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ALL GOALS MET [Multi Goal]
Date: January 2, 2023
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So do you online together? Is it her place? If so, yes work out a place to stay, then pack and leave. Then block her.
If it's both of you on a lease, you need to organise things a little more – who will leave, who can afford what, etc.
Honestly, you are both so young. She was really immature showing zero understanding of what it means to be an adult.
That bit about “make her enjoy life again” – that's a nope. No one is there to make her enjoy her life again… like she's old đ
Work out a way to break up, block her from your life, move on – sure this probably hurts now, but you do not need someone saying this stuff to you!
We have said to eachother that we can look at anything on each others phones, and he has specifically said that i can check his accounts when heâs previously begged me to stay after stuff like this
The two of you were not in a monogamous relationship. Both of you were free to do what/who you wanted. She utilized her opportunity to explore other options. In the end she chose you. Sounds like she felt differently about you than she did the other guy because she took time building a connection with you.
If you didnât feel some sort of guilt and pain while separating from someone you have this much time invested in, youâd need your head checked! Itâs fine to feel that way/be sad, even if youâre the one that ended things.
Youâve given him a golden opportunity to follow his dreams and he wonât even pay his phone bill on time. Iâm willing to be youâve never had the opportunity to sit on your ass and do very little as an adult. Why should he?
Imagine your child came to you with this same laundry list of shitty behaviors theyâve encountered with their partner. Would you encourage them to tough it out? Of course not. You donât need to either. Itâs okay to leave when youâre not happy and being taken advantage of.
She should never ever drink again
Yup. Either way, if she wants to be with him, definitely shouldn't go to the party where:
Her ex is having likely the most influence (atleast that's how it sounds like and I wouldn't be comfortable with her going there even if the ex wasn't from the same college) On top of that, people they know who are going are very much disrespectful (? I dunno if that's the right word but they definitely are hostile towards him in a sense) towards the “significant other” of hers. Idc if she's in good terms with both sides, she needs to choose. Can't have your cake and eat it etc etc.
This is what I came to say â the best case scenario is heâs uncomfortable sharing a hobby of his; OP, I truly hope thatâs what this is. Because if theyâre not for him, theyâre likely not for you either⌠:/ doesnât look good.
Yeah or just plan for him to come over to your place instead of going home or something!
Thatâs true. My partner definitely considers it sex as well and so do I. But I have to specify foreplay because many men do not even do this step of sex and do not consider it at all with their partners, Instead just having sex through normal penetration means. The term âForeplayâ does technically describe a type of sexual action(s) which needs to be specified for some men to do. Iâm assuming OP doesnât do this type of sex with the way he wrote his post.
Dude. YOU asked for unprotected sex knowing she wasnât on birth control because she told you she wasnât. YOU decided to ejaculate inside of her instead of pulling out (I know itâs not a good birth control method, but if youâre not gonna wear a condom then donât ejaculate inside a vagina). YOU requested these situations and enacted them.
Do not try to act like she âbaby-trappedâ you or this was so unexpected, especially since YOU were wanting to marry her for a visa.
Ask for a paternity test, then take responsibility for your choices if she keeps the pregnancy. That doesnât mean you have to visit the kid, but you are responsible for paying child support. You can go ahead and act like you donât have a kid all you like in your personal life, and effectively not be a parent. Ask for a custody arrangement where she has full legal & physical custody & all medical decision making power without your input at all, and child support will be decided based on your income. It will be a paltry amount compared to what she will be paying for the kid, but who knows? Maybe itâll cover one day of daycare per month or a 3 pack of diapers per month. Still your responsibility.
If you were worried about producing a âbastardâ so much, then you shouldnât have been begging for unprotected sex.
Why do you want to be with someone who clearly does not like you the way you want her to?
As a wife currently on a diet, you have nothing to apologize for but I would talk to her about this. 1) You asked multiple times. You wanted to respect her diet. You respected the No. 2) If she wants something she is going to need to learn to ask for it and not assume you can read minds. If you asked if she wanted it then youâre the unsupportive husband who is ruining her diet by tempting her. Her actions are not cute, just annoying and you are in a lose lose.
You can have an attraction to another person while in a relationship, where it becomes a problem is when you are so afraid of acting on that attraction that you tell your SO, switch branches and need to go to therapy. What the fuck type of shit is this. You need to avoid this person completely to keep from ripping off your clothes and throwing yourself at him/her? It's entirely the partners fault.
Yes. You are way too dependent on your parents.
I got pregnant and we had to get married because of our families, not bc I wanted to get marriedâŚ
All she said was she wished she couldâve been there for his birthday ? âlet him breatheâ youâre almost as dramatic as the bf
Yeah, the pesky thing about responding others on Reddit is that chances they will respond back, especially if they are attempting to clear up a possible misunderstanding, are excellent. And because you decided to accuse me of something I did not do, I went and put in bold the part you did not read.
I would definitely say something versus ghosting, in the moment it might hurt them more but long term it'll be better for both of you to have a proper ending to the relationship, and for them to understand why.
I think you should work on writing out what you want to say first, so you don't say too much or too little. I think it's better to do in person; I'd probably end up reading directly from what I wrote so I didn't mess it up. If you really can't do it in person then you already have what to text ready to go.
This is too much drama
This was the right call.
