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1. I don't understand why they're still considered the boyfriend's shirts if they were left behind at their house and neither the daughter nor the boyfriend care about getting them back. How many washings does it take to remove the boyfriend's aura from some t-shirts he doesn't want anymore? Plus OP said “she” left the shirts at his house, not “he” – so isn't it just as likely that the stepdaughter was the most recent wearer of the shirts? What I think happened is this kid retired some t-shirts. His girlfriend started wearing them to bed and left them at her mom's house. And now his girlfriend's stepdad is being weird.

   If some old shirts were forgotten, and they online far away and rarely visit, and the shirts have been laundered – the shirts have been absorbed into OP's household, shed their old aura, and the wife is probably not longing for the boyfriend (or some other man) every time she puts one on. Especially because she's 40 and not 16. It's not his letterman jacket or a locket with his initials!

   If he absolutely can prove that the t-shirts entered the house in some other way, fine, it's weird. But otherwise, this is just a practical women with a strong sense of property rights over aura and wants to be warmer at night without stealing her husband's clothes. If OP wants her to wear his shirts to bed he should give her one. I didn't know until adulthood that men secretly like when women steal and wear their clothes, maybe OP's wife doesn't know that and deeply respects her husband's t-shirt drawer.

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