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BOTH SQURIT ON EACHOTHERS #teen #new #feet #mistress #young [444 tokens remaining]
Date: January 2, 2023
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I really think she has OCD. She needs to see a professional to be diagnosed and receive help to resolve this. I also wonder because from what you described if she may be having a manic episode. I’ve been there and it’s really very hot to accurately see what I was doing and find my way out of it. Thank goodness I got help. It’s a state of mind that’s torturous. I wish you both the best of luck.
Been together officially a year, but unofficially for 2. Lots of sex has happened and i’ve came to the conclusion i hate it
I think you already apologised unless there’s stuff you’re leaving out.
It sounds like your partner was a main part of why you felt left out. They’ll always be close and disagreements with family can really drag a relationship down. Does your partner truly have your back?
Hun… you’re setting the example of “it’s ok for my partner to treat me poorly” for your child. Is that what you want them to grow up to see?
Im 50. Cheaters don’t change
Are they exes or had something going on between them? It totally sounded like once of these weird dom sub relationship style
I think the emphasis on smoking in my flat has been misunderstood – that’s when the problems arose, and how I began to see he had an addiction (he was willing to lie and disrespect me over it, something which had never happened before), that isn’t the issue now. The issue is now he is completely unable to stop despite him saying himself he wants to, but I’m not sure how I can best support him to stop when nothing seems to work so far
BZZT.
She cared more about you than he did. She felt the guilt he didn't. She is a better person than he is. I'm sorry I don't think you come back from that. Why would you want to spend your life with someone who cares so little for you anyway. Some random girl he was fucking cared more…. ugh
You deserve better, girl ????
Rather than telling OP she must do this, I'm trying to convey ways to engage in the safe behaviours if she decides to follow through with the friendship. I don't think getting combative about it with her conveys caring about her wellbeing
It’s was months ago I’m over it
This wreaks of him having done this in the past, the way his mom immediately texted OP trying to do damage control. I would bet my bottom dollar he has done this or something like it to someone else before. The mom made him tell her what he did and she knows it was a SA so its desperate to brush it under the rug.
Don't bother telling the gf. Just take care of yourself. You've been made a fool of. That's ok! It happens to all of us! Forgive yourself. Don't waste another thought on this guy and on stalking his girlfriend to let her know he's a bum. That's not necessary and you should instead devote yourself to your own happiness.
Firstly it isn’t a gear cupboard. Do you know how rinks are built? They most likely have 2 separate gendered bathrooms as clearly stated in the post. The rink is probably used for children sports too where they will legally need separate locker rooms. And even if not a rink will have home and guest lockers rooms, which during practice would be male and female locker rooms if you’ve ever played on coed teams for anything. And we don’t know if there are 10 other women or just the 1, but we know there’s atleast one and she is separating herself from other women on purpose. She is neglecting her partner and his concerns and has already show she doesn’t care about compromise or her relationship
If it’s a large bottle with a small opening, this might be the easiest way to get the pills. It makes sense to me.
There probably is an ego component, yeah, but some people never do develop crushes outside their relationships. Maybe it's human instinct, but it's by no means universal. And those who don't have feelings for others really have a very hot time understanding those who do.
Well, they know my sexual history already. Long term relationship was with their friend. I just don’t like the uncertainty, I’d rather just have a conversation about it and see where their mind is at, yk?
Yeah, you're right, you have equal a-holes on both sides.
Weird as shit thing to say
True.
I’d ask myself if he is worth your time and if it makes me happy. If not why waste the time on him when you can find someone who would be worth your time and make you happy? IMO you don’t sound happy.
What’s love got to do with it when he’s clearly stating he want them all to be sex buddies/partners?
Never agree to such dangerous nonsense! My ex husband was trying to get me to have threesomes as well, and I knew without a doubt at that point, there’s no way he could be in love with me, nor love me, while willing to share me with others and risk our health for temporary pleasures. I wouldn’t even call this pleasurable, it’s downright disgusting!
I'll probably get downvoted, but it is her house and although you should have privacy, you are also still on her property. She gets to set the rules.
Make your bed so she doesn't see a need Do your own laundry from now on — tell her that is your plan then do it. Stop leaving dirty glasses in your room — you're 20 find a way to remember to take your meds that doesn't include hoarding dirty glasses
If you want to be treated with respect you really need to step up more — she clearly doesn't think what you are doing is enough.
You really believe he did it the first time to find parties?
Wild that it took until the fourth paragraph (and second listed reservation) to find out he's recently married. Really buried the lede here. You need to put aside your crush and set some boundaries before this gets extremely messy.
blah blah blah Exactly. just happened to me. friends? lmao
You don’t tell them. If you care for them at all, you don’t say a damn thing. My M-I-L got told that shit when she was growing up. It fucked her up worse than anything else that she endured in a rotten environment.
