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Becky_Bunz, 99 y.o.
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Date: January 13, 2023
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He was more concerned about awkwardness for his family than you feeling alone and miserable. It is just about his priorities, fellings of his family are simply more important for him than yours, after 4 years together.
You really shouldn't settle down with him in the future. You may think marriage might change things, but it won't. It never does.
There's a difference in being a full time caretaker for a spouse with dementia, and thus being more of a caretaker than a spouse for them and cheating on your girlfriend because she's taking less that affect her libido. I'm not saying the wife in the first situation is entirely in the right but she's definitely entitled to some sympathy, compared to op's shitty boyfriend
They both say “novel experience” lmao what a dweeb
It’s a huge invasion of privacy. Major red flag. No trust, no point. Move on.
This is a good idea, haven’t thought of that before, thanks for the advice.
Thank you! I was about to say. Are we living on different planets? Some strippers are very handsy and DO offer sexual favors. lol
He sounds like he will just find something else to fixate his unhappiness on. He should probably talk to someone.
Maybe so. But we have kids.
My best advice is just that you need to be completely honest with her. If you say nothing, this can seriously impact your relationship even if it’s something minor. It’s okay that she’s wearing things she feels most comfortable in, but at the same time, you don’t want to date someone who dresses or behaves like your children , which I completely understand. After all, there are so many childish behaviors people can present in relationships that would be a turn off for anyone!
Just tell her how it makes you feel. She might feel hurt or upset afterward or even offended, but the important thing is that you put it gently to her in a way that says, “I love and completely accept you for who you are and never want to change that, but I feel that when you wear this hoodie, it’s going to negatively impact me when we are in public together because I don’t want anyone to think I’m dating a minor because this is the way my kids dress.”
Be 100% honest and open with your conversation and your feelings and listen to her side too without judgment. Don’t tell her she’s being childish by wearing the hoodie or that it makes her unattractive. You should let her know truthfully how it’s impacting you, and you can even offer to buy her an alternative jacket if you want to. If you tell her to pick it out and you’ll buy the one she wants, this is something I’m sure she would also appreciate!
The conversation just has to stay respectful and without judgment to get anywhere. Just remember to be understanding and polite. Kindness goes a long way in our relationships, so reminder whatever you tell her to be kind.
What took you so long?
Hes still married. He signed papers and she was supposed to file them in 2017 but she never did and the divorce never went through. So it necer happened. He says its in the works now hes just been waiting for his mom to bring her printer over for a month.It's the follow through on anything for me. He's supposed to be “focusing on his music but still hasn't so much as started a YouTube channel. Or recorded a video or a podcast or anything. I've spent hundreds on equipment. Cameras microphones speakers lights there's always an excuse. I am just fed up.
Maybe he's just not that into you? Maybe you two are just not that sexually compatible? Maybe he is just not very confident in the bedroom? Maybe you need to spice things up? Maybe he is just exhausted and not into sex itself and you two need to make some lifestyle changes.
It sounds like you two don't have a lot of communication regarding sexuality or pleasures. You said, “it feels demoralizing when I ask”; this statement is very telling. You don't sound confident communicating your pleasures. And it certainly doesn't sound like you are doing it in a fun, sexy manner. You should not feel ashamed or sad that you have to ask for stuff; this is entirely normal! You need to tell him. He is not a mind reader and would likely benefit from a ton of sexy feedback. Sometimes you need to physically show a person what you like. And of course reciprocate. Then the confidence and trust builds pleasure for both. Him saying he prefers to be touched is him communicating a lack of confidence and that he likely has anxiety about it. It feels unnatural because he doesn't know what he is doing. He avoids it because it's just easier.
If he is going soft while pleasuring you, it really sounds like you two just don't have a lot of chemistry (I am assuming you aren't just laying here like a starfish). You are right that good sexual partners should want to pleasure each other and genuinely enjoy it. But love does not always equal strong sexual attraction or chemistry.
Thank you for expressing this. I do feel as though this was an act of physical violence against me. It feels like he was purposely acting out something that is my most personal nightmare. And Knowing that he planned this is like him plotting some sadistic torture
Lol
Time it similarly with what?
What advice are you looking for here? You didn't post a question…
What do you expect us to say?
You pulled a frat boy move and got frat boy results. Its not a shock this was the outcome.
You're young. Breakups never get easy but they really suck at your age.
It'll be shitty at first but you'll start feeling better in a few days/weeks. One day you'll look back and chuckle that you were ever hung up on them. Trust me.
I feel sorry for your son.
That's what it seems to boil down to, isn't it?
Yeah you’re right. I was worried it would be awkward and weird if I asked about basic stuff because penises are meant to be easy but maybe he’ll find showing me fun
Yup.
Assuming she didn’t sleep with anyone else; but that’s what DNA tests are for.
We had a ” friend” like this who all if sudden used the trauma of my partner as her personnal life story. It took years for people to recognize that we weren't attacking her but she was manipulating everybody. But it was too late. We cut them all.
We know now that all the work and idea who make her the center of the community has been stolen to people who admired her.
Nowadays she pretend to be asperger because it is in fashion . (She lived three days on our couch. No way she can be asperger). And have fall in the most delirious Qanon complotism, which is not common in Europe .
So, this friend is probably not your friend. You need a professional to address your self esteem and allow you to have activities that in turn will bring friends.
Get the police involved if you have to. That's your house (too?) I think it's probably a good idea to break up, though. Start looking for a way for one of you to move.
I don’t know what you’re worried about you’re totally safe because you know he doesn’t even know where to get roofies. /s
I don’t know what you’re worried about you’re totally safe because you know he doesn’t even know where to get roofies. /s
Thank you
You're doing it again. Your comment was oof sexism. It did take a tangent into several other areas, but they were all generally pointing out how what you said was dismissive and inaccurate.
Right? My husband is hella eager to get down there for me and I love doing the same for him. That is how it should be on both sides. Pleasing your partner should be priority. This guy is basically using her as a sex toy.
Do social events on your own or with specifically your own friends
Do a hobby you want to start but haven’t had a chance to yet.
Spa day