100 thoughts on “Laura Cristina live webcams for YOU!”
Op what he went through is not a reason to except his abuse There is nothing he went through to make him beat you other then him.. He does not love you.
There is no justification to what he is doing to you.
He is mentally wearing you down to the point it is your fault. Physical beating you and Will kill you
he will kill you..
You will be just another police report woman beaten by husband . He does not love you.
He is wearing you doen to nothing non worthless..
Run get out. Go talk to the police get a restraining order and file for devorce.
Many here have been through abuse and we are telling you from experience.
Get out if you can not take anything. Then leave it all .it is replaceable. .But your not.
Do not go back or talk to him they promise they will change but they do not..
Mine found me sux times.. I had the DA trying to help..we had the good old boys police took the mans side..
Even with all the bruises..
Please get out there are women's shelters..
Friends family. Get therapy…. group therapy ..what ever it takes to keep you from going back. Please leave now do not wait.
They changed who they are. That can be nude or impossible to work through. Especially if you are losing attraction since you are straight. I worry you'll grow to resentful of them.
Split time with a kid is better than being in an unhappy relationship for the kid. Just saying. Speaking first hand experience here.
Why would it be a messy divorce? Because of them? They would get vindictive or? Do they online a high conflict or drama lifestyle? It sounds like you want to walk on egg shells all day long.
You'll never get through it without openly communicating with your partner
I'm a 55yo guy who's totally in agreement with my best new 63yo friend here. The violence, especially violence against children, was way to much for me. It honestly sickens me. So, I left my wife to it.
I'd occasionally wander through the room during the occasional castration, rape, or gory murder or torture session, and I'd just shake my head and try to not say anything. I really don't get it. I'd catch a bit here and there, and what I saw just felt so nihilistic an misanthropic, with few characters to root for, and they'd invariably die some unjust death. But my wife loved it, so I'm missing something she gets.
OP shouldn't feel bad not liking 100% of what her partner does. 🙂
There was nothing accidental about you said and you need to absolutely stop opening your mouth and understand that you have never been seen as the notorious jokester BUT you can be counted on to deliberately make an insensitive or inappropriate comment that is offensive or insulting towards someone or anyone and you insist you were joking around and that nobody has a sense of humour anymore… insert any number of scenarios
You had me in the first half. But damn he doesn’t believe his sister? You gotta have some more info here. If he doesn’t believe just off his own hunch that’s a creepy red flag but if he has actual justification for not believing it that’s different
My previous “gets me banned or suspended” comments pointing out a lack of maturity, compassion, growth, sensibility, adult….ness…..
Why the games? 'the hell is wrong with you? No, really. Don't care what you do or do not have or were diagnosed with… You have something many people want, it is stable, yes? Good? Makes you happy?
And YOU want to cause problems to this?
Now, stop. Step back and review that plan:
1 good and enviable thing. Lets f it up real good for reasons! What? What? Why? Conflict is NOT needed in a relationship unless you want there to be NO relationship. Especially for such a dumbass stupid reason.
Jesus.
Seriously….go read what you typed and pretend its done to you.
No, no no. If you’re paying and this is your girlfriend going with you on a private trip, do not take her best friend. Read a few of these Reddit’s on here and you will see it is not a good idea. I’ll kinds of boundaries can be cross you’re not taking your children out on vacation you’re taking your girlfriend alone time no no no.
T does not get to tell your partner how to be NB. Your partner makes that's choice and if or when they decide they want to be “they them” only that it their decision. Your friend T is trying to force your partner to have a problem because they're are projecting their own insecurities onto your partner. I'd just do as your partner asks when it comes to Pronouns and also be thankful you have an understanding partner. It's not ok to assume that people won't slip up when you first make this big life decision and it's about being understanding but also continuing to expect growth from those around you.
Sounds like you're a rock for your partner and I'm sure they are happy for it.
My abusive family forced me to go to my graduation and threw a huge party. Guess what I got? My tweaker grandmother stealing all my money, my parents abusing me, and forcing myself to be someone I’m not. I can’t wait to earn my bachelors degree and graduate with my chosen family than with my blood family. We put too much stress on blood family. Blood maybe thicker than water, but at least water doesn’t leave a stain.
So if you feel like your needs aren’t being met in this relationship, and a conversation won’t make him change his behavior (for good reason since managing a business can be exhausting), then you need to ask yourself if you can stay in a relationship like this
Supporting someone through work/school can be nude emotionally. You need to ask yourself if you think it’s worth it to continue to support him
Sorry this is happening to you man. Firsts things first take a deep breath. Your penis isn't too small, you have what you have. If she's not satisfied by it, then she doesn't deserve everything that's attached to it. I would recommend directly asking her whether or not she enjoys intercourse with you, and asking her not to lie. And if the answer is anything short of I love the way you feel/make me feel or something to that effect. Then you have to decide if you're willing to carry on with somebody who's desperate enough for your affection to pretend enjoying sex with you.
