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Birth Date: 1995-11-02
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Ethnicity: ethnicityIndian
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Date: January 6, 2023
A lot of people don’t really care for all that mess. I’ll be sellin my house soon enough and buying 20 acres of woods, build a house in the center and start a small farm like I was raised on. Public can fuck off. Just waiting for most of the 4 kids we have to move out.
That's what she says.
Do you have the money to buy your own place? Have you put money into the down payment of this condo?
If no, then you’re just renting. But from your boyfriend rather than another landlord.
So why would he put his tenant’s name on the deed and mortgage?
There's pretty much zero chance you could keep a friendship after kicking out a pregnant roommate. You'd also be a terrible person to kick out a pregnant roommate. You either take on an incredible level of responsibility which includes reining ypur dog in because he can't have the freedom he probably has become accustomed to with a baby around or you move out. Really you gotta move out.
Ftr, I'm a dog owner and a mother of two. My dog is gentle and wonderful but I don't leave my dog and my baby alone ever. Babies play on the floor a lot, climb, crawl etc. Do you currently let your dog in the areas main living space when you're not home? I doubt you can do that anymore if there's a baby living there.
This fight is not about the pillow
I find it weird that u guys online together and he was very much “I paid for it.”
Are Financials one sided?
Ahh I see. I do gotta ask though, what about the illusion corresponds with bad decisions and feelings? I have never researched this stuff before, sorry if I'm asking alot
All I could suggest is couples therapy. It seems like you were pretty happy but he lied to you… he broke your trust and made you second guess 11 years of marriage. If you want to selvage the marriage, couples therapy. I think you can work through it with him, though I may be biased as a child of divorce ?
Your husband doesn’t see it as a joke- he’s being wilfully malicious.
Ask him why he feels the need to kick people when they’re down next time (and there will be a next time) he does it.
You should be good enough but it looks like that isn’t the case. You both don’t seem happy so where to go from here?
Maybe try therapy. There seems to be a considerable gap in communications and the level of trust that should be there in a marriage isn’t. Therapy could help.
Is it a total loss? Possibly.
Tell her you want to exhaust all avenues. Tell her you’d like to consider therapy and see if you can work this out. If she doesn’t reply and says no, sign the papers and walk away. No point trying to fix the unfixable.
I think the issue has less to do with age and more to do with the fact they got married too early in their relationship.
She always apologizes later on when she realizes what she said was hurtful and simply says “Don't pay attention, you know I'm just mean”. But she keeps repeating these things then.
When I went to USA alone for a 21-day vacation, I spent most of my time only in NYC and then a bit in LA. When I came back I was telling her stories and how much relaxed and energizing this trip was for me and that it was probably my best trip ever and then tells me: “So you basically wasted 3 weeks of being in USA seeing nothing in just 2 cities? If I was you I would have seen half of the country”….
I'm just trying to understand her behavior, because otherwise she is caring, kind, loving, considerate, really understanding, we get along well, we online together. But she just doesn't believe me when I say certain things make me happy, for her it should be all about 'traveling' and going from A to Z and checking off a huge list of attractions.
Goat or boat
married people can still have crushes on other people
just because you haven't yet doesn't mean that you won't ever
she dealt with her crush with the utmost respect for you…and you want to bail?…you're reneging on your vows…when she said 'thick and thin' she meant it, but i guess you were just talking shit
I was in a frat for a year and a half it’s weird how many dudes are like “na that shits gay ?”
Like bro you are literally making a woman climax how’s it gay
“Cuz you’re being submissive bruh”
That is sexual assault.
Probably the worst stupidest course of action you could take. Let her explore her feeling guilt free and she gets to keep the house if it works out for her and you divorce? Best case for you is you stay together and she keeps her mind open for the next person to tickle her brain. You're deluded. Enjoy your life
Encourage your mother to hire a freelance editor to go over her work, or at least provide a quote to go over her work (if someone wants a quote, I get them to send me a 10-page sample from the middle of the book and do a complimentary assessment of that…much quicker than editing the whole book!). If a professional editor assesses her book, or at least a sample of it, and tells her how it reads, or how much it’s going to cost to go over her book and make corrections, then you’ll both have an objective opinion and a starting point.
The best possible option would be to find an editor who can edit for both English and for your mother’s native language, so they can help with translating things like idioms, but someone who just edits for English should be fine as long as they talk to your mother about how to best translate anything that is specific to her native language..
