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hi everyone happy to see u here)lets make fun
Date: January 16, 2023
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omg this post makes me happy lol … u made your bed now lay in it .u can't expect your marriage to be open on your side and when she does it you want to cry lol.
Op, kindly, you don't NEED to be in a relationship.
You clearly aren't reeeeally in your current relationship – your mentaly not there, and emotionally not there, doing ldr your not even physically there.. why are you “officially bf/gf” lable there?
Do you gain a status from not being single? Does it sooth something in you? Why do you need to be in a relationship?
Your current relationship clearly isn't it – the 19bf is convenient (for perhaps an unpacked reason?) placeholder of a partner whilst you find yourself.
Your ex just sounds like toxic bad news.
He doesn't respect you when you dated.
He doesn't respect his current gf he's now dating.
He doesn't respect you as his unofficial sexting sidepeice – who he only wants at his convenience and in the dark.
Wanting attention from people who treat us badly, is a sadly very common human thing.
We can only hope to be lucky enough for life to let us safely evolve and grow out that abusive cycle, of as we reach adulthood and learn (from life or formal therapy or otherwise) that we deserve more than dirt crumbs and others in our lives deserve more too.
My advice is break up with current bf, and delete ex bf from your contacts/social medias etc as you are currently vulnerable to him even though he treats you terribly and hurts you.
Be single a while! Grow! Shine. Learn to love you and you alone! Learn to be alone ina healthy way. After that you would never accept or freak of wanting what your ex offers. And you'd never want to offer the same to someone else too.
In a year or so when you have become adept and loving being just with you, perhaps with the guidance of a therapist if you can afford it, then explore romantic relationships as a stronger, wiser better person.
Current you is only hurting yourself and others. You all deserve better!