I want to reiterate to you. There's nothing wrong with your body. Your penis is not too small. If anyone tells you they have a problem, it just means that they can't enjoy your body, also it means they prefer to avoid difficult conversations which does not suit a long-term relationship
I have a friend who told me about one of her lovers who had a literal micro penis and she counts him in her top 5 partners
Some people say penis size matters. Some people say it doesn't. I say it only matters to the people who it matters to.
Sorry this is happening to you man. Firsts things first take a deep breath. Your penis isn't too small, you have what you have. If she's not satisfied by it, then she doesn't deserve everything that's attached to it. I would recommend directly asking her whether or not she enjoys intercourse with you, and asking her not to lie. And if the answer is anything short of I love the way you feel/make me feel or something to that effect. Then you have to decide if you're willing to carry on with somebody who's desperate enough for your affection to pretend enjoying sex with you.
I want to reiterate to you. There's nothing wrong with your body. Your penis is not too small. If anyone tells you they have a problem, it just means that they can't enjoy your body, also it means they prefer to avoid difficult conversations which does not suit a long-term relationship
I have a friend who told me about one of her lovers who had a literal micro penis and she counts him in her top 5 partners
Some people say penis size matters. Some people say it doesn't. I say it only matters to the people who it matters to.
If I were you I will not accept because men like this do that to lure you in and to make you a sugarbaby. sometimes even if you do not do anything, not flirty, there will be men like them that will find you beautiful and intriguing. so they will do ways to catch your heart. they will gauge which type of woman you are because there are women who are easy to get and flirty
When I was a still a Dental student and I went to a club with friends. One man aged around 40s approached me and he kept asking if he could buy me a drink. I declined 3x. at first I was kindly rejecting saying I am looking for a friend that is why I am going upstairs but he kept insisting. lastly i told him I can buy my own drink. he laughed and found it amusing. fast forward to a few days, he saw my fb the club fb page did post a photo of people in the club. he said he is a lawyer which he truly is and tells me he is fascinated with me. he wants to meet me again. he said i could go to his mansion, etc. I never met up with him. he seems like a decent man..successful man with a very successful wife. but i do wonder why he is like that. i never questioned him but i just assumed he wanted a sidechic.
May be she has one of those sti that show up months after the fact and she wants to have it low key treated before resuming activities.
Or she has a very low libido that she forces in the early stages to not make the bf run away and then she gets back to normal.
But in any case that's not normal and you need to go beyond and simply say that you can understand the lack of sex and online with it but only if you know why.
I just wanted him to defend me against another guy (again not physically defend me).
ok..he did in my scenario and it only caused you to be a 'tad' less bothered…come on now, you are still not being honest. If he did exactly what you wanted and came back down then went to sleep, you would still be mostly bothered at him for not doing what exactly? again, just spit it out and be honest with what you wanted…you weren't gonna be satisfied till you big burly man put the other man in his place somehow..and exactly how is that done, cuz generally talking politely with someone like that a doesnt work out so well in getting them to stop(which you found out personally)? just admit you are bothered your guy didnt go beat up the old racist man and that is exactly what you expected by him coming to your defense.
Your wife was in fucken labour. You walked her down the aisle and you took off. If she can’t accept that then that’s her problem. Grow a pair and put her in her place already.
He accommodated your wishes until now. The first time he tries to say no, you end up calling him an asshole. If I was this dude, I would be reconsidering this entire relationship.
This is a long shot, but would her employer be willing to pay for some of the degree? Possibly in return for a work commitment. Has she looked into jobs with a college or university? One of the perks at most institutions is to cover the costs of classes taken.
You’re right. He did say that he sees his future with me etc etc but I don’t believe his words at this point. I’m afraid of asking him anything as there’s a part of me that thinks that I should be just moving on already, that he will just blame me as I “ruin every chance of him doing surprise to me” which is what he said initially when I set the date.
Your mom her your GF’s feelings right after she gave birth. She also said you deserved the rest since you worked so nude. What the hell does she think your GF was doing while growing that baby for nine months?
Your mom is rude. GF has told you several times. Do something about it. I don’t care if GF said she’ll handle it herself. You handle it. Growing a baby and then birthing it or having a c-section to bring it into this world is HAAAAARRRRD on a woman. Your mom is rude and you’re dense.
I'd be more worried about your wallet brah. Most chicks don't give a shit about this. They just want a good dude who treats them well. If you match with them they already think you're attractive.
I'd be more worried about your wallet brah. Most chicks don't give a shit about this. They just want a good dude who treats them well. If you match with them they already think you're attractive.