Just tell him “No” and end the relationship so both of you can continue on with your lives.
I assume “closer” means you would be moving in together? Either you would move to his country or he move to yours. Is this what you are not ready for? Is he expecting you to move to his country?
Again, I don’t think that this means you need to say no to the engagement if you intend to marry him eventually. It seems like a bigger conversation about expectations and just explaining what you are feeling and why.
So you get immediately wet when you see your SO or are about to have sex?
Men aren't machines either. It happens every now and then that someone can't get very hot, no matter how aroused they are. Stress, fatigue, medication, alcohol….tons of reasons.
No borderline, he's crossed right over. It's too disgusting for words. His own daughter.
OP is your name Ivanka?
Hey I’m so sorry you’re going through this – this is NOT a man who loves you or cares about you. He’s just using you and you deserve so much better – and trust me, you WILL find so much better.
I know you love him, but imagine the amount of love you can give to someone who actually loves you back. Who cuddles you when you don’t want to have sex, who tells you you’re the only person they ever want rather than wanting another girlfriend, who cooks for you and does dishes just as you did for him, who hugs you and tells you he loves you when you’re depressed. That person exists, and it’s definitely not him.
Please leave and get support from people around you (friends / family / therapy). He won’t change. He’s already 44. This is who he is and he’s abusive and a horribly unkind human.
Absolutely not, no
Agree. Having had a parent who pulled this, it smells.
Why are you calling it her celibate phase? You’re reducing her to sex
I don't think I know enough about his specific degree. I have a PhD in a psych-adjacent field (it's research based, not clinical) and got a masters along the way. I know if I'd stopped with just a masters it would have been worthless, and a research-based masters in psych usually doesn't lead to a better job than a psych BA. But if he can work as a therapist with this degree, that is a totally different ball game.
It is my problem considering I spent my years with him and even conceived a daughter together.
I don't think you are crazy. I can see how you feel, a mom doesnt have to talk about her son's sexual activity in front of his wife. It's not wrong, but if you are not comfortable it should not happen. Would you be more comfortable being intimate if no one ever mentionned it? Maybe bring that up. “I'm kind of in the mood right now, but we both know your mom will make a big deal about it tomorrow morning so it's kind of a turn off.” Or maybe talk to your MIL and straight up tell her.
I don't think you are crazy. I can see how you feel, a mom doesnt have to talk about her son's sexual activity in front of his wife. It's not wrong, but if you are not comfortable it should not happen. Would you be more comfortable being intimate if no one ever mentionned it? Maybe bring that up. “I'm kind of in the mood right now, but we both know your mom will make a big deal about it tomorrow morning so it's kind of a turn off.” Or maybe talk to your MIL and straight up tell her.
Oh, honey. This is a manipulative bid for increased control.
Grown ass mature men don't rage quit their jobs to prove a stupid point.
You can do SO much better. Please chuck this misogynistic fish back into the sea.
Break up with her. You'll be glad you did when you find someone willing to dedicate herself to you.
Like just normal photos? You realize people have a past right? You’re allowed to keep pictures of your life.
The other stuff is a big red flag though
Well bro, yor screwed for the next 18 years financially, so may as well at least try to be a decent dad ok. So atleast one good thing can come of this mess.
Well 2 because ya gf gets the baby she wanted too
You did this in the wrong order. You should’ve told your younger brother and his gf first. Now you have your older brother time to move or delete the evidence. Still tell your brother and his gf together.
Then there you go, and that’s great that you’ve already dealt with this with family. So you know the problem, and have the tools to address it. Youve got this.
Stop looking. Block her, for your own sanity.
She's gaining followers because she's recently single and guys think with their dicks.
Valentines day is on a Tuesday this year. Just plan something special for a different day
He does things that confuse me and speak beyond friendship. But yes, it’s none of my business. I will not say anything but the things he does and says makes me think he wants to reconcile at some point and this ruins that opportunity for me which is why I thought to speak to him about rather than bring it up later. I know it’s on me to create boundary. Why introduce me to his sister after the break-up? Why offer me to stay at his home when I didn’t ask? Why check on me daily to communicate? If that’s all him just being friends, then I’m not ready for it, and you all are helping me see that more clearly. I do need to go no contact even if that’s not what he wants
Here's the problem: no matter what you say, he's going to blow up and try to turn things back around on you. Even if you say it in the nicest, most professional way possible. He only wants someone who is submissive, not someone with actual thoughts and feelings. He wants a bang maid who will never question him. Which is why he went after someone barely legal after his last relationship. I'm sorry to say this, and I know it's very hot to hear. It's not your fault for falling into something like this. Try to remember that you are in control of your own life, even if he makes you feel the opposite. You could have sooo much better than this dude, and he knows it, which is why he tries to tear you down all the time.