Good luck, OP! You’re absolutely right to be concerned about the translation issue. But please pass on my congratulations to your mother for writing a book…that’s a huge achievement!
I'm not sure if its just me but why does he sound a bit controlling? Y'all technically just met but he already planning a whole life together with you. He said that he wanted to take things slow but does the complete opposite. I would be careful if I was you.
Lady. His brother interrupts you during sex. I’m surprised your “fiancé” didn’t fund a plane ticket so he could join the honeymoon.
We've talked about him cutting down before, but it's never gone anywhere. I don't have an issue with smoking, it's just because I know he could never go without it, he is seriously dependent. I'll definitely try to be a bit tighter with my money if I make it that long, thank you for your comment.
Yeah I really don’t care It’s just the fact that they’re pretty long and during the act they break and get in my throat, them being just shorter would be already more enjoyable.
Your husband doesn't see you as a person but an incubator. I don't know that I could stay in a relationship like this, but if you want, then try couples counseling with someone who has experience with fertility issues.
There is not a singular thing in the world that you could do that would make you “deserve” to be abused. And yes, that’s what this is.
He WILL try to kill you one day if you ever go back. You said he’s joking, but he isn’t. Stay away for good this time.
There is one thing you can do – change everything about yourself and be a different person, because you are horrible. This was a horrible thing to do and there is no fixing it, if you do not lose this relationship it will only be because your boyfriend is too good for you and too forgiving for his own good.
Your husband put his hands on someone first. You are not victims.
Your husband put his hands on someone first. You are not victims.
You’re right. Get sober first, fix everything else later. Thank you. This was more than enough as a wake up call to never touch alcohol again.
You want to be with a controlling dick??
My advice? Laugh his ass out the door with both middle fingers up.
It will get worse. It won't get better
Then you will need to both come to some compromises and stick to them. If neither of you are able to be flexible in any way with something that important, the relationship will inevitably fail.
Actually no! Only three of the five are men.
You “partner” has shown he has no respect for you. He would have told you what was happening and you could have talked about the best way forward. Instead he has chosen money over you. He has put his work over you, so put yourself first. The company does not respect you and the other workers do not.
Unless your partner really makes up for this by putting his foot down and saying it's unfair, and pushing for your to join seeing as you have earned the business like everyone else then leave him. He cares about himself more then he ever cared for you. I'm sorry op but this man does not love or respect you.
PLEASE don't just say “Break up with her”
Kick her out.
Micro aggressions exist. You just don’t see them. You probably subconsciously hold her to a deferent standard.
Well you are trash like her, so you deserve each other.
He gave you a used gift you never wanted, and got angry at your very gentle honest feedback. I suspect they were free or very cheap, and he figured he'd score points for a “fancy” gift with minimal effort. He sounds regular, run of the mill teenage boy lazy and immature.
As of right now I wouldn't call him a friend
Honestly my husband doesn’t put the effort into learning what makes me cum. We are compatible personality-wise, but not much in the sex department. He cums in 5 min or less unfortunately, isn’t that big, and hardly ever goes down on me. I learned to adjust and he’s adjusted as much as he can too. We’ve been together for 7 years this year, so it wasn’t a deal breaker for me obviously, but I do take time on my own to tend to my needs. I’ve noticed that my sec drive has significantly lowered because of it all, but again, I made adjustments because I wanted to be with him.
I don’t think I’d say I’m leading him on, because I genuinely do like him a lot, and seeing him casually has been great. He just lives in close proximity to his family so meeting them was unavoidable.
But I feel ambivalent about what I want. I’m trying to figure it out and be as transparent and honest as I can with myself and everyone involved.
I would reach out to student services and see about counseling. Also, I know I’m going to get downvoted for this, but is she close with her parents? They may be in the dark and may be able to help her in ways that you can’t.
RUN.
It might not have, but that really isn't the point. See my previous post.
I don’t think your expectation that you can convince her to get back together with you is necessarily realistic. You can ask for closure if you want.
Updateme!
Wow dude! You are a total Ahole! First off the poor woman had a horrible and nearly deadly pregnancy while you offered virtually no support and your lovely mother told her during her suffering to just suck it up. Then you expect her to just bounce back and be the lovely happy go lucky woman that she was before she was physically and mentally traumatized. You have the nerve to be disappointed because after all of her suffering and nearing dying she doesn’t want to fulfill your fantasy of a pile more kids! Wow you need serious classes in empathy and education in how to be a supportive spouse. Not to mention she is probably suffering from PPD as well.