There was someone a while back who's SO would shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain. Why would anyone put up with this is what I don't understand.
He's just jealous that your job doesn't keep you home and has you meeting other people and oh my god, you will cheat!!!!!
If he's threatening with divorce, and you've spent all this time walking in eggshells around him then free yourself! Call his bluff and let him look after himself while you go and do what you love!
I dont know why you titled the post this way. It sounds like you want to leave her because she has a drinking problem that constantly puts her safety at risk, which is reasonable. In contrast, leaving someone because they were sexually assaulted is a scumbag move.
He’s extremely intelligent and I respect that. This isn’t about fun, spending time together is important in relationships. I have no desire to be single, I love him and I simply want to spend time with him and make memories we can look back on and cherish.
I was thinking that maybe you could plan a trip somewhere for the two of you for romance. I actually like the above commenters idea more though. You’re a lucky guy! Treat her like the gold she is.
Thank you responding! Easier said than done. Truth is i really love who she is as a person, whats missing in this (trying to not be bias due to her past mistakes) is some understanding and compromise.
Thank you responding! Easier said than done. Truth is i really love who she is as a person, whats missing in this (trying to not be bias due to her past mistakes) is some understanding and compromise.
Have you had any meta-conversations about how to most productively raise issues with him? I get where he's coming from in getting to feel things, but I tend to think of it as a death knell for relationships when someone says they avoid trying to raise/solve problems because of their partner's reaction. It's just not sustainable to bottle things up.
I think the suggestion for couples therapy is a good one but I'd add individual therapy, if that's an option.
Some more immediate/cheaper solutions: would he take criticism better or worse if you wrote it down and he could process it solo before talking with you? Would it be valuable to set a 5 min alarm and take a break when he gets upset? Why does he feel angry when you ask him to be accountable? Have you tried the “compliment sandwich” technique? (Normally I wouldn't suggest that you should coddle your partner, but you say that you see the effort he's making so it sounds like some genuine compliments wouldn't be far off.)
This is a “do as I say, not as I do” thing because I'm garbage at journalling, but I've heard really interesting things about gratitude journally. A psychiatrist told me that it can rewire your brain to see the good more. If you did that together it might increase his resiliency as an individual and yours as a couple.
I feel like this is what I need to say, but also, part of me believes what she says to me. It makes it nude to make a definitive decision on what to do. And when we make up after one of these arguments things are really great and I forget all about the problems.
I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm rambling, just trying to parse out my thoughts.
To continue on with that, we’ve been together for the better part of 2 years, coming up on 3. Suppose we were “locked down”, would this be more of a necessity then?
I mean, don't egg people on re: killing themselves, but he was also manipulating you. You need to leave this relationship. The fact that he was abusive in his response also does not mean you were right or justified.
Over a decade ago, I had a “friend” tell me to stop talking about being suicidal if I wasn't going to do it (not threats made in an argument, just expressing it for support at different points). So I looked up the LD50 for one of my meds, calculated it for my weight, and saved up for a couple months until I had more than that amount. No recollection of being taken to the hospital, some flashes from the ER, woke up in the ICU days later. Ended up back in the ER 2 days after being discharged because I began having an acute dystonic reaction. Developed very minor/superficial (and not too noticeable to anyone but me, but boy is it noticeable to me) twitching that lasted months and still happens when I'm stressed. I don't even know if that's “actually” happening, so to speak, or a psychological response from the associations I have with it.
I don't want to downplay what he did. That's scary, having a gun in the home with someone like this is scary, and I wouldn't feel safe. You need to make an exit plan and leave. But other people have covered that more, and better. But if someone is acutely threatening suicide, even if you are 99% sure they're manipulating you, call 911 instead of whatever the hell this was. You don't need to like the person, be emotionally supportive, or even respond to what they're saying. Just don't intentionally escalate once that's brought up. The people who show up when you call 911 will handle this better than you even if the person is engaging in 100% manipulation. If you're not comfortable being there, use this time to pack a very fast overnight bag and jet when they do. Then don't come back alone.
If you are scared for your life or scared for someone else's, act like it. If you don't want someone to shoot themselves, don't say “I bet you won't do it.” Very simple. Let loved ones/friends know what happened and make a plan with a few to send a text with a code word or something if you're afraid in the future, because this will happen again and you are writing like you plan on staying. They should call 911 and then begin heading over themselves (but don't come in and don't park where your bf can see, you can just let the kind first responders know you feel unsafe and have someone waiting to pick you up).
You’ll only be able to heal once he moves out and isn’t in your face all the time. I’d tell him to cut the shit and stop making things more difficult by acting like you’re still together.
I can see where you’re coming from, but I never felt like I was getting ahead of myself during the date. She implied multiple times that she wanted something serious, and I matched her energy.
