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111 tkns to control my fuckmachine , ♥ [Goal Race]
Date: January 1, 2023
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Hello /u/MamaOna,
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It’s crazy to see how many people struggle with a partner that does this; I’m actually guilty of this (I thought for a moment my wife might have posted this about me, haha!)
I think a lot of us are dealing with undiagnosed autism or ADHD. I don’t think it’s depression because I’ve gone down that road. And just so we’re clear, there is nothing wrong with having a partner that may potentially have undiagnosed autism or ADHD. My wife and I are happily married, and it has been quite a workout for me, to break away from gaming all day and night.
You should have a serious talk with your partner because I’m sure they know that they have a problem and simply don’t know how to deal with it. Luckily, my wife is a planner, and I’ve learned that it helps to use a PHYSICAL CALENDAR (not a digital one) to keep me on track with other things going on in my life. A digital calendar is way too easy to ignore when it’s popping out on his phone, so use a physical one, or a white board, and plan things, like meals, walks, adventures, date nights, etc. Put him in charge of cooking meals for 3 out of 5 days for the two of you; I get you may think that you’re babysitting but I’m going to be grossly sexist here and admit that most dudes in working relationships act like big babies anyway. I’m not saying that’s ok, but that’s kind of what I’ve seen in my experience.
And, I’m not saying you have to be receptive to giving him a chance. If you really think you can’t handle it, that is your god-given right to admit. Ultimately, we are all in charge of our own health and mental health, and condition or not, he should be able to be more helpful than just a few days; it’s selfish, and he’s not spending any time reflecting on that. Good luck!
Have some time to think about your relationship and what you can tolerate and what you cannot. You are young and have time to be picky about what you want in a relationship.
Some people here would say break up others will say let it slide but at the end of the day it is up to how you feel and your boundaries. If it's something you cannot deal with discuss it with them but be prepared to leave if they keep talking to the toxic ex if it isn't something you can deal with.
Hello /u/Diligent_Comedian985,
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i'm an every day weed smoker and i agree with all of this. this isn't about weed, this is about you repeatedly not showing up as a partner and parent.
op, do you know exhausting it is to constantly try to figure out if your spouse is lying to you? if you're not going to quit, tell her that and let her get on with her life. you should also prepare for little to no custody (or supervised visits) if part of her “catching” you involves times you were supposed to be caring for your child.
I mean as someone who grew up dirt poor and had to claw his way up to his first 100k a year job I’d be pretty bitter if I came home each day to a partner that decides they don’t need or want to work at all.
I’d expect my partner to at least work full time / use there money to start some sort of organization. Seems like he wants someone a bit more grounded and living in the real world.
Not shaming you but it’s just different lifestyles. The Uber wealthy or the 99.5% of people whose have to work for a living whether they be rich or poor.
My wife and I somewhat talked about my MILs Driving yesterday, in their home country everyone there drives much slower as the streets are packed and you're kinda stuck going at a snails pace. My wife agrees she does not drive safely and even got upset at MIL for how much she was hurting my back after the second naked brake, but MIL just kept doing it for some reason.
I have offered to drive but they don't feel comfortable putting me on the rental as my MIL doesnt like i was in 4 accidents in 2020 ( not my fauly as i was rear ended all 4 times) and doesnt trust my driving as a result.
I will bring up public transportation but as i have been learning while being around the in laws forgeiners are offended by alot of things americans aren't, and i dont know if my MIL would feel insulted for not accepting her driving and call us ungrateful, which i would like to avoid if possible. (Their country has a stigma that americans are entitled and demanding)
Yeah I want going to bring up the tinder thing. Yeah awkward as hell. You are kind of a jerk for making a thing about it. Leave him alone. Would you want to hang out with a girl he met on tinder?
And seriously who goes on a dating app to find friends?
Well, you cannot control him, so don't even try.
If he wants to separate, does he think he has permission to pursue her (or others)? If so, I would separate and file for divorce. Why play second fiddle? There are plenty of men who would rather have sex than masturbate. Find one of those men.
Girl… you are in intelligent, strong, capable human being. You are no grown ass man’s mom. You might love him, but you aren’t his charity case. It will be hot but let him go, stay strong and you’ll be surprised how happy you can find yourself in your next relationship… and how you are treated.