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Date: January 1, 2023
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Can you afford to have this baby on your own, mentally, emotionally, financially? Do you online in an safe environment that will be suitable for a child?
You don’t sound mature enough to have a baby, and definitely don’t make it wise decisions when it comes to your own life, will you be able to when it comes to another life?
You fling has made it very clear to you that he doesn’t want to be a part of your life, I highly doubt he will be ready to be a father. So if you decide to keep this baby, make sure that you are ready to be a single mother.
I think its much better if he first tells her he's not interested in her.
If she's been as flirty with him as you describe (and he knows its flirty and that she's into him), and he just does not reciprocate those feelings, he needs to tell her.
If you want to go have dinner with him i'd suggest you tell him to first come clean with Stepth. something like; “I'd love to go have dinner with you, but i feel it is unfair to Steph. You know she's into you and if you don't feel the same way, you have to tell her. After that… lets give her a week to get over it… be mad or sad… and then she'll be past it (hopefully).”
Why did you even make this post then, if you're not gonna listen to any advice? He's already done it multiple times. Cheaters don't change.
Why did you even make this post then, if you're not gonna listen to any advice? He's already done it multiple times. Cheaters don't change.
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Is she ok with you kissing another person or sitting in someone’s lap?
He's 32 and upset you've had sexual pleasure from previous relationships. Imagine if the tables were turned. Bizarre behavior and 100% not your personal problem. I'd move on, this guy has some weird personal hang ups and they are not your responsibility to fix.
“how can I make her get her back?” – you can't!
She's not depressed or in some crisis, she's just smarter now!
I just feel it was a bit cruel the way it happened. I guess I was seeking sort of coping mechanism, but I will need to learn to not depend on her. Thank you for the insight.
I hope you're happy knowing that I am not holidaying with Amy. I have spoken to Beth already about it. Thanks.
Shut the fuck up. Having your friend not cuddle your exes is a simple ask. A true friend wouldn’t cross that boundary
Could they have snooped around when feeding the cats and found something that indicates a deadish bedroom?
You broke your cultures customs but you shouldn't suffer the consequences? Instead an innocent child should? Wow. Don't blame your background. Blame yourself.
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2 lessons here. 1) he’s a rp-ist. 2) most of the time men & women can’t be plutonic
Man people here are so quick to throw in “divorce” and mind you, those people are usually not married themself. Divorce is the last act to rescue yourself and you are far away from needing that right now.
The first thing you need to do ask him why exactly he is doing what he is doing and if his explaination does not suit you, ask him to stop, for the sake of your marriage.
If he says he will and does required steps to follow through, let him show you the things he did to actually follow up and then trust that its gonna be okay, for a while.
If he falls back on his behaivor, anywhere in the future, which is likely and okay, confront him again and make sure he understands that this is a risk to your marriage. People are weird, have weird urges and do weird shit for all the weird reasons.
Leave him some honest space for fuck-ups so long he keeps actually trying.
Your surgeon hasn't seen photos of your nose? Are they aware of your deviated septum? If not, that's definitely something I would have made the surgeon aware of as they will do a septoplasty. They will usually also do a rhinoplasty at the same time to straighten out the nose anyway.
I would have mentioned that in your original post as having a septoplasty is medically necessary and not considered just “plastic surgery”. It makes sense why your boyfriend would be fine (if he wasn't he would be an asshole) with it and if that's truly the only thing you want to get fixed then there's no issue.
I understand that endometriosis is terrible, remember I lived with my wife whilst she's had it.
She still has it. You sound completely heartless
Did you get pregnant on purpose with the knowledge that your baby would go to somebody else once it was born?
The answer is no, which means you weren't a surrogate, and trying to convince other people you were because it makes you feel better to think about it that way doesn't make it true.
There's nothing objectively wrong with the actual situation of “I accidentally got pregnant and had a baby I knew I didn't want,” but it is not the same thing as being a surrogate and I'm genuinely not trying to be a jerk when I say that if your brain is already going through justifications, you need to see a therapist because this is going to affect you more than you realize.
If you don't leave she will kill you
Tell a trusted friend that you're in danger and get their help to leave when she's at work
Don't let her know where you went just leave the divorce papers on the table and have your lawyer deal with her
When you decided against an abortion, you should have terminated your rights legally by using a lawyer, now you're stuck. Even though you never wanted anything to do with the child, you chose against your better judgement to have her out of a sense of moral obligation. Well apply that sense of moral obligation to her and her rights, she didn't ask to be born.
lemmie break it down for ya pal. She could have aborted this kid. Birthing the child for him WAS the favour, and WAS the 'payment'. You can compare prices of finding surrogates to getting an abortion if you dont believe me. Men and women's reproductive biology are different, and society isnt set up to be completely equal, sadly. Im not saying that I dont agree with ehat you're saying, Im stating that enforcing mothers who were agreed to not have a part or require payment for the child dont need to be forced into a violation of that verbal agreement
Acknowledge that he was not the love of your life because he did not treat you well enough to deserve that title.
Maybe talk to a therapist too.
Only if he agrees to stop getting so drunk when he’s not at home. If you do something stupid while drunk, then being drunk is the problem, not the excuse. That’s why you can’t wave off a DUI with “but I just drank a bit too much!”
It’s because JK Rowling still gets royalties from anything Harry Potter, due to the licensing agreement with Warner Brothers and any company that wishes to use the legal rights to the world she created.
Hence why buying the game 100% puts money into her pocket and lets her keep thriving whole still having a platform to push her TERF agenda. Seriously last month she posted some deranged pro TERF message about celebrating being a TERF!!!!
Like you can’t come back from it once you claim to be a TERF openly.
And yet you said you are considering leaving “the state”.