Your feelings are pure. Talk to her about it. I would still give her the chocolates, tell her it will be more on other occasions when you aren't donating to earthquake relief.
Your feelings are pure. Talk to her about it. I would still give her the chocolates, tell her it will be more on other occasions when you aren't donating to earthquake relief.
When you watch porn, you do it somewhere alone and you fapping on it. When you decide to watch porn it's because you want to fap.
Does she hide somewhere to read? Do you catch her masturbation everytime she read? No, because it's not the same and you failing to understand it. If it was the same she wouldn't be reading in the middle of the living room chilling on the sofa.
I think (and really hope) OP is already on his way to the realisation that this isn't normal or right.
There is a lot of great advice on here, and I hope he gets the best possible outcome for him and his child.
I would NEVER allow a partner to say “if you do x, y, and z then I'll consider marrying you”. I've had conversations along the lines of “WE need to be financially, emotionally, career stable, that means x,y,z for me, what does that mean for you?”.
Frankly if he wanted to marry you it is something you would be working towards as a couple, not a thing he decides and holds over your head to keep you motivated.
Just move on to someone who actually wants to be with you. Believe me, it is infinitely better than this indecision.
Sounds like you are only with A because B is not interested. I would want to know if I was someones back up plan
You're delusional and he will be a fool to get you a ring that expensive. How much you want him to spend on the wedding of you want a ring that much 100k? Do you not want savings a house a future?
Then there is no harm in giving it a shot, bro. Keep it simple, keep it close to your heart.
You'll be better off going your separate ways. My boyfriend is also allergic to cats, and we got 4 of them. He takes his antihistamines every day, and we vacuum every day. Hugs and loves them as if he wasn't allergic (pays the price for it though)I can't imagine him coming up to me and saying I need to get rid of them, and he already have a few people lined up. Unreal.
Poor cat is gonna get bathe every 4 days after living comfortably for 8 years.
She checks all 18 of those boxes. She needs professional help.
I need to get out of this situation. Maybe I'm an ass hole but I can't help her while I'm barely holding on myself.
I can't even tell you how much it means that you wrote all of this out for me, I've got an internet stranger looking out for me and for once I don't feel like a horrible failure of a person.
I can't afford a psychologist but I'm gonna try to save up once I can get a new place to online and get out.
I don't even think I can tell her I suspect BPD because of how she will react. I'm at a point where I might even ghost to leave. I hate it but I just need to try and take care of myself here.
Facts. Unless you’re actually into his wife his actions aren’t justified
How do you imagine you are going to get over this, she had your daughter for half the year and assuming she was not exposing your child to random strangers! This would be a separate even worse problem! That means she slept with 30 randoms in 26 weeks, she is not telling you the whole story either because that does not include dates and other activities. Your stbx was working on something but it wasn’t herself or your relationship she was being a single woman. The only reasonable reaction from you is to progress the separation into a divorce so she can continue being single. The levels of toxicity that she displays are insane and will only negatively impact your child if you stay together!
OP, the LTR was on your side. She’s been seeing guys for about 10 years. You finally found out. She’s not breaking up with this guy. Do yourself a favor and leave. This isn’t going anywhere
So you mean neither of you have metaphorical fireworks going off?
It ain’t worth it. You will regret doing it.
Reading this title i was like hmm so is this person actually lazy or is she doing everything and exhausted by it and not doing some insane fifties housewife expectations for him. Of course the latter. Fucking fuckity fuck
Counseling automatically equals taking things too seriously. Just back off and enjoy getting to know each other organically.
It's simple, don't try to change other people behaviour. You can't !
Ask him honestly.
If he keeps pressuring you, it's not consenting, it's relenting. Let him know that if he keeps it up, he's free to choose her and leave.
Yeah, I mean, divorce is the only outcome here. She's incredibly selfish. She basically wants an open relationship on her end, justifying how it's not cheating when it is, knowing full well that neither of you want an alternative relationship. So you're trapped into either accepting what she wants to do and dealing with it or just leaving. There's no point in dealing with someone like that.
