was hoping if I can prevent it from happening.
I'm more of a preventive person while she's ready to take on whatever happens even if we fall short. She's faithful that God'll provide.
Not that I'm negative, but I'd prefer to not end up short and still have enough.
No, don’t waste your time on men who pay that kind of stuff. They will continue to do it
Doesn't make sense for her to be pissed off!!
You were pissed off and not her!
Yes. Either he has no control of himself or he is trying to instill fear in you. Either way he is an unsafe person.
Yes this is a very valid point. Having read many many stories like this, when it comes to cheating and even the marriage before that I believe high school sweethearts who is cheated on have an even greater disadvantage then your standard betrayed spouse.
This is because they have no context to understand what quality they should expect in their relationship. When they first started dating both peoples brains are not fully developed nor do they have real life experiences and if one of those people grows into a narcissist, that kind of behavior has probably been normalized over time.
There is also the fact that this is all they have known as far as a romantic relationship, so it's a huge change, more then someone who has dated around a little bit and who has the experience to know that though it's different you can be just as intensely in love with someone else. Often it's better in some ways.
The other problem seems to be the cheater now has enough experience to know this so this gives them power in the relationship. They know they can develop feelings just as intense for someone else so they no longer fear that. Often though the cheater is also full of endorphins of the newness of it all. This is probably also something they have never experienced before so they also have no context. It's later when they wear off and the damage is done that they realize they have broken what was the the most important relationships in their life.
It's a very risky dynamic and I agree with you unless they have been around some really healthy relationships this kind of stuff has the tendency to be an issue. I remember when I was young I used to envy people who ended up with their HSS but long term observation makes me thankful I did not.
So he left his wife that he been married to for several years for you but you’re the one that’s hurt. You’ll be in her shoes at her age. He sacrificed his family to roll around with a 20 something year old toy. Why are you proud of that?
I've never seen a single episode of The Office, but I still get the reference.
I don't think its anyone's business really.
I do think its based on a lack of trust, security, and maturity. However, if one or both of you really are those things then I mean if it works for you. There is a reasonable amount of accommodation between consenting adults to compensate for shortcomings.
He has trust issues, and they are tied to past trauma, if these rules are something you can on-line with it doesn't matter so long as you weren't manipulated or controlled into it.
This is a ridiculous question.
Put yourself first girl, you got this! He's not the right one for you but someone else will be ?
She constantly posts about this guy and the same issues, she had a similar post a few days ago. Not sure if it’s trolling, karma collecting or what but it’s consistent and she doesn’t want to listen to advice.
I didn’t see any mention of him not allowing her to look at other pictures of people. Yes super odd that they have people over, but some “bros” are weird like that
He was out of line and blowing off your feelings. He's wrong all the way around for this.
Why are you feeling paranoid, what exactly do you think she's doing? Does this result in you feeling manipulated somehow?
I personally wouldn't say the way she's doing this is problematic. It seems like she isn't the type to be assertive enough to be direct, OR she doesn't want to just come in and boss you around. It sounds like her “probing questions” are designed to understand your thinking before she requests her own idea.
Some people just communicate differently. I can see why this might be frustrating for you when you'd rather take a direct approach, but it sounds like that just doesn't come naturally to her. It isnt really fair to ask her to change her style, especially when you aren't making very much of an effort to be compassionate in understanding her.
I don’t know. I mean that is really inappropriate and weird that that was the first thought that popped into his head and then said it without thinking.
Perhaps give it a week or two and see how you feel and if you feel like you can move on from it.
What an idiot you are
I had to scroll way too far for this, considering how much she was willing to admit telling her part of the story makes me wonder hiw far overboard she actually went.
I mean, she implicated him first:
asked him if he put her up to that as a joke or otherwise.
I can imagine him being offended at the suggestion he would set up his wife to fuck the neighbor.
I understand, but I mean that as well. An emergency savings in case you one day cause enough harm she may need to escape/divorce. Domestic violence is a reality that affects us all on some level, even if we did not experience it we are very likely to know someone who has. Abusive relationships don't start out that way, otherwise no one would even be in an abusive relationship, it usually starts off good, appears loving and genuine. Many won't show their real selves until they feel they “trapped” the person enough so that they couldn't leave, for some it is right after marriage or a baby, or simply having been in a relationship for so many years it plays into the sunk cost fallacy.