It’s possible that I read her wrong, but I’m generally good at picking up on theses sorts of things.
Exactly what I said she wants you to be the safety net. If things go the way she wants you to get out of the landscape, if it doesn't come out well, you're there for her. That's not ok at all. What are you going to do next time when maybe she'll be curious to try something else just like that for her curiosity.
He is in alignment with me . They only hang out with family. They have met my family once because my parents are out of state and I tend to fly back home rather then come here. They knew for months they were coming, so just felt odd when the time came they made no effort. Because me making an effort to see them has been such a big issue, just felt kind of hurtful for that not to be reciprocated for one event I asked.
This is so my husband!! He doesn't get visually excited or emotionally impacted (good or bad) by much (maybe even anything?). Yet– I will catch tears falling as hes watching a sad anime.
You forget the usual “GIRL YOU NEED TO RUN” comment whenever a guy raises his voice by 0.5 decibels to a woman as if she's gonna get raped and murdered tomorrow or some shit.
He’s definitely my dad. I have a hereditary illness from my dads mom. (I know this isn’t the best evidence) but I wouldn’t ever think he wasn’t. My mom definitely isn’t making it easy for him but he knows we’re all their for him and my aunt and cousins know that too
uh yeah shes got a major crush on him, friends dont jump on each other and tell each other theyre just pepper potts and tony stark, not knowing your bf, idk if hes the type to resist temptations but at 24, the odds are aganist him, its rare they can resist
It sounds like he’s using the porn as a maladaptive coping strategy to deal with the trauma of the sexual abuse. Unlike many other posts here, it isn’t affecting your sex life and he seems open and communicative with you.
I think he would greatly benefit from a therapist that specializes in sexual abuse trauma. They can help undue the compulsion to seek out this habit. It’s not uncommon for victims of SA to recreate their trauma in ways that puts them in control.
No one is perfect. Almost everyone I know has some kind of struggle or trauma or mental illness they deal with. Encourage him to take the steps towards healing, but also recognize you can’t walk this path for him. Be mindful of your own boundaries and make sure to take care of your own mental health.
I wouldn't date anyone who has exes in their social circles, let alone meet with them alone.some people are cool with it, but that's not me. Also, if you believe they only kissed, I have a small canal in Panama I'll sell you….
Op what he went through is not a reason to except his abuse There is nothing he went through to make him beat you other then him.. He does not love you.
There is no justification to what he is doing to you.
He is mentally wearing you down to the point it is your fault. Physical beating you and Will kill you
he will kill you..
You will be just another police report woman beaten by husband . He does not love you.
He is wearing you doen to nothing non worthless..
Run get out. Go talk to the police get a restraining order and file for devorce.
Many here have been through abuse and we are telling you from experience.
Get out if you can not take anything. Then leave it all .it is replaceable. .But your not.
Do not go back or talk to him they promise they will change but they do not..
Mine found me sux times.. I had the DA trying to help..we had the good old boys police took the mans side..
Even with all the bruises..
Please get out there are women's shelters..
Friends family. Get therapy…. group therapy ..what ever it takes to keep you from going back. Please leave now do not wait.
They changed who they are. That can be nude or impossible to work through. Especially if you are losing attraction since you are straight. I worry you'll grow to resentful of them.
Split time with a kid is better than being in an unhappy relationship for the kid. Just saying. Speaking first hand experience here.
Why would it be a messy divorce? Because of them? They would get vindictive or? Do they online a high conflict or drama lifestyle? It sounds like you want to walk on egg shells all day long.
You'll never get through it without openly communicating with your partner
Yup 🙁
I think you need to read the post again.
The disrespect from her is off the charts.
Totally agree with you! She needs to get out before he kills her.
I'm a 55yo guy who's totally in agreement with my best new 63yo friend here. The violence, especially violence against children, was way to much for me. It honestly sickens me. So, I left my wife to it.
I'd occasionally wander through the room during the occasional castration, rape, or gory murder or torture session, and I'd just shake my head and try to not say anything. I really don't get it. I'd catch a bit here and there, and what I saw just felt so nihilistic an misanthropic, with few characters to root for, and they'd invariably die some unjust death. But my wife loved it, so I'm missing something she gets.
OP shouldn't feel bad not liking 100% of what her partner does. 🙂
It is a stupid rule. Imagine a partner telling you that masturbating is cheating. It’s controlling, and it’s gross.
But he agreed to it, and that’s on him.
It is a stupid rule. Imagine a partner telling you that masturbating is cheating. It’s controlling, and it’s gross.
But he agreed to it, and that’s on him.
Well , if he keeps bringing up the female figure issue then he is not satisfied with you and will probably never be. You don’t want that in a partner.