Don't cook on scheduled days and tell him it will be his responsibility to provide dinner for the two of you. It will be his choice to either cook or pick up take-out from a decent restaurant.
I think you know the answer on what to do here bud. You need to find a girl that is secure enough to be with a guy that works in the industry you're in.
Good advice here overall I have a question though that I think should be addressed
When that other guy swooped in on her did that happen right in front of you? Did the other guy know that you and her were at least together and yet still made a move on her? If that’s the case I think another discussion should be shifted onto why you didn’t defend your territory in a way. Look, I’m a total pacifist and avoid confrontation at all costs but if something like that happened to me I think my natural inclination would be to at least step in the instant the other guy put his arms on her and signal to the other guy sternly that “she’s with me”. Just something to think about in more of an introspective self evaluation way
Dating a coworker is such a minefield that it's pretty standard for people to lie about it (because it can get both parties fired). But the same caveat that preaches “never date a coworker” also applies to platonic relationships between professional colleagues. It sounds like maybe you just got too personally involved with someone who you work with and that's always dangerous. People who value their careers always have to put the job ahead of the interpersonal connections they make in the office. Maybe try to be more professional with this colleague and don't get your feelings so wrapped up in it.
Don't say snitch either. You are a fully grown adult.
She used me until I was raw
Was thinking he just doesn’t have the “guys’ guy” personality or presentation. Could also be ND or a highly sensitive person. Nothing wrong with any of those! I kinda relate bc this could describe me but from the women’s side. Not in a humble brag way but that I look like I should fit in with the majority of straight women and I 10,000% don’t and have always struggled a bit with friendships. I’ve always been a few-close-friends type of person and most of my friends are queer or ND. I’m reading the HSP book now and I really relate to that a lot and it talks about how we can have difficulties with friendships so that’s why I thought of it.
Me not letting my close friends see me hot has absolutely nothing to do with me not being comfortable in myself or not trusting my friends. I am in fact very comfortable with my body and i honestly couldn't care less if my friends saw me very hot. But i know my girlfriend wouldn't feel comfortable if i basically stripped for a female friend. And i wouldn't feel comfortable with her basically stripping for a male friend. I would be “okay” with another girl taking the pictures, but If that isn't an option then i would MUCH prefer an ACTUAL profession that my girlfriend doesn't know beforehand.
My personal experience dictates no one. I'm giving my point of view. And my point of view is that being a mature wife should include thinking twice before taking “pornographic” pictures suggested by a “friend”
You did not make a mistake. You complimented someone you care about and they took it to a really weird place that no one should have been able to predict. He isn’t mentally in a place to be in a relationship if you expressing interest in him means he thinks his entire worth to you is now based on that.
He obviously has some real insecurity problems and needs to talk to a therapist. You should find one as well as your willingness to assume total blame is not healthy in the long term either.
It's like love. You know how they say you'll know when your truly in love. We're you still anxious/scared? Sure, a bit. But you knew.
It's the same way with kids. If you're not sure, you're not ready.
It’s a stupid power play people make but unfortunately some people really do abide by this shit on both sides. I think it’s less prevalent as you get older but there is a lot of social messaging out there that reinforces the don’t seem too keen / keep the upper hand dynamic that is just bullshit.
If you like her, message her. Relationships are not a contest.
Yeah my husband is pansexual and has friends of both genders. The only ones I have ever had any concern about are the ones that he has a sexual history with. I trust him and their relationships aren’t anywhere near inappropriate so I don’t mind. But it’s got nothing to do with gender IMHO. If they started getting too intimate with any friend, I’d be having a word regardless of gender.
In fact, he did once do something early on our relationship which I felt was a little close to inappropriate, we talked, I explained how that made me feel given his history, he apologised, explained his side, and we’ve not had an issue since.
But anyway, I’m trying to do more listening to others opinions where I don’t agree these days, try to understand a different perspective. Not always good at it and seems I’ve failed here!
Get a therapist, this is super dangerous you are in a toxic relationship and it could get worse if you don't learn to set reasonable boundaries now.
I know it’s her baby, but it is my grandbaby! That’s got to mean something doesn’t it? And to not even be allowed to care for my very own grandbaby!!! I’m devastated
His mom is in the picture, he's just living here and came here for his education. He will be going back during vacation time & after he's finished with college.
Considering there are other issues that are causing resentment, I think telling him she'll reconsider the relationship is just fine.