You are right to feel hurt by it, but it is a reality many women and men face, maybe not now but in the future. Guns just happen to make everything bad happening so much faster and easier. Stabbings take minutes to kill, choking takes several minutes of concentrated effort, guns take seconds and can kill instantly. There is a huge difference in risk.
He assaulted you. You need to kick this asshole to the curb. He obviously doesn't care about you or your boundaries.
Just leave it then mate. Give it a few days.
It she hasn't reached out by then, it's a pretty shitty and immature response. Not much you can do until she decides to be an adult and let you know either somethings up, what's up, or that she needs time to think things through.
He's calling them something they are not. That's messed up on at least a couple of levels.
it's him trying to pass them off as non-threatening it's offensive to label people something they are not
Take him at his word since what he is saying makes sense. Then explain to him exactly what you explained to us since that makes sense, too.
This person is genuinely delusional. Talk about a persecution complex, your comment didn’t even mention gender stereotypes or anything even close it.
Tell him he makes you uncomfortable and you don’t like it. His parents dying is no excuse for his behavior. If he has the energy to make these jokes he has energy to get his shit to left her and stop it. If he absolutely makes no effort to knock it off stop being his friend because no matter what you believe he isn’t yours.
Do it for your child or it will cost you both
To be honest, this would 100% be a deal breaker for me. It’s fine that she slept with others in a break, but she lied to you and manipulated you. She made you feel guilty and to benefit herself while hiding her own behavior.
I don’t care how good it feels to be back together, get out while you’re ahead.
Go fuck yourself dude. Full Stop. You made choices, and those choices resulted in a child. You have options – like terminating your parental rights – but don’t you dare call that innocent child that your dna helped create a bastard. You’re the bastard. Cultural differences be damned on this one.
Be horny with people your age?
Most 30 yo women don't want to date a 19 yo. They want someone in the same place in life and you are way off. Stick to people your own age.
Bruh she just wanted to bang other dudes. Move on
You mean you caught your ex-girlfriend sending nudes. It's over kid. Not worth wasting any more of your time.
You literally move out of the country after going on a date?
I’m being serious, wouldn’t you agree that basically by masturbating to her after she was drunk or if he would’ve stayed with her, he would’ve had sex with a drunk women by fantasizing about it. I don’t understand why people don’t understand what I’m saying. He literally said if he was more confident he would’ve stayed when she asked and if he wasn’t afraid of intimacy so he went home and masturbated thinking about having sex with her BECAUSE she touched his thigh and wanted him to stay longer while she was drunk. I would understand if she wasn’t drunk but she was drunk so I don’t understand what you mean and why you’re disagreeing with me?
1. He edited to add that he's done things to address this issue. 2. You are correct about my incorrect response; I was distracted when reading and replying to your comment. 3. Everyone is responsible for their own sexual virility and health. If your genitals are displaying a problem, see a urologist or gynecologist.
Clearly his wife isn't dissatisfied. She might have laughed, but she hasn't left him and tbh, reveals she's not shallow. I don't think it's kicking someone when they're down to suggest ways to improve their situation when they previously did not include any ways they'd tried, only lamented.
They will all do this. Expecting otherwise will lead to disappointment
Did you read any of that?
Did you read any of that?
Your arrogance is obvious from a post so I can only imagine what your personality in person must be like. I’m sure this rubs off and affects your love life this way
I doubt your body is an issue at all. Low libido definitely is a big contributing factor here, but he also sounds like he is just kind of awkward. Is there any chance he's on the spectrum?
Whether he is or isn't I think it would be fine to talk about how you don't feel emotionally connected while having sex. Have the talk during a non- sex time, and give him specific examples of stuff you want him to do. Like really specific.
I haven't seen one in years, but you might look up tantric sex massage how to videos. I'm sure someone has uploaded several to streaming porn sites. They will probably be corny, but have some good advice on getting close during sex, and touching each other a lot in specific ways that might enhance the experience so it will be more erotic/ romantic.
Maybe watch a few, and if you find one you like ask him to watch it with you and try it out. I know you said he isn't really into new positions, so I'm not sure he'll go for it, but it might be worth a shot.
