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Agata, 18 y.o.
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Date: December 30, 2022
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INFO Can you please clear up a few things to make it easier to give reasonable advice?
I think time does matter in this case but this sounds confusing. She cancelled two days before the date, then you ignore her for one day and lie about the reason, then two days ago you ask her about her plans for the day of the date … So was the day you asked her about her plans the actual day of the date and thus the next day after you ignored her and then lied about the reason? Has she been at her friends since yesterday or only today?
How dry are we talking? It does make a difference whether you‘ve only been short or also rude/bitter.
What have you tried so far? It does make a difference whether you actually tried to apologize or just sent random videos hoping she‘ll ignore your behaviour.
Patience is the key here.
i know…. and whenever she was not with these mood swings it was amazing. We were even talking about moving together.
Forgot to mention. I also thought about this being some bipolar or borderline disorder. Never discussed it with her.
Also…. She has bad relations with her whole family (mother, father, sister) .
Now because i left she will spend new year's alone…. I kinda feel bad about that but i couldn't take these next 3 days with this living hell with her mood. So i Left.
S
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He's a dumb jerk. Dump him. You can do better!
dude… LEAVE.
The point in your relationship when it occurs is completely irrelevant. It is truly as bad as everyone is making out, whether it happens after you've navigated other bumps in the road or not.
You. Would. Have. Died! You're okay ONLY because you got your quickly fading self to emergency care. He didn't do anything to prevent your imminent death, and actually is making your recovery prolonged, since the earlier you treat a bad appendix, the better.
Please leave him. This isn't love.
Yeah, a lot of people would certainly consider that cheating. Confront him and ask him to convince you why you shouldn’t leave him.
Tell your ex-boyfriend that you were also testing him and that he fuckin failed the test and get rid of him. Nobody has time for that childish bullshit.
Exactly, community property.
A qualified sex worker wouldn't put up with this
The fact that you let him have exes as friends is a problem. That shows zero respect for you, and you should demand better for yourself. How dare he jeopardize your relationship to support her or boost her confidence. You need to demand he cut all ties, remove her from his facebook, and follow up to make sure it's done. If he hesitates in the slightest, leave and don't look back.
I'm just thinking about the several other posts on reddit where the father is or has requested a test, the mother has said go for it and when it came back as positive the girl dumped the guy for thinking she cheated.
But man if you think she cheated and her reaction is kinda telling on that….and she's abusive then get gone, like, only have dealings with her that are supervised so she can't be lying about what you are doing
Sounds like pretty normal stuff to do for people who are in her condition.
I must get over her as soon as possible
That's your answer. The other is not an option.
Yeah, I didn't have a problem not having sex with her for 7 months, because we can connect otherwise. So it would be totally fine with me, if it came out that she's ace. But yes, therapy is the way to go.
How exactly is he talking about her?
Wait, what?
Am I reading this right….? He wants to have sex, but he's pre-op?
So… he wants you, a straight girl, to have sex with another (physically) girl, and is mad you won't (and of course you won't because amongst other reasons you're not gay??)
Like, what?
You can’t blame another person for cheating. You cheated of you’re own insecurity. Here’s hoping she finds out and dumps you
You are over thinking it and hurt. She didn’t see anything more, you did and that’s horrible but at the end of the day it was an experience you said you enjoyed. Sometimes you get disappointed, you don’t have your expectations met but that’s how it is.
Don’t tell yourself this is some terrible thing you need to move city for, you need to not let a rejection hurt you so hot. Plus who is to say your door is closed forever anyway? You could still have a chance, she just might be more of a physical person when she likes someone but it could be that she could still like you regardless of who she slept with after. You haven’t known each-other long at all anyway. Idk.
I’d say talk to her once you have recovered from your hurt, you aren’t dating and it isn’t like you told her you felt any certain way. I’d for sure keep up the relationship and see how it develops .
Statistically speaking if my daughter was a lesbian she would be less likely be killed by her partner. Less likely to be abused too.
I don’t think that’s his reasoning though. Those comments are red flags and you should run.
I would tell her, Katie, you seem like a very nice person. You have been nice to me but the fact is, I am very busy. I use my lunch/breaks to catch up with school and chill. What with work, school, studying, family and pets leaves me with very little down time for myself much less friends. I hope you understand I simply do not have the time for friends.