When i see really old photos i just assume they never get on lol
There was nothing accidental about you said and you need to absolutely stop opening your mouth and understand that you have never been seen as the notorious jokester BUT you can be counted on to deliberately make an insensitive or inappropriate comment that is offensive or insulting towards someone or anyone and you insist you were joking around and that nobody has a sense of humour anymore… insert any number of scenarios
You had me in the first half. But damn he doesn’t believe his sister? You gotta have some more info here. If he doesn’t believe just off his own hunch that’s a creepy red flag but if he has actual justification for not believing it that’s different
How long had you been together?
My previous “gets me banned or suspended” comments pointing out a lack of maturity, compassion, growth, sensibility, adult….ness…..
Why the games? 'the hell is wrong with you? No, really. Don't care what you do or do not have or were diagnosed with… You have something many people want, it is stable, yes? Good? Makes you happy?
And YOU want to cause problems to this?
Now, stop. Step back and review that plan:
1 good and enviable thing. Lets f it up real good for reasons! What? What? Why? Conflict is NOT needed in a relationship unless you want there to be NO relationship. Especially for such a dumbass stupid reason.
Jesus.
Seriously….go read what you typed and pretend its done to you.
Whatever you do do NOT have kids with her until your mid 20s at least, please for your own sake
Would she get an abortion if she got pregnant? If yes, then you probably don't need condoms. If she would deliver the baby, keep wearing condoms.
I would just try to get to know the person more so you feel comfortable with them going out.
Totally fair. Pot addicts have a kind of wall around them emotionally, you can't really connect when one of you is stoned and the other isn't.
He was so stupid to quit that cold turkey. Send him to his doctor or it's over.
Nah. Leave her alone.
3+ years and you didn’t tell her you loved her? That’s some new kind of BS.
Bro what’s up with these people in their mid to late 30s acting like kids
He is not a great man. Leave.
It doesn't matter that you love him dearly. Leave.
You owe yourself and your children a better life than this. Leave.
No, no no. If you’re paying and this is your girlfriend going with you on a private trip, do not take her best friend. Read a few of these Reddit’s on here and you will see it is not a good idea. I’ll kinds of boundaries can be cross you’re not taking your children out on vacation you’re taking your girlfriend alone time no no no.
He says he has already checked out, then there is little to save.
It's time for him to pack his things and leave. He seems to be waiting for you to leave or he's comfortable that way.
I would pack up his stuff and put it by the door. When he comes back from partying and flirting, he can take his stuff and go online with his friends.
T does not get to tell your partner how to be NB. Your partner makes that's choice and if or when they decide they want to be “they them” only that it their decision. Your friend T is trying to force your partner to have a problem because they're are projecting their own insecurities onto your partner. I'd just do as your partner asks when it comes to Pronouns and also be thankful you have an understanding partner. It's not ok to assume that people won't slip up when you first make this big life decision and it's about being understanding but also continuing to expect growth from those around you.
Sounds like you're a rock for your partner and I'm sure they are happy for it.
this aha
Call a domestic violence hotline, or the police if you have his threat recorded in a text or writing.
Yeah family don't want OP at graduation but by god when they need some money or medical help they gonna come knocking.
Forget the wedding there is always the reception
My abusive family forced me to go to my graduation and threw a huge party. Guess what I got? My tweaker grandmother stealing all my money, my parents abusing me, and forcing myself to be someone I’m not. I can’t wait to earn my bachelors degree and graduate with my chosen family than with my blood family. We put too much stress on blood family. Blood maybe thicker than water, but at least water doesn’t leave a stain.
she is being irrational, maybe 1% of people could honestly be described as a 10/10, 8/10 is pretty damn good
she is being irrational, maybe 1% of people could honestly be described as a 10/10, 8/10 is pretty damn good
Stand your ground. He's in the wrong. It's okay to say he'd like you to engage in it more, it's not okay to tey to manipulate you to do it.
Op, your needs matter in a relationship
So if you feel like your needs aren’t being met in this relationship, and a conversation won’t make him change his behavior (for good reason since managing a business can be exhausting), then you need to ask yourself if you can stay in a relationship like this
Supporting someone through work/school can be nude emotionally. You need to ask yourself if you think it’s worth it to continue to support him
He wants attention. Alot of gym dudes, thats y they do that.
Thats just more signs youre wasting your time and his.
Sorry this is happening to you man. Firsts things first take a deep breath. Your penis isn't too small, you have what you have. If she's not satisfied by it, then she doesn't deserve everything that's attached to it. I would recommend directly asking her whether or not she enjoys intercourse with you, and asking her not to lie. And if the answer is anything short of I love the way you feel/make me feel or something to that effect. Then you have to decide if you're willing to carry on with somebody who's desperate enough for your affection to pretend enjoying sex with you.
