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Alisa, y.o.
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Date: January 4, 2023
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What she does is a trauma response. And she gathers information to try to see your perspective. We can “clearly see something” and not see what the other person sees. I do this, too. And my husband knows this. But it wasn’t his responses or how he acts that makes me react this way, it’s past trauma and so I am trying to do better. But sometimes these questions do alter how I feel about the situation and makes me think “hey, it’s all good. I’ll leave it alone”. And go on about my day.
In your response when you say “hmm, let me clarify” or whatever you said, and then proceeded to say the same thing you posted tells me that you really just want it to stop. But it won’t. And it also tells me you have a tendency to snap at her or repeat yourself back to her in a condescending tone. And being that it’s your only response, it’s your way or the high way. And this is how it is. You aren’t trying to understand why she does it or fix what you’re doing to solve it, you just want her to stop while she just doesn’t want to be barked at. So she is losing, either way. So looks like you’re going to continue in this loop til you decide to have a better understanding of where she is coming from.
I said that's what he sounds like… not what i think…
Omg. Meant bath towel! Sorry edited my post.
Apologize for the lie and build the trust back
Why does it matter, seriously?
At the most you mean?
Obviously, but you recognize that that’s your issue. Your husband hasn’t done anything wrong in this case. He’s got a fetish but otherwise respects you and honors your wishes in a loving consensual relationship.
But definitely she's allowed to interpret that as he's hiding something, when she has been as open one can expect.
Consent should not be used as an excuse to obfuscate. For all she knows he's hiding something nasty
Yeah that’s a you problem. Have you considered therapy?
Ugh these are the worst types of recovering alcoholics/addicts. My theory is that they are just trading one addiction for another that is technically healthier but insufferable. I would just break up with the guy because you are no longer happy or compatible.
It’s possible she gave it to him lmao
I'm a 40 year old man and trim my business. If I don't, the hair gets out of control and unsightly. It's also less smelly that way, and I prefer the way it looks.
Plenty of reasons for it that don't involve cheating.
Glad you were able to get through that.
I had an abusive ex that would sit me down daily and tell me how stupid I am. Now I don't tolerate it, and honestly I get super angry when people use insults like that.
Words hurt. Words used daily that describe you in a negative way cause long-term damage. And you don't notice the damage because it's all internal.
Yall need to Grey rock this motherfker and his parents, refuse entry and refuse to entertain any conversation about it.
He is so infantile. I'd be tempted to let him in and just completely ignore him, give him no attention, no seat at a table and just completely don't react.
What?
Last time he went to the urologist, he had some questions he’d wanted to ask, but the urologist never answered any. I was thinking that maybe I can help with pushing for answers in case his endocrinologist does this. It’s honestly not a good feeling to have questions answered and just be handed a diagnosis
Thank you very much! 🙂
The nude truth I needed to hear ?
Well, how long has it been? And if she is breaking up with you why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want you?
So, you're too young.
Second, “I want him to treat her like a neighbourd, not a mother”. Yeah, Bad news, that's his mother.
And I wouldn't want to move in either
It’s just. Be very careful – I’ve been here and it didn’t last longer than 3-4 months, on both occasions (two different girls, different time of life).
Don’t see him anymore. You don’t ‘need’ it. You have what you want already. Anything more will destroy everything.
You HAVE to block him out to your life and socials. Let him meet someone else.
That first part is powerful