Also, because you said he is half soft when you have sex, and he has a low libido it might be worth having his testosterone checked if he hasn't had blood work done for a while. I wouldn't count on that being the case, but it's always good to mark out of the list.
I dunno if any of that stuff will actually help, but I hope something changes for the better.
I sent you a PM,
22 is too young he's not settled.
So you having four kids is your perfect family but her wanting a kid is just wanting a kid for the sake of it?
Sounds like you’re the dom here
It’s not inherently mean to discuss what you need in your sexual life with your partner. You’ve already tried to bring this issue up gently and he’s resistant, so I think it’s time to be more clear. I think once you’re clear about how much you enjoy PIV sex, he should be overjoyed! And want to try to last longer!
Nobody ever try to call or text you there on the spot?
I'm a woman and I've had this happen before. It's weird as hell. Supposedly there are some apps you can use to create a burner number that won't be a giveaway if this happens, but I'm not familiar with them.
The shitty thing is, no matter what women do, there's often going to be some level of fear and anxiety, and you could do everything “right” and still end up having the guy respond poorly or even violently.
How long have you guys been together?
Thank you!
Reminds me of that dude who blew all his family's money with his ignorant inability to manage finances, so he murdered his wife, mother, and three children, left their bodies to rot in their home, and ran away to start a new life. All so he wouldn't have to tell them. Because his religion said “men should be providers”. And he thought his wife would leave him if she knew he lost EVERYTHING. Then he showed up on America's Most Wanted and got ratted out by his neighbors who all thought he was a massive creep from the jump.
I find, more often than not in these true crime shows men will full out know they're a worthless loser who ruined their entire family's lives, but their solution is still to murder their family. Not themselves. (Not that s*icide is good either. But if you think YOU'RE a massive loser, why does your FAMILY have to be the ones to die for that?) On the other hand, most women who kill their spouses are convinced that they aren't the problem and it's all their spouse. Which is obviously not true, but at least it makes some kind of sense why they think their partner should be the one to “pay”, as it were. I mean, they're still wrong, but at least I get the connection there. But killing other people because you suck, know you suck, and are embarrassed about sucking? That's not even delusion. It's just entitlement.
Yikes.
You’ve been on this site 5 years and have 14,000 karma, big guy
Thank you for this insight and your compassion. I think based on my knowledge of his childhood that you are very likely correct, but I didn’t know that this was a response to that type of trauma.
We were lucky in that our counsellor has a cancellation today so was able to fit him in for an individual session. There’s a lot to work through, but we’re on the right path. I’m going to turn off notifications and log off this account now, but I may update down the track.
I'm sorry this happened to you :/ Seems as if a lot of guys pull this kind of shit. My (27m) partner (29f) experienced something like this around 4 years ago when we first got together. Here is the best advice that we can both offer you:
When you are in person and alone, tell your boyfriend that you need to talk to him about something. In the very first sentence tell him that the guy from the other night made an unwanted move on you and that you rejected it and left. Tell him you hoped the guy just saw you as a platonic friend and be honest about how hurt you were that this happened. This will honestly test your boyfriend. If he condemns you, I'm sorry to say, he is unempathetic. If he is nurturing, you're dating a decent guy.
The truth here is that you didn't do anything wrong. There is no reason two friends shouldn't be able to watch a movie and drink. It's a fun activity. This guy took advantage of the situation, knowing you had a boyfriend. We aren't animals, instinct and impulse do not bind us. If your boyfriend set you up to see if you would cheat, by the way, that is manipulative on his part. You deserve better than anyone who would do that. To date you is a choice. If he didn't trust you, then he shouldn't have dated you. I hope this is not the case.
Regardless, you didn't do anything wrong. Please don't be so very hot on yourself. Best of luck!
Ask him to point it out whenever you do it, and look at what you're saying and how it makes him feel. Don't start defending yourself until you have truly understood how he feels and have apologised sincerely. Brainstorm together to come up with better ways of framing your suggestions.
Accept that we are all different and no one person is always right. Only idiots never change their minds.
If in doubt, keep quiet.
If you really feel like he's doing something wrong, try asking “can I make a suggestion?” first.