I want to reiterate to you. There's nothing wrong with your body. Your penis is not too small. If anyone tells you they have a problem, it just means that they can't enjoy your body, also it means they prefer to avoid difficult conversations which does not suit a long-term relationship
I have a friend who told me about one of her lovers who had a literal micro penis and she counts him in her top 5 partners
Some people say penis size matters. Some people say it doesn't. I say it only matters to the people who it matters to.
Sorry this is happening to you man. Firsts things first take a deep breath. Your penis isn't too small, you have what you have. If she's not satisfied by it, then she doesn't deserve everything that's attached to it. I would recommend directly asking her whether or not she enjoys intercourse with you, and asking her not to lie. And if the answer is anything short of I love the way you feel/make me feel or something to that effect. Then you have to decide if you're willing to carry on with somebody who's desperate enough for your affection to pretend enjoying sex with you.
I want to reiterate to you. There's nothing wrong with your body. Your penis is not too small. If anyone tells you they have a problem, it just means that they can't enjoy your body, also it means they prefer to avoid difficult conversations which does not suit a long-term relationship
I have a friend who told me about one of her lovers who had a literal micro penis and she counts him in her top 5 partners
Some people say penis size matters. Some people say it doesn't. I say it only matters to the people who it matters to.
That's a European version of socializing.. they all do the drop by unannounced thing.. it's their norm
And what visa shall he get to come here?
If I were you I will not accept because men like this do that to lure you in and to make you a sugarbaby. sometimes even if you do not do anything, not flirty, there will be men like them that will find you beautiful and intriguing. so they will do ways to catch your heart. they will gauge which type of woman you are because there are women who are easy to get and flirty
When I was a still a Dental student and I went to a club with friends. One man aged around 40s approached me and he kept asking if he could buy me a drink. I declined 3x. at first I was kindly rejecting saying I am looking for a friend that is why I am going upstairs but he kept insisting. lastly i told him I can buy my own drink. he laughed and found it amusing. fast forward to a few days, he saw my fb the club fb page did post a photo of people in the club. he said he is a lawyer which he truly is and tells me he is fascinated with me. he wants to meet me again. he said i could go to his mansion, etc. I never met up with him. he seems like a decent man..successful man with a very successful wife. but i do wonder why he is like that. i never questioned him but i just assumed he wanted a sidechic.
If your guys mental health is this debilitating, you shouldn’t be codepending like this. Recipe for disaster.
Prenup over taking the name off the account for sure!
May be she has one of those sti that show up months after the fact and she wants to have it low key treated before resuming activities.
Or she has a very low libido that she forces in the early stages to not make the bf run away and then she gets back to normal.
But in any case that's not normal and you need to go beyond and simply say that you can understand the lack of sex and online with it but only if you know why.
I just wanted him to defend me against another guy (again not physically defend me).
ok..he did in my scenario and it only caused you to be a 'tad' less bothered…come on now, you are still not being honest. If he did exactly what you wanted and came back down then went to sleep, you would still be mostly bothered at him for not doing what exactly? again, just spit it out and be honest with what you wanted…you weren't gonna be satisfied till you big burly man put the other man in his place somehow..and exactly how is that done, cuz generally talking politely with someone like that a doesnt work out so well in getting them to stop(which you found out personally)? just admit you are bothered your guy didnt go beat up the old racist man and that is exactly what you expected by him coming to your defense.
Is he a better cook than you? Did you trying cutting the onions how he does?
Very true thanks!
Long term, 2+ years
Lol, oh girl
Because she told you to.
Yeah that is were we disagree and I think it's because of the difference between Americans and Europeans.
Your wife was in fucken labour. You walked her down the aisle and you took off. If she can’t accept that then that’s her problem. Grow a pair and put her in her place already.
Read this back to yourself.
He accommodated your wishes until now. The first time he tries to say no, you end up calling him an asshole. If I was this dude, I would be reconsidering this entire relationship.
“Hey baby you want to come on a hike with me this weekend?”
Or
“Hey there's a gym near us that does fun classes, I thought we could sign up and work out together”
This is a long shot, but would her employer be willing to pay for some of the degree? Possibly in return for a work commitment. Has she looked into jobs with a college or university? One of the perks at most institutions is to cover the costs of classes taken.
You’re right. He did say that he sees his future with me etc etc but I don’t believe his words at this point. I’m afraid of asking him anything as there’s a part of me that thinks that I should be just moving on already, that he will just blame me as I “ruin every chance of him doing surprise to me” which is what he said initially when I set the date.
Middle aged? Dude is 29, he’s in his prime. Most guys that age use sex to release stress.
Your mom her your GF’s feelings right after she gave birth. She also said you deserved the rest since you worked so nude. What the hell does she think your GF was doing while growing that baby for nine months?