I mean it's casual so I don't expect him to be and I don't want a boyfriend but yea would feel nice to feel wanted lol. Especially as it didn't start as just fuck buddy's. Not sure how to proceed
I think you mean dom/sub (or more of a switch situation) top and bottom refers to gay sex
Me and my wife are both rather money-saving people, but at the same time I also don't save on the kids and don't believe that's the right thing to do.
A child doesn't really understand and doesn't appreciate that if they don't eat a chocolate bar for 30 days they can get “something big” later. It just makes their life miserable imo. My advise would be to save on yourself and splurge on the kids. Saving and buying expensive things is great and all, but you're only a kid once, and if you can't have a nice snack here and there it's just a shit time. Maybe discuss this with the wife and have her agree on that too, if possible.
As for the savings part – it's great to have them for sure, but times are very hot and I'd honestly prioritize keeping your life on the same level as it used to be versus increasing your savings by a lot. Again, it's great to have savings but a drastic decrease in the quality of your life will have a toll on your mental health. You didn't provide any numbers obviously, but I assume you already have a significant amount amassed for the rainy day. If that's the case, then it's fine if you can't save much more for a while. As long as you aren't eating into these savings on daily basis you're much better off than the vast majority of people who don't have significant savings of any kind at all.
Also, the funny thing is that the rampant inflation devalues your savings, so to an extent it's kind of better to spend today, because tomorrow it's all worth less.
She's 18 yrs old, of course she did. Now she sees that she can't handle being with an older man who has been with multiple women and that's ok. You should be glad to hopefully find someone else (older) who is more on your level. Well wishes Hun.
When we found out that his girlfriend was pregnant, we told him that we were here, but don't expect us to take over.
I love the both of them deeply and will never deny help to my son when he is clearly in distress.
You kind of already did deny it. It's probably why he hasn't asked and is reluctant. I think if you want him to accept your help you probably need to be all in with it.
Except the clarity I provided was already in the post to begin with and is already implied.
Its pretty obvious in a normal relationship, a typical couple does not need to spend the night every single night and they understand that one may have some things to do in the morning such as an appointment. But they still hangout regardless with the time they have. It would be odd if they don't understand that, which is why I asked the question in my post
I thought that much would be understood by someone who seems to be typing to me in a condescending tone while making snide remarks but I seem to be mistaken.
You need to reread my post properly, give a proper, and learn to not be so combative. Like cmon, we're adults here, act like one at least.
Then do it. Yes, break up. There's nothing silly about it. You've told him about it repeatedly and its fallen on deaf ears as he chooses not to improve the cleaning so why suffer for his inadequacies?
I would ask her to take one
Threesome is the obvious answer
You know what
Fuck everyone here
Go, go for it, go rock up at your ex's door and let him say all the things you want to hear and let him in completely into your life
Fuck your husband what does he know, this other guy was the love of your life! What if it's still true! How dare the husband get in the way of your happiness with this other guy? Girl power!
Fuckin idiot
Just awful, so sorry to hear this.
Very possibly, I hope so for the poor girl's sake.
True
If that's the case I see a divorce coming shortly.
????????❤️
I've been that hoe friend and have many hoe friends. Your judgements aren't helping her. People behave like this because they want love and a connection and are unsure how to get that. Us hoes are usually lonely and sad in general. We don't feel good enough to be loved. Guys like that are good at manipulating girls to feel like they are special. They usually pressure girls into putting out quick and then trash them straight after. It's easy to be caught up in the moment and fall for their tricks. It's fine to give advice but don't paint this poor girl as if she's a bad person just because she doesn't behave in the way you would. You're going to damage her more than the guys do if you dump her as a friend.
My boyfriend and I trade off making dinners 4 nights/week, have 2 leftover nights/week and have date night the other night so we either cook together, order in, or go out pending budget. We also spend time planning out our menu and go shopping together.
We both work, we're both busy people. Cooking is fun but it can be a chore, and chores shouldn't fall onto one person in a relationship. I'd try suggesting a schedule similar to the one my boyfriend and I use. If not then only cook for yourself and he can fend for himself.
I don't think she's saying you're not committed to the relationship because of the job interview, it's everything before that with the interview being the last straw. The not wanting to live! together & maybe not wanting to be involved in raising her daughter if that's something she'd like.
You deserve so much better than this, I am sorry your husband hurt you and betrayed your trust. It is a despicable thing to do when you are so emotionally and physical drained.
If you have anyone you can reach out to for support I encourage you to do so.
It’s as easy as that!
Also houses in cold-wet climates need to be heated on the winters to keep them from decaying or growing mold. That’s why abandoned houses tall apart so quick. I don’t know that he’s taking care of his biggest asset very well.
From an economical point, this is just the right time to act.
Your kids are all grown, they are not as dependant on their father anymore.