If he's doing something dangerous, you point out the danger first, then suggest how to correct what he's doing:
“watch out, you might get burned! This is what the oven mitts are for”
That's what I said. He said that that's part of the reason they stopped, is it felt weird they didn't want to complicate things and risk their friendship with sex. Anything to keep up that codependence I guess
That's utterly disrespectful man. You should leave. This isn't intimacy. This is addiction to the brain chemicals that make you think that you're in love. Also sounds like you have attachment issues so that might be something worth looking into.
If it a stupid thing to you but important to her, you are incompatible.
Again the “allowed to do” and you “support her decisions” is deeply problematic. None of that is relevant to her body.
Trust your instinct. If you don't leave, she'll leave you or cheat
You can literally just say, “No thank you, I don't want to eat lunch together (anymore.)” And avoid him from now on. If he gets weird, definitely report him to HR.
Good riddance; you don't need advice, your ex-girlfriend already solved your problem of having a toxically insecure, controlling partner by dumping you.
“She does this all the time, breaks up with me when she gets angry, basically emotionally blackmailing me.”
Avoid this by staying broken up this time.
I’ve definitely learned my lesson, we moved in together way too fast, we didn’t break up on bad terms which is why i feel obligated to stay the full year since he has no where to go and a decent job I know neither of us want him to lose. It’s really a touch situation for the both of us
I'm sorry you had to find out that way. Well, better late than never, right?
Can you imagine going through the wedding and everything, and then finding out?
Anyway, your ex-fiancee is not sorry at all, she's only sorry that she was caught. And chances are, that was not her first. I also wouldn't trust your ex-fiancee's best friend too much, I just feel like her intentions are not pure, that she is only showing you the vids out of her own selfish reasons.
Take care, and I hope you feel better soon.
Honestly I think he just made a bad joke. He clearly doesn't think you're fat if he weighs 155 and thinks you weigh less. I also weigh more than my boyfriend, I was definitely insecure about it at first but over time I got more comfortable with it, he never cared at all lol
You're desperately grasping at straws here. There is a reason she broke up with you. People dont just blow up a long-term relationship over nothing.She's definitely shady. I bet anything that if you take her back, she'll fuck you over worse in the future.
We are planning on doing that but our current work schedules arent feasible. He is starting a new job soon that will put us a bit more on track (with also the costs) so we do plan on going through that avenue
Dump him, find an asexual to marry instead
Thank you so, so much. I truly am tearing up bc I don’t have this type of support. I will never be a victim or feel bad for loving deeply and feeling deeply giving deeply like he tried to make me. I have been trying to process managing my diagnoses that came suddenly, along with a plethora of information, appointments, my treatments all with a traumatic shock that I was discarded like old garbage by someone I gave every ounce of my myself to for so long that left me without my career, stability, self-esteem, so many health issues. I don’t recognize myself who used to be so joyful, energetic, confident, healthy, he took my soul with him.
I guess the only reason why I ever would want to say anything is because he is so used to me being naïve and taking advantage, and having the understanding of how deeply I loved him and how deeply confused and emotional I was about the sudden discard. It would just feel so good for him to know that I am not only , going to be just fine cancer wise, but I’m not dwelling on him like he probably thinks that I am. Where do you think remaining? No contact is better? I in no way want to communicate with this man. I just want to either respond or not respond with the objective to let him know that I’m smiling and I am going to be not just great but so much better off. I don’t want him thinking that I’m dwelling or crying over him because that’s the last memory he has of me was crying of him breaking up with me and I don’t know if it’s having a successful removal of cancer but I truly I’m not crying over him anymore and I do know now that he was never worth my love. I am only grateful to be alive and have a promising grip on my cervical cancer.
I don’t have safe family as an adult in a long-distance relationship with a narcissist. He made sure all of my friendships dissipated. I am 100% to blame for allowing it and not seeing it when I type this out I am mortified that it is not until , now when he has discarded me that I see it as a blessing in disguise, and I also see how detrimental everything this man did that I overlooked. So the point is is just me and my dog right now and I’m very very thankful the community of people on-line who care enough to even read my pain, but read and reply. It means more than you know. Thank you
You have a conversation with her, yes it's going to be awkward but trying to act like it didn't happen is going to eat you up mentally
Either he likes the woman or he's obsessed with his childhood home and can't get go.