This is exactly my conclusion to it all. Thanks!
Pewny and disposable
You played stupid games and won prizes! Ha ha ha!
I like your DIL. I hope her, her husband, and two children have very happy lives without you in them.
He doesn't get to pick your dealbreakers. If he thinks it's like porn, then that's HIS thought, YOU don't have to agree, or sway your feelings to accept it.
This isn't really an argument, it's him trying to get you to break you boundaries for him. We don't do that in 2023
That’s a whole other can of worms, hun. Why did you marry so quickly? At your age it’s hot to grasp the magnitude of marrying someone.
Guilt will make you unhappy and less fun to online with. Do your husband the best favour and forgive yourself. He will not enjoy your wallowing & soul searching.
You only want to 'make it up to him' to make yourself feel better about what you did ,which is a little selfish when he has stated doesn't want or need anything from you.
You can't do anything to erase what happened. But life will send you more testing times and afford you the opportunity to be even better than you are now. Looking back will only drag you down.
Thanks. Well there's nothing to be stuck on. As it stands, you're essentially fuck buddies, but that doesn't mean it has to be that way. You obviously want something more, which is why you're here.
As such, while I wouldn't now explicitly ask what you are, I absolutely would ask what he's looking for. If it doesn't align with what you want, then stop wasting your time. Good luck.
Some weirdo made a move on your drunk girlfriend and she was not interested and told you about it. I’ve had guys try and kiss me before because apparently not being rude is enough of a sign that “I like them”.
Stop making a mountain out of a molehill. Of course you’d see him around, they both online on campus. If it’s that big of a deal to you, it’s better to just break up than guilt trip her a year later
I do have empathy for myself but hurting someone makes me feel very horrible about myself. I don't know why or how to explain it.
Also yeah we online together. There is other issues like extreme jealousy and he makes accusations….for example : if I was with a group of friends he would be upset there is a male there and accuse me of cheating.
He could try taking out a loan and pay her back.
But I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect her to just waive the responsibility if she ponied up a quarter of a million.
Kind of seems to me that at the root of this, you thought you were going to marry a rich doctor and have now realized that it costs money to go to med school and have to repay loans and pay for malpractice insurance, etc. he’s a good decade out from being super financially secure if he’s living beyond his means and yours.
Maybe you two need to downsize and online within your means?
You are the highest degree jerk. She should be thanking her lucky stars that you freed her from the relationship.
It's not emotional cheating because as far as we know, she's done nothing. But that doesn't matter. She's been with you for two years and a crush is making her consider ending your relationship. What that means is there's something wrong in the relationship that one or both of you aren't acknowledging.
Either way, the fact that your partner is considering this should be making you run as fast as you can out of this. You're overthinking the situation. It's very surface level unfortunately. Good luck.
Your wife sounds more like a parasite than a wife or partner.
Take her up on the “then leave” offer. See how quickly she sorts her shit out.
If you can't control yourself when you're drunk, you shouldn't drink
I would tell him and explain everything you've just told us. A person as manipulative and scummy as your mom probably hasn't stopped but just gotten better at hiding it. But whatever the case, your dad deserves to know. I would also tell him directly rather then pushing your mom to do it. You have no idea what she'll tell your dad. And based off of what you know about her already she'll probably just lie again and try to turn him against you. Maybe set up a family meeting and break the news to both of them so she's on the spot.
And I don't think your dad will hate you either. I think he'll understand that you were a child and you were scared into silence by your mother. He'll be upset no doubt but not with you, he can't blame you. You were a kid and are still young now and pressured by someone you love and trust.
are we talking.. like 2 guys out of like 7-8? or did she get ran through by the whole crew? I am not trying to sound like a dick but thats a big red flag, especially the lying by omission.. no way I could continue a relationship knowing multiple of my friends had claped my shawtys cheeks
If the pic is of you and this girl kissing, her on your shoulders, holding hands, etc. I understand you girlfriend’s perspective. Because that is kind of shitty for her if you have a picture posted, with a girl whose clearly a fling, on a date so close to the date you became official with your girlfriend. If the picture of you and this girl is 100% platonic looking, than I think it’s bizarre and controlling that she demands you to delete it.