Your mom is rude. GF has told you several times. Do something about it. I don’t care if GF said she’ll handle it herself. You handle it. Growing a baby and then birthing it or having a c-section to bring it into this world is HAAAAARRRRD on a woman. Your mom is rude and you’re dense.
Protect your woman and your baby.
Stop playing games like hiding your parents' illness, avoiding her at work, and drunk texting. Go back to that therapist and learn how to communicate.
You're fucked in the head if you think kids should be taught to do something with shock and pain.
If you think you turned out all right after you were beaten you're wrong, because you are trying to justify this.
This is why children shouldn't have children.
You earn respect which gentle authority, you don't instill it with force. Are you a cop?
I'd be more worried about your wallet brah. Most chicks don't give a shit about this. They just want a good dude who treats them well. If you match with them they already think you're attractive.
I'd be more worried about your wallet brah. Most chicks don't give a shit about this. They just want a good dude who treats them well. If you match with them they already think you're attractive.
There was someone a while back who's SO would shit in the shower and stomp it down the drain. Why would anyone put up with this is what I don't understand.
Sorry I was just venting out everything.
How long have you been together? Is there a history of inappropriate behavior?
Take care of him?!?
He's just jealous that your job doesn't keep you home and has you meeting other people and oh my god, you will cheat!!!!!
If he's threatening with divorce, and you've spent all this time walking in eggshells around him then free yourself! Call his bluff and let him look after himself while you go and do what you love!
I dont know why you titled the post this way. It sounds like you want to leave her because she has a drinking problem that constantly puts her safety at risk, which is reasonable. In contrast, leaving someone because they were sexually assaulted is a scumbag move.
Best comment
He’s extremely intelligent and I respect that. This isn’t about fun, spending time together is important in relationships. I have no desire to be single, I love him and I simply want to spend time with him and make memories we can look back on and cherish.
I was thinking the same thing. This is way too ridiculous to be real.
I was thinking that maybe you could plan a trip somewhere for the two of you for romance. I actually like the above commenters idea more though. You’re a lucky guy! Treat her like the gold she is.
Thank you responding! Easier said than done. Truth is i really love who she is as a person, whats missing in this (trying to not be bias due to her past mistakes) is some understanding and compromise.
Thank you responding! Easier said than done. Truth is i really love who she is as a person, whats missing in this (trying to not be bias due to her past mistakes) is some understanding and compromise.
You do not need him to really admit it. You know cause tou have proof. Leave if you can.
Have you had any meta-conversations about how to most productively raise issues with him? I get where he's coming from in getting to feel things, but I tend to think of it as a death knell for relationships when someone says they avoid trying to raise/solve problems because of their partner's reaction. It's just not sustainable to bottle things up.
I think the suggestion for couples therapy is a good one but I'd add individual therapy, if that's an option.
Some more immediate/cheaper solutions: would he take criticism better or worse if you wrote it down and he could process it solo before talking with you? Would it be valuable to set a 5 min alarm and take a break when he gets upset? Why does he feel angry when you ask him to be accountable? Have you tried the “compliment sandwich” technique? (Normally I wouldn't suggest that you should coddle your partner, but you say that you see the effort he's making so it sounds like some genuine compliments wouldn't be far off.)
This is a “do as I say, not as I do” thing because I'm garbage at journalling, but I've heard really interesting things about gratitude journally. A psychiatrist told me that it can rewire your brain to see the good more. If you did that together it might increase his resiliency as an individual and yours as a couple.
I feel like this is what I need to say, but also, part of me believes what she says to me. It makes it nude to make a definitive decision on what to do. And when we make up after one of these arguments things are really great and I forget all about the problems.
I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm rambling, just trying to parse out my thoughts.
It doesn't even matter whether he is grooming you (he is). He is married and trying to make you his side piece. You say no to that.
Personally, I wouldn't tell the wife unless you can prove it.
But either way, it's time to cut him off. There are lots ofnpeolle who can teach you piano.
Was it even legal for you to be fucking him when he was a 16/17 year old child and you were 18/19?
Thank you for the response, I updated the post. I took your advice and communicated with her calmly about it.
i’m genuinely just looking for advice
To continue on with that, we’ve been together for the better part of 2 years, coming up on 3. Suppose we were “locked down”, would this be more of a necessity then?
That’s a really awesome best friend you have, negging and mansplaining you right into self doubt.
I mean, don't egg people on re: killing themselves, but he was also manipulating you. You need to leave this relationship. The fact that he was abusive in his response also does not mean you were right or justified.
Over a decade ago, I had a “friend” tell me to stop talking about being suicidal if I wasn't going to do it (not threats made in an argument, just expressing it for support at different points). So I looked up the LD50 for one of my meds, calculated it for my weight, and saved up for a couple months until I had more than that amount. No recollection of being taken to the hospital, some flashes from the ER, woke up in the ICU days later. Ended up back in the ER 2 days after being discharged because I began having an acute dystonic reaction. Developed very minor/superficial (and not too noticeable to anyone but me, but boy is it noticeable to me) twitching that lasted months and still happens when I'm stressed. I don't even know if that's “actually” happening, so to speak, or a psychological response from the associations I have with it.