Since you are married for 20 years, this is time you are supposed to prepare for your retirement and medical issues will slowly begin to creep in.
However, since he has many other mouths to feed on, he will take and take and take and will leave you destitude and alone. He already sounds like a torture to live! with it will get worse. This is the perfect time to jump from this sunken ship, you are free now.
Dont worry about his denial, all cheaters deny everything at first, it is a wonder you managed to find this much evidence in the first place. Then they blame/say they are sorry/get angry etc. It is a well known scripts, all cheaters behave similar.
Hire a private detective, they will give you full report in a week. Go to court and destroy him.
Dont worry about your kids reaction do you honestly think they are so selfish to demand you to stay married when your husband has stolen from them and gave all that money to affair kids? How do you think they will react when they find out their college money is gone?
Really?
His parents opinions are not worth the paper it is written. He is their son, they will always support him, they dont have a choice.
Sleep seperate
If she needs to move out, she won't find an apartment in NYC for under $1k. She will need to pay $4500 upfront. Her bills will grow for everything.
Think carefully. Not only your parents will be homeless, you will be homeless too.
I would do it, but I would progresively start paying more attention during sex and daytime to the friend than to the wife, slowly show her how her stupidity ruined the marriage and how she became expendable.
Better not to speculate – it could be something ugly like he got interested in someone else.
This is my cheapest option that’s why I’m here. I also have medical issues that have been exacerbated the last few years.
I guess when I look at it if gift buying was a love language maybe he’d try to buy me foods that are more in like with me diet and etc. which he does sometimes.
I don’t mind the occasional chocolate here and there but getting brought home burgers when I don’t ask for them makes me uncomfortable.
Other people have mentioned that but I guess I find it very hot to believe because what could he possibly gain by sabotaging my fitness journey? I’d just gain weight
When I was 16 I romanticized Erik. Once I hit 20 I realized that no, that dude totally deserves to live! in a basement.
Those of you complaining obviously are not married. It's about oh, my husband suddenly went radio silent for hours, I check his location, and oh guess what, his car is in a ravine and he's unconscious. It's not about bodily autonomy or privacy, it's about being a whole grown ass man and realizing that when you marry someone, everything is not on strictly your terms anymore. That you don't get to disappear for hours and not answer the phone without your spouse knowing what's going on. It's an ADULT thing, not a surveillance thing. If you don't want your spouse knowing where you are, there's likely a sinister reason for it. And I don't really give a f if anyone agrees with me. I've been married for 8 years and my husband can pick up my phone or read my social media DMs, email whenever he wants. If you want to hide shit from the person you're supposed to be with forever, what are you even doing.
Yeah that sounds like some bullshit. Real talk is this guy worth the stress? You are young this the best time for a woman imo. No kids and the biological clock isn't ticking(not that you have to reproduce ever). As long as you pay your bills on time have fun and don't waste time on people who will drag you down.
OP you can care for someone, but still recognise that they are not the person for you. In this case it sounds like your relationship may be coming to a natural end and that’s ok.
He’s not your person, but your person is out there. If you’re not feeling the attraction anymore it’s better to consider if it’s the relationship you want to be in or if you end it amicably and give both of you the chance to find someone better suited to you
You need to move on. Why are you wasting time now? You've learned more about his personality and don't like it. Both of you need to find people you get along with better than this.
Yes, unfortunately, you are correct. My youngest daughter has threatened suicide on many occasions over the years. One specific instance comes to mind when my son invited me to dinner at a restaurant but did not invite my youngest daughter (and even if he had, she would not have attended). The morning of the dinner, my youngest daughter threatened suicide, and I ultimately did not attend the dinner. It is disappointing because I only get to see my son a few times a year, whereas I am with my daughter every day.
It is a challenging situation because my older children invite my youngest daughter to nearly everything they plan, and she declines every time. But when they don't invite her, she reacts with threats of suicide or a massive fit about the family not supporting her. It's a difficult and delicate balance to maintain.
Be honest: The most important thing is to be honest with his female friend. He should let her know how he feels and that he doesn't want to lead her on or be disingenuous. Clarify his intentions: He should clarify his intentions with her and make sure that they are on the same page. If he wants to maintain a platonic friendship, he should let her know that and make sure she understands. Avoid mixed signals: He should be careful to avoid sending mixed signals. He should avoid flirting or leading her on, and should make sure his actions are consistent with his words. Be respectful: He should be respectful of her feelings and be willing to listen to her perspective. It's important to maintain a positive and respectful relationship, even if they don't share romantic feelings. Give her space: If she needs space or time to process her feelings, he should give her that space and respect her boundaries. He should also be prepared for the possibility that she may need to take a step back from the friendship for a while. Overall, the key is to communicate honestly and openly with his female friend, while also being respectful of her feelings and boundaries.