Which state?
puppy eyes aren't childish, her getting actually upset and expecting an apology is.
It sounds like you're just not that interested in this guy. You ignore him when he speaks to you, you don't say I love you back. He's literally begging you for attention. You let him come over on new years, he probably didn't understand that “I'm still gonna talk to my friend on discord” means “I'm going to ignore you at midnight on new years even if you're 6 inches from me.” Who would understand that? Of course he left. Aren't you satisfied?
Your kids don't even want to see her, can you imagine if you invited her back in to wreck all of your lives some more?
If you're having difficulty prioritizing yourself, prioritize your kids. They're better off with her gone, too.
….do you realise there are entire subs on reddit devoted to large labia….because so many guys find them a huge turn on???
You're aware, right?
Lol your aging girlfriend is still wanting to feel 26.
You absolutely end the friendship with zero guilt. Tell her that she is enabling a predator, and you aren't going to be around someone who doesn't have a conscience.
Go with them on the trip
you know what, op, good for her for recognizing what shouldn’t be put up with in a relationship!
Working is not “alone time”. Be real.
He was mad at me last night because I asked him to stop banging his leg on the bed because it was waking me up. Then he proceeded to sleep in the couch. I went after him and said that he he was behaving like a child and it was unnecessary, that he should come back to bed, but he didn't. And woke up like this.
Break up with him. Rape is never OK. Never is sex. Kick every man to the curb until you find one you never have to fuck.
You have plans to spend your life with this man. You have zero reason to apologize for snooping and discovering this infidelity.
What makes you think he is different now?
I would immediately pause this marriage. Unless of course he is worth millions. In that case proceed full speed ahead.
Bottom line – he's a bottom dweller, and you are about to legally attach yourself to him.
Agree completely. It's often a form of emotional blackmail by the party that realizes they are doing something inappropriate, but want to pressure their partner in condoning it.
The reason I posted here was to get this reply. I needed to hear it from somebody else. Particularly the part about how she knows she can lie without consequence, it's very very hot to admit something like that by yourself.
Thank you.
This is the truth!
He'll only change long enough for you to quit being 'mad'. He'll only do the bare minimum effort for the bare minimum amount of time.
Go see a divorce attorney. As soon as your husband finds out, he'll start swearing he'll be good and do his part. But that should just remind you that he's known all along how to do his share of the work and that you were angry he wouldn't do it. He's only doing it now to get you to stay with him and continue being his mommy!
Do yourself the BIGGEST FAVOR of your life and leave. Without him, you'll have less work, more time, less stress, more opportunities!
This thread is seriously fucking nuts. Guy makes one bad attempt at humor, doesn't realize how his GF would perceive it, and the hivemind opinion is that the guy is Hitler adjacent and she should dump him immediately. How do these fucking people make it through a day?
Another perspective is to be grateful you got to have someone there to support you in a time of need, but recognize that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the best person to stay with forever.
At least you weren’t alone during those rough times. Now that you’re in a better place, it’s time to move upwards on your own feet. Don’t look for someone else to carry you.
Breakups are awful but there’s a lot of unique experiences to enjoy being single. Try and see it as an opportunity for growth. By feeling grateful for her support, it will prevent you from becoming bitter and the character growth you experience will further enrich your next relationship.
And no sex at all the entire time? Like…dating someone for a whole year and we hadn’t had sex, I’d be out a long time ago.
Tell everyone that you had to break up with him because he can only get off when you whisper/sing nursery rhymes in his ear.
A place where he felt safe? What were the two women doing, planning to boil him alive? It’s just common courtesy she was asking for and he was being an AH.
Drop by his house on a weekday without forewarning.
I’d leave honestly he says all that to say he never intends to marry YOU. If you were really the ‘one’ for him and he saw you as his forever partner he’d do whatever it takes to keep you in his life, including gambling all his wealth and worldly possessions but he doesn’t feel that way about YOU. That’s why if you leave him you’ll probably watch him get married to someone else. Many men don’t ‘believe’ in marriage but do it anyways to secure the love of their life if she requires it. You don’t require marriage which is why you waited so long to have this discussion and so he won’t be offering you any proposal and doesn’t think it’s worth the risk. The risk of losing you without a proposal or the risk of losing his money via marriage & divorce.
Never, ever compromise on children. And don’t have kids to pawn off to your parents. It’s NOT guaranteed they will have the kid all the time and even slight emotional neglect can cause some pretty serious issues. I wish my mam didn’t have me. Tell them to take a hike, it’s your body and it’s your choice, you don’t even have a job how do they expect you to financially support it?
I’m going to weigh in a bit differently. I was 27 when my BF of 5 years broke up with me because he thought I wanted to get married and he wasn’t sure.
After we broke up, and I moved to a different province, he changed his mind. He was, in general, anti-marriage. I moved on, but it took him a few years. He told me it was something he regretted but once he’d broken us up, there was no way to repair it.
So take a har look at yourself. What are you really hesitating about? Do you want to risk losing her forever? Because chances are good that is what will happen. Do you think there’s going to be someone better who will put up with you working a lot of hours and coming home drained? It sounds like a good relationship.
U/Biggymacsauce you used a phrase that was is really critical… “we worked things out TOGETHER”. It’s a really simple and very difficult to achieve.
Does she have your back? Do you have hers?
Life is sometimes about taking chances and risks.
So, do we know anything yet. U have Reddit invested.
Color him gone immediately. Whatever he is or does, you aren't happy and the prospect for changing his behavior is nil. Also … this is an LDR which is a nonstarter anyway. You deserve to be happy and time with him doesn't cut it.
I stated I would support her no matter what. But it isn’t the life style she wanted- she always said she wanted to be a mother but ever this early in life and originally agreed with me that it wasn’t the right thing for her at that moment in time.