I don't want to downplay what he did. That's scary, having a gun in the home with someone like this is scary, and I wouldn't feel safe. You need to make an exit plan and leave. But other people have covered that more, and better. But if someone is acutely threatening suicide, even if you are 99% sure they're manipulating you, call 911 instead of whatever the hell this was. You don't need to like the person, be emotionally supportive, or even respond to what they're saying. Just don't intentionally escalate once that's brought up. The people who show up when you call 911 will handle this better than you even if the person is engaging in 100% manipulation. If you're not comfortable being there, use this time to pack a very fast overnight bag and jet when they do. Then don't come back alone.
If you are scared for your life or scared for someone else's, act like it. If you don't want someone to shoot themselves, don't say “I bet you won't do it.” Very simple. Let loved ones/friends know what happened and make a plan with a few to send a text with a code word or something if you're afraid in the future, because this will happen again and you are writing like you plan on staying. They should call 911 and then begin heading over themselves (but don't come in and don't park where your bf can see, you can just let the kind first responders know you feel unsafe and have someone waiting to pick you up).
You’ll only be able to heal once he moves out and isn’t in your face all the time. I’d tell him to cut the shit and stop making things more difficult by acting like you’re still together.
Just because you want a relationship doesn't make it so.
Accept reality. She is not your “girlfriend” and is avoiding making a commitment. How clear does she have to be?
Stop waiting. Either accept the level of relationship you have with her now and enjoy it, or move on and find someone who wants commitment.
I can see where you’re coming from, but I never felt like I was getting ahead of myself during the date. She implied multiple times that she wanted something serious, and I matched her energy.
It’s possible that I read her wrong, but I’m generally good at picking up on theses sorts of things.
Exactly what I said she wants you to be the safety net. If things go the way she wants you to get out of the landscape, if it doesn't come out well, you're there for her. That's not ok at all. What are you going to do next time when maybe she'll be curious to try something else just like that for her curiosity.
He is in alignment with me . They only hang out with family. They have met my family once because my parents are out of state and I tend to fly back home rather then come here. They knew for months they were coming, so just felt odd when the time came they made no effort. Because me making an effort to see them has been such a big issue, just felt kind of hurtful for that not to be reciprocated for one event I asked.
It sounds like you don’t trust her already and you two aren’t very good at communicating.
This is so my husband!! He doesn't get visually excited or emotionally impacted (good or bad) by much (maybe even anything?). Yet– I will catch tears falling as hes watching a sad anime.
We gotta start segregating the office space by gender to avoid all these awful young women tryna steal out husbands /s
You forget the usual “GIRL YOU NEED TO RUN” comment whenever a guy raises his voice by 0.5 decibels to a woman as if she's gonna get raped and murdered tomorrow or some shit.
He’s definitely my dad. I have a hereditary illness from my dads mom. (I know this isn’t the best evidence) but I wouldn’t ever think he wasn’t. My mom definitely isn’t making it easy for him but he knows we’re all their for him and my aunt and cousins know that too
Could be carbone monoxide poisoning possibly
Sounds like she tricked you to marrying her which was made easier by the age gap.
uh yeah shes got a major crush on him, friends dont jump on each other and tell each other theyre just pepper potts and tony stark, not knowing your bf, idk if hes the type to resist temptations but at 24, the odds are aganist him, its rare they can resist
It sounds like he’s using the porn as a maladaptive coping strategy to deal with the trauma of the sexual abuse. Unlike many other posts here, it isn’t affecting your sex life and he seems open and communicative with you.
I think he would greatly benefit from a therapist that specializes in sexual abuse trauma. They can help undue the compulsion to seek out this habit. It’s not uncommon for victims of SA to recreate their trauma in ways that puts them in control.
No one is perfect. Almost everyone I know has some kind of struggle or trauma or mental illness they deal with. Encourage him to take the steps towards healing, but also recognize you can’t walk this path for him. Be mindful of your own boundaries and make sure to take care of your own mental health.
Depends on your relationship and if she is into you. If you think she might be then sure thing, go for it!
Also, would definitely give them to her at a time it wouldn't ruin family stuff if it made her uncomfortable.
I wouldn't date anyone who has exes in their social circles, let alone meet with them alone.some people are cool with it, but that's not me. Also, if you believe they only kissed, I have a small canal in Panama I'll sell you….
Please just break up with her. You’d be doing her a huge favor. Run girl, run!
even if you don’t agree with someone’s views doesn’t mean you can be a fucking asshole