What did you say to him?
So why don't you just go up and ring the doorbell? It sucks that he keeps you waiting but everyone days you can come in so why don't you? Does he have to invite you in every time?
It's really creepy that a man not far off 40 pops round unannounced to a young mums home, I would feel intimidated especially having just a young child. He shouldn't be going over unless invited, there needs to be a boundary.
If you phrase it the way I said or similar, no I don't think it's too clingy or pushy. It's just giving her the option.
Miss girl don’t ever give an adult man money. That’s setting a terrible precedent.
What is the source of this debt anyway?
Both?
I mean I get that she is moody after he fantasy of her has been crushed. But he absolutly didn't lie to her. Opinions can change. Consent can change.
And the real problem isn't her being in a bad mood but her still trying to make him do it after he cleary expressed how uncomfortable he is with all of that
I mean I get that she is moody after he fantasy of her has been crushed. But he absolutly didn't lie to her. Opinions can change. Consent can change.
And the real problem isn't her being in a bad mood but her still trying to make him do it after he cleary expressed how uncomfortable he is with all of that
Sure.
Nah, he doesn't get out that easy. Apologizing is only the first step. He also needs to make amends. Step one of that is marriage counseling. He needs help, and you need support in processing all of this. Make that non-negotiable.
I dk man, I both get it and don’t get it. I get that it seems like she wants to feel appreciated and acknowledged by you and to her, social media is the way to do it. Do you otherwise acknowledge your relationship? Does she have any other reason to feel that you’ve been maybe hiding her? I don’t get it because I’m also not really a social media poster. If you both have Instagram – if she posts a story or something about you and tags you, could you reshare it yourself? I do that sometimes and it’s a lower key way (IMO) to say “look we’re close” than having to do it yourself. I feel so awkward and weird when I have to post myself that I just don’t.
The best way to see busy people is scheduling in advance. Make a plan to see your friends far enough in the future they can make. Then keep doing that. You don’t want to wait until he makes other plans to scramble. You can choose to actively maintain your own friendships outside of his schedule.
Furthermore, he relies on you to manage his basic maintenance. If he won’t even take himself to therapy, why would he take care of his own clothes? It’s far easier to push you to take care of both.
Did you think he was watching old people porn?
Assuming this is real, you are a fucking awful spouse and a terrible person. You need to tell him the truth, and be ready to accept the consequences of what you have done. Hopefully he divorces you, and he can find someone that will show him the same love, respect, and empathy that he has shown you.
I know it seems like that now, but if he left you for someone else that most likely means he had something going on with her while you guys were together. Someone that cheats on you or even entertains being with someone else while you're together is not a good thing in your life. You do have something else worth living for; yourself.
When discussing your pasts, did she get into specifics regarding of partners (i dated my neighbor, John) or was it vague ( I've slept with more than x men)?
Also, we're these ONS or was she sleeping with them all for awhile? Are these nudes still out there?
Does he have any upbringing which would create self hate? You'll have to get to understanding. If it is happy, congrats. I don't think you need to dig deeper, but if it isn't happiness, then maybe counseling. He'll need to accept himself.
Sounds like maybe he doesn't want to buy a place together in which case you should go out on your own since you're so desperate to own a home. Take the hint and forget buying a place together. Sit down and try to have a talk with him but his lack of action towards your supposed shared goal makes it sound like he is placating you with empty promises and had no intention of actually buying a house with you. So, focus on what you can control and that's your actions. Good luck.
Well that’s weird because my now boyfriend lived in the UK, and I lived in the US. When I said I wanted to be just friends he was totally cool with it. Who tf is to say what is and isn’t realistic before even trying it? Sounds like you dodged a bullet tbh
I think this is one of those situations where you take the hint and move on.
I think this is one of those situations where you take the hint and move on.
So what's the line for you?
How many times do you have to catch her?
Do you honestly believe she has only lied to you twice and you've caught her both times?
Not exactly the most normal of beginning of friendships. Hopefully you can see its not something that you usually boast about.
I get you are unhappy about the lie, and I think a heart to heart talk about it expressing your disappointment, and wanting an apology is reasonable. Due to the circumstances I wouldn't leave over it, and if the “you have to tell me warts and all” conversation goes reasonably well, I think you should completely drop it.
