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Even just “I don't like how it feels after sex without protection” is a valid reason. I set a boundary that I won't have sex with the pullout method because I can't stand how it feels on my body, it's a pain to clean up, and I know it's not actually effective, so at that point we may as well be doing it with no protection at all. I'm not going to subject my body to sensory hell so that a man doesn't have to wear a piece of latex over his junk while he uses my hole to feel good.
Bad vibes for sure! Time to learn to be assertive. This would be a dumpable offense for me. Tell him clearly that he's coming on too strong and he's bordering on stalking and intimidating. Then tell him not to contact you anymore.
If he thinks your affair partner “took advantage of that” you did not tell him the full story.