I mean hey, his exes probably donât just hang around for no reason
(Iâm just making light of the situation Iâm obviously gonna block this guy thanks for the comments haha)
Not saying what is happening. Reading from other stories like yours. She asks for a break. Durring that break she dates other people. But I agree with another saying give the relationship a break dont contact her until after a few weeks.
Has there been any other red flags is to her possibly cheating? It is weird how she hits the new not disturb when sheâs home and turns it back on when youâre gone the way she holds her phone and all is questionable. If there are no other signs, and maybe you should sit down with her and have a conversation of what sheâs doing. Looks like sheâs having a affair And what thatâs doing to your relationship you might want to ask her to share her phone with you to see how she reacts if she has nothing to hide then she has nothing to hide. Iâm not sure as to how this could play out, it could actually backfire on you with her, taking her affair underground if there is actually one. I know if people get all weirded out about snooping bye probably gonna be your best bet to find out if sheâs actually cheating or not. In a relationship yes you could have privacy but no, you canât have secrets.
Dude just call from a pay phone or have a friend she doesnât really know call and ask about this good time. It will tell you all you need to know.
First, have her get an STD test.
Second, lawyer up and move on. Trust is broken. It doesn't sound like she was even remorseful, she gave excuses as to why she cheated instead of owning her behavior. You will never be able to look at her the same way again. You might think you can move on, but the pain and memory of her having sex with another man will always be there.
I wonder about his childhood. The main place we learn to value ourselves is from how our parents treat us growing up. That sort of forms the backbone for how our self respect develops, and if it's denied in some way you tend to end up with people who don't know their worth and will tolerate any kind of poor treatment as long as the people treating them poorly will occasionally make halfassed apologies.
You havenât really said why you want to break up? It seems you both get along well, you like being with her, sheâs great, and sheâs been there for you. But overall if youâre willing to toss her then in the long run itâs better for her not to be with someone who doesnât really love her and is wasting her time. Itâs better for her to know now if youâre not really committed to her. Itâs unfair of her to keep wasting her time with you. She can do better. I would sit down with her and tell her how much you appreciate everything that sheâs done for you and how youâve cherished all your time together, but looking forward to the future you just donât see it working between the two of you because you just donât love her enough to make a lifelong commitment so itâs better to end things now. Then offered to go stay at a friends house for a few weeks so she can have time to make arrangements and pack her stuff without you there. You should offer to pay for her plane ticket or moving expenses as Iâm sure she went through a lot supporting you through the tough time.
this morning
Do some dudes really expect a vagina to be as fresh as a rose in the morning? Tell him to check himself. Vagina gets morning breath too ?
Move out. Just visit often.
If she has medical issues, you can put her in assisted living if you guys have em.
Try to check if there are social workers that can routinely visit if you're worried.
Do you wash other things (your clothes or towels, for example) super infrequently, too? Or what part do you HATE?
Yes it absolutely does matter! There is an entire world of difference between asking someone out and asking someone to be your on demand fuck buddy, and if you still canât see that, then youâve learned nothing.
I can guarantee this drama wouldnât have been happening if youâd just asked her out for lunch. She would probably still have rejected you, but she wouldnât be as hurt and humiliated and you wouldnât have come off as a giant creep.
He has admitted to rape after the fact on a phone call with you. Try and get evidence of it, recorded phone call or via text.
Okay, this will probably get lost in the sea of the comments, but, and bear with me here, does your bf use or has used drugs before?
A certain category of drugs called Pyrrovalerones have this distinct cat piss or semen smell that lingers forever, on objects and on people. And it doesnât fucking go away.
Has he ever looked off, as in high? Twitchy? Missing sleep at night or being on edge? Can you find pieces of foil scattered around or maybe a round glass pipe?
Itâs probably not this, but if is, you canât know how sorry I am.
Find someone who you can easily control this way youâll be happy with a puppet partner
Yeah, thatâs weird. Going to her exes house late at night? You know what to do man
I get what you're saying that the length of time together had no bearing on how sure you are since it's impossible to know. I think from my perspective it's more like, yes I can't ever know for sure if I'm going to be with someone until I die. I've never felt this sure though, and therefore I believe we'll be together. It's always a gamble in any relationship, but I personally feel like it's less of a gamble with this man. Either way, I really didn't think waiting a year and half to get engaged and two and half years to get married was considered rushing. Eventually I would like to have kids and I'll be 27 soon. This is not a deciding factor for me, but if I did decide to wait 5 years to get engaged, then I'd be about 32 or 33 by the time I get married. It makes having a family a little harder at that age.
Also, to be honest, both of us are individually well off. I know when you get down to the actual paperwork of it that marriage is a legal agreement. Neither of us really feel constrained about worrying about waiting for marriage until it will work well for our taxes, health insurance, life insurance, etc. since we're both financially in good places. We'd both get a pre-nup beforehand to protect our own assets.
You two are not on the same page here at all. First. Why on earth have this conversation with anyone else around but you and him. He's going to feel ganged up on and not actually speak from the heart.
Second, seems like you two not only have two different timelines for when you should get married but two different economic realities and plans. that should be a discussion that is had separate from marriage.
Last If you are in a rush to marry and he is not, you should move on. He's not ready. Doesn't want to be ready. A rushed marriage is a quick marriage.
Everything in the relationship is not perfect, then ? Iâm sorry he treated you like this and then tried to act like you were wrong