No my grandmother would kill me if she saw me with another girl, they don't even like that she's a “foreigner”
Gosh I couldn’t agree with this more! Even when babies are planned and enthusiastically wanted by both parents it is so hot. Absolutely the hardest years of our overall very happy marriage were the first year after each kid. It gets easier, I promise! Married almost 19 years and living in the “parenting teens” stage.
Therapist thinks she may be on the verge of self-destruction because otherwise he/she wouldn’t tell you take another leap of faith. But clearly your wife has and is cheating you so just play it safe, aka don’t let your wife lie to your friends and family, and get away from the cheater.
Tbh I wouldn’t be worried at all. I do the occasional coke (once every couple months) and the fentanyl being cut with it is scary but that’s what friends are for! (I only buy out of their personal stash that they are actively using). I don’t do it more often because I’ve seen people go down the road of addiction, so I also have a rule about it not keeping it in my house. I’ve been doing it a little bit more often than her for several years now and have never had an issue.
I wouldn't be too worried. Have her buy kits to test for fentanyl and have narcan on her.
If it's really two times a year, it's not the worst threat on her health or her life. If she's smart and all. A lot of people stay casual with coke. It's not heroin.
What have me worried is the madly in love-spending our lives together after 4 months. Like, take a breath. I'm sure time will tell. You're not having a baby right now so there's no harm in waiting and seeing.
I hate to break it to you but addiction can hit anyone at any stage of life. You can get with someone straight edge, only for her to get a back injury and then get addicted to painkillers and so on. You can get with someone who “only drinks a glass of wine to unwind after work” and ten years later she's on her second bottle at 11 a.m. because of post-partum.
There is no way to know who might end up addicted to what, and that is a gamble in every relationship and every life. It's not all that black and white.
Are you his partner or his dependent? He’s working a hybrid job and you gave no indication of him needing to travel overnight.
i didnt mean for it to sound like i was his dependent. there are just some times where im doing bad emotionally. i figured as partners of course we'd want to be there for each other. as for the overnights his job doesnt require overnight travel. the locations he works in person are actually just in a different part of the city we online in. it just feels like sometimes hes absent on the more emotional side of things because hes physically or mentally at work
It very much sounds like he’s carrying a ton more weight in the relationship, and you not being able to handle yourself while he needs to work to support you both financially is unsustainable.
i'll admit yes, at the moment i cant do much of substance in the relationship (since i cant pull an income i instead stay on top of housework so that when he comes home he has clean clothes, very hot meal, clean living area etc.) but by no means am i “unable to handle myself” im seeing a therapist im taking medicine i have friends i can rely on outside of him, i have coping skills i do my best to learn and keep in my mental inventory so its not like im expecting him to fix me or be my 24/7 emotional servant. but as the person who comes into contact with me the most it cant be helped that when all my resources either fail or arent there that i turn to him for support. its not a frequent thing but the moments where all else has failed i need to know that he'll be there for me. i dont think thats unsustainable at all, i feel thats a reasonable expectation
I would do whatever I could to be there, both for my dad’s final days and so my mom could get some sleep.
This wasn't even a real relationship. It was 2 months of texting some random guy. You barely know him, if you have even met him in person. You are just young and naive thinking this is meaningful.
Let it go and treat yourself with more respect.
He says that people like me are the reason our political issues won't ever change because no one wants to hear about them and how it's better (sarcasm) to be surprised by what's going on in the world than follow the news
It's pretentious for him to assume it's his duty to keep you informed, as if you're incapable of finding your own news if you care to know about it.
Just talking to you “about” negative news all the time is not trying to “make a change” — it's straight-up whining.
That is all he's doing when he talks to you about it. He's deluding himself by pretending otherwise. Just trying to make HIMSELF feel better about what HE put in his OWN brain.
Nobody likes being whined to all the time. Too much negative energy, and you can't DO anything ABOUT it.
When he brings something up like this, just shut it down completely. “I told you I don't need to hear about it, thank you”. That's all.
If he's got a problem with that, then maybe he would benefit from a little “news break” too, so he doesn't feel the need to spread it around.
I started doing that a few years ago — once you back off of the constant coffee drip of the media, you start to realize:
A) How little it matters in your life that you know ALL that stuff, and
B) How few people care about your opinion on any of it
Sounds like a trip to the rub n’ tug, TBH.
You see no value in what she's asking. She wants something you're unable and unwilling to provide. You two are not compatible and this relationship is not going to work out. Do both of yourselves a favor and break up.