Did she grow up in a really abusive and argumentative home? Because I grew up in a home like that and it gave me very unhealthy arguing mechanisms. Rather than yell and interrupt people such as my husband, i shut down and start to cry. Other people I know that grew up in homes like this argue like your partner.
Then get used to being cheated on…….over and over. Because you presented him with absolute proof you are a doormat. Your daughter deserves better from you.
He says mean things and threatens to kill himself
Is he abusive? You know the answer.
He threatened to kill himself. You called people that can help him – his mom. And now he's mad because you dared to care enough to make sure he was okay?
You need to let his family know – as you did, so they can get him help.
Then you need to say “You say this relationship isn't good for you. You say insulting things to me. You threaten to hurt yourself as a method of controlling me. This relationship has come to an end. Good luck. Talk to your family and get the help you need.” Say the same thing to his parents. then block him.
Then find someone you can talk to yourself. Friend or family of your own. school counselor. therapist. find a support group.
Our moms gave us a life with drunk or/and absent fathers, we have our kids life shitty fathers (everything to save the marriage!) and here we are. At the bottom.
Seems like this thread did not go the way OP thought it would go.
She said in the comments he literally edges all day all the time.
He’s only had sex w people who don’t enjoy it and isn’t used to a woman who gets relaxed and wet (which is exactly what is SUPPOSED to happen – which any man who cares about pleasing a woman should know).
Two women could just as into it and relaxed and not feel the same.
He enjoyed the service and tipped well because of that. I feel like you’re really asking something more than this – like if we think he did it because he had the hits for the server.
Maybe so. A lot of men respond very positively to flirty attention from female waitstaff. That’s likely why she talked mostly to him (well that and your having a very hot time even maintaining eye contact).
I used to wait tables. If you want to make great tips looking decent and having a fun personality is required. Being skilled helps but people will forgive a lot if you make them laugh or can find some way to enjoy their company.
Faking it doesn’t work for long, however. You have to ACTUALLY enjoy chatting with/joking with people or it gets obvious. Think of it more as a mindset than a performance.
If this all makes you feel insecure then I recommend talking to your bf. He might be surprised you feel that way.
If it’s all just a budget thing then also talk to him so you can see if you two have the sane ideas about saving v spending. Financial incompatibility is real and can cause huge issues down the road
First of all, this guy was way too angry about this and took it out on you.
There is no excuse for that behavior, but it's probably due to his parents rather than actually being caused by you. Contacting him like this is obviously stressful for him because his parents may come down very hot on him, you need to be conscious of this.
And yes, contacting his friend after not being able to talk for like a single day is a bit much. You are being clingy, and I am questioning whether you are in a healthy enough mental state to even be in a relationship if you feel strong anxiety from this and can't go without a single day of no contact.
You apologized over and over for nothing you actually did wrong. He dumped all his annoyances and his OWN lack of planning on you, and you said sorrysorrysorry.
Of course he thinks everything is fine. He bitched/moaned/kicked you around, you took it, so it's all good now – FOR HIM.
You have some….. only you have to dig up to find them.
Me too. So did the circus music for the clown that is me?
You are setting yourself up for heartbreak. Just leave, you deserve better and don't need to waste your time. You could always just date other people while you are still hanging with her, but I think you would feel better with a clean break.
maybe it wasnt a case of OP forgot, but that the friend claims she said something about it before but really didnt. if she is petty and immature enough to act the way she is over the situation, she is petty and immature enough to lie over it as well
I reccomend getting a new roommate. If you cut all contact with this person, it is no longer your problem. If you want to make sure they never bother you again, gaslight them into thinking they are the problem so they leave. If that dosent work, light them on fire with gas, that will definitely work. Might have slight legal probelms tho.
No, he wouldn’t be okay with a $21k handbag. I thought they go for a couple of thousand, I’m obviously not familiar with the prices.
I’m of the belief that if you can keep your ex in your life as friends, that is a good thing. From what you’ve described, that is not possible here and you are not in a place where you two can work out whatever baggage you have and move forward together.
I think you need to establish some firm boundaries and just never get together again, and move on separately.