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  1. Since 2016. As for the phone stuff, not at all. She's on tik tok the entire time. 100 percent positive about that. I got cheated on in high school and have kind of learned the signs as a result, unfortunately due to experience.

    I'm really not sure. Its been a gradual change. Not like we woke up one day and everything was different. That's what confuses me more than anything

  2. Ask to go through his phone since he went through yours and watch for his reaction. Sometimes people project. They have the mindset of “if I'm doing this and they have no clue, what are they doing that I don't know about?”

    The way he treated you is abusive and not right. Instead of asking to speak in private, he went looking for a problem, found something that supported the scenario in his head, and then punished you for it without telling you why. Do you want this to keep happening every time he feels insecure?

  3. I do not believe she will set him up with anyone else. She told a mutual friend that she really regretted setting us up as we had a lot of drama, and she doesn’t like mess.

  4. That could be it; feeling validated by an abusive ex finally “realizing his mistake” as an ego boost.

    But my dude, this is a huge red flag. She's not cutting an abuser out of her and YOUR life. She's not blocking him when he sends her flirty things. In any healthy relationship, either situation should get that individual out of her life.

    Do not propose to her until she cuts this off completely.

    And honestly, we are just speculating. You need to ask her straight up what her reasons are, and point out how unacceptable this is. She needs to understand the issue if she doesn't already, and address it

  5. Thanks very much for this. I’ll talk to her and if she thinks a support group would be something she’d like to pursue, I’ll definitely reach out via PM

  6. Yea you can help her support her habit until she actually hits rock bottom and steals all your shit to get more crack.

  7. Man, this is naked for me to read that. But thanks for the answer. I- I know that you think that I try to find reasons, I just teel you what I see and that I feel. You're might be good…thanks for your time

  8. Dude.

    Yes you should put your wife first, but you won't. Every single answer you gave on this thread was either defensive or willfully obtuse.

    Cut contact with F to a minimum. Even if you are not attracted to her, which I don't believe, it looks like you are and it HURTS YOUR WIFE. Think about that for a bit.

    You say she is out of your league. Did you tell your wife that same thing? Because if you did, then she is a SAINT for not divorcing you on the spot. Get a huge bouquet of flowers for her and seriously make her a priority again instead of your little midlife-crisis F.

  9. I should have. I hate my brain and it froze. That's what he is saying too. He was trying to make the best choice for friend and i just added to the problem because i followed his plan.

  10. These aren’t conversations to have via text. Aside from that, he probably didn’t know how to respond. I’m guess the thumbs up was because he thought you were kidding & the gotcha was for understanding you were serious. He didn’t respond at all to what you wrote, I think.

    There are so many variables here & so many possibilities that could explain why he responded the way he did – I can’t begin to say whether or not he’s a bad guy.

    Even “acted” is reasonable if he was initially upset but acted as though her weren’t — so could saying that his actions should have matched his feelings.

    You need to think about what response you wanted from him & why, and you need to think about why that response wasn’t the one he gave.

  11. I don't give a shit about you and two step children. What I want to know is what is your relationship with your wife? Is it good? Then stay. If it's not good, then leave. Divorcing your wife over two people that are close to being adults is fucking stupid. They're gonna move on and do their own thing. I barely even have a relationship with my bio dad and mom. They didn't divorce just because I don't like being around them.

  12. ???? Imma pester you all week about getting a surgery you don't know if you want. But you're not allowed to get frustrated/upset at all.

    Op already stated that he just needed to think, she brought it up again? I'd bring up the opposite-sex equivalent too. actually I'd walk the fuck out because someone isn't respecting my wishes to not be cut open.

  13. You need to run, OP. This is red flags in top of red flags on top of red flags.

    If the girl I was dating asked me to move in under any circumstances at 6 months, I would be concerned about her judgment. Let alone to another country. Let alone to a country where I didn't speak the language. Let alone if she thought she was entitled to a yes! She's showing you how she acts when she doesn't get her way. Not only does she sulk, but she gets mean and says hurtful things in an attempt to manipulate you.

    Don't stay with people who are mean and/or manipulative.

  14. I do feel I’m too old for this childish behavior

    yeah she's 22. What do you even expect.

    Sweet + respectful is a low bar, really not difficult to find buddy.

  15. I would really hate my partner if they lied by omission about an STD (no matter what kind) and I would break up with them.

  16. Yup toxic is the word I thought of too. She doesn’t want OP but but nobody else can have him?? That’s just manipulative. Aim higher pal.

  17. One of my closest friends (I named my son after him) experienced this. He kept believing it would change, and didn't feel like he could talk about it while it was happening because of “man stuff” (this was 15 years ago; we've matured a lot since then and he self-published a memoir about it on Amazon called The Love Bomb). He was just a few years younger than you when he made the choice to leave, but the abuse had progressed much further (it had begun long before the wedding, but he thought that marriage would fix it).

    You've already made a big first step in acknowledging and naming the problem.

    You've told her how you feel and you know that it will not change for the better.

    You need to decide for yourself whether you can handle that response, because it likely will not change.

  18. LDR of a couple of months. It doesn't sound like you're happy or satisfied. Why continue? Send him a break up text and never talk to him again. You're young. There's plenty of other people out there. Don't waste another minute on this child.

  19. Stop acting like you’re the victim in this situation dude. You made a choice and you have guilt but you are not the hurt party here

  20. You're right. I think it's just naked for me because I hate the idea of not continuing with something that could turn out to be a great experience. But the NOW should matter more

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