It seems cruddy and I know you feel badly for her but sometimes we have to take care of ourselves first, Op.
Good luck!
You might be right, to be sure.
Other comments have touched on this but I think she showed him because she's got low self esteem and thinks that she's only valued for her body (in general, not just with him), but doing that also makes her feel worse in different ways.
sorry. k-pop MAN. better?
Please respect yourself and what you have to offer and leave her. Do not marry her. You'll be doing everything the rest of your life.
Right. My thoughts exactly. What would actually happen when I really messed up or did something wrong. This argument was because I decided to go get my nails done without telling him in advance so he could plan his morning
??You have no idea how awful is this
It won’t be fine because I’ll go back to not being able to feel anything. He saved me. I love him more than anything in the world
After only five months, you’re being very whinny and needy. Her friend doesn’t like you and thinks you’re rude. Why are you trying to force this?
I agree with everything you say, but please, hit “Enter” from time to time
Yeah, it’s bad. You’re justified in leaving. Your responsibility right now is to protect yourself and get out. Your wife will take care of herself, she’s not your concern right now. If she tries to convince you otherwise, please ignore her.
She’s looking out for herself, and you’re looking out for her too. But no one is taking care of you right now, and that is an important thing that you can fix! Please start taking care of yourself!
Having your own needs and desires does not make you a bad person. Protecting yourself doesn’t make you a bad person. The people who convince you that their needs and desires matter more than yours are bad people. They don’t care about you, and you need to stop caring about them.
Leave her alone. She does not need more burdens from you. You saying you still love her means nothing. You cheated and with someone too young for you. Then got her pregnant. There’s not anything you could say now that changes that
Handle your guilt ALONE
I don't think you even know what integrity is.
Dude, accept her wishes. Besides, a 27 yo shouldn't be pursuing a 20 yo. No wonder she wants to enjoy her youth.
Are you that stupid? Sorry for being mean but you either trolling us with this stupidity or you need kick them both out or your wedding. You are marrying someone who is being actively trying excluded it isn’t being tamped down by you or your wedding party.
Do you want her to cancel the wedding because you a coward?
I just feel weird knowing that her LGBT friends could be enjoying it a bit too much. One she snuggles with a lot has already had dreams on going on dates with her and another one tried to kiss her
No, I don't want my name on there before we get married! His name would be put on my house and vice versa after being married. And I actually have more assets than him, plus a better-paying job, so I'm not a gold digger 🙂 It's more of the principle of the thing, combining assets once married. He couldn't buy his car without his mom's help, so….
The poo smell could be that he's awful at wiping.
Or not cleaning himself at all. Op says it only smells that badly the first night they're together so he could just not be taking care of himself properly since there's “no point” when Op isn't around.
Did you talk to her about it? Also, those fantasies could be fueled by your lack of intimacy.
Trust your gut. That ick feeling is telling you all you need to know. It will only get worse if you stay.
While this may not be the norm, and probably not the case here, if I was the friend and making plans with another good friend I would absolutely say something like:
“Oh – just break up with them. Easy” (As a joke)
But i also would have met their SO many times
Your fiance is not “ridiculously generous”. He has no boundaries or awareness that he should have some. And when you tell him your boundary, he disrespects it and keeps hiding things from you, only doling out information when he thinks he's in the right.
Girl I feel for you!!! I used date not one, but two guys like this!!! One was a band dude that had hair that smelled gross and I’d even say, “how bout a shower together?” but he’s say he was “good”. The other guy had bad breath and I even suggested we go to the dentist together. Nope, he was “good”. GROSS! Had to dump both of them. For me personally, bad smells/poor hygiene/not listening to your partners feedback on said hygiene is a dealbreaker. Especially the latter. If your stank is so bad I’m forced to bring it up and you still don’t fix it? This is just too gross and not self aware enough for me. I guess in the end you have to decide how important having a clean smelling partner is to you, but in my humble opinion, if he knows it’s a problem and hasn’t fixed it, it may be time to go.
AMEN
Move on. Why break up to sleep with other people and then want to get back together?
You slept with someone. What if she didn't? How is she going to feel? Let her go. Your issue has not been resolved. Save her from the drama.
I avoid these people and places?
Yes, theyre jealous