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Date: January 11, 2023

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  1. General life rule: do not ever move in with somebody you are unable to have frank and open conversations with.

    His reaction is more worrisome than the habit itself — which is weird and, yes, unsanitary, but whatever: people are weird.

    I would try to talk to him about why he got so embarrassed. Tell him you’ve never heard of this practice before and it’s reasonable that you’re trying to understand the logic behind it.

    When you eventually get to the point of deciding to move in together, this is going to be something you’ll have to reach an agreement about.

    I would hold off, for the moment, on forcing an agreement about how you’ll hypothetically handle this when you online together, and focus first on having open conversations about it.

    It’s possible he has never realized how unusual this is; perhaps he’s never had roommates or partners who would have confronted him about it. Maybe, if he can get past his embarrassment, he’d come to realize there is a reason we flush and don’t like open containers of human waste in our living spaces.

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