You have to understand that you and your partner are 100% incompatible. This isn’t a fixable issue. Her vision of her family life includes this man as part of her nuclear family. You’re b doesn’t. Your wife also seems to not understand that putting another person, even a platonic relationship, ahead of your marriage isn’t going to work. Relationships are very hot enough without being the third wheel. Get divorced and find someone your actually compatible with. These issues should have been discussed in the dating stage, you shouldn’t have even made it to the living in stage with this woman. Get out. You’re living in the sink cost fallacy, and us only going to lead to pain, regret and many lost years of your life.
What a weirdo. You “swore to the grave”? What an immature and teenager like thing to do. She got scared, probably panic promised, then realized she needed to talk to someone about her fears. If you really feel uncomfortable about her talking about something deeply personal that involves BOTH of you, communicate like an adult, don’t make weird arbitrary “pinky swears”. Even if you DO communicate that, understand she has EVERY right to talk about her personal fears with her family. There’s no wound that needs to be mended, there’s no betrayal, you need to get over yourself and mature. You’re too old to be acting like this.
Ya. He’s rude. Why are you even asking this
You have to understand that you and your partner are 100% incompatible. This isn’t a fixable issue. Her vision of her family life includes this man as part of her nuclear family. You’re b doesn’t. Your wife also seems to not understand that putting another person, even a platonic relationship, ahead of your marriage isn’t going to work. Relationships are very hot enough without being the third wheel. Get divorced and find someone your actually compatible with. These issues should have been discussed in the dating stage, you shouldn’t have even made it to the living in stage with this woman. Get out. You’re living in the sink cost fallacy, and us only going to lead to pain, regret and many lost years of your life.
Block her and get help for yourself. She’s made it clear what she thinks of you so leave her alone and get therapy.
What a weirdo. You “swore to the grave”? What an immature and teenager like thing to do. She got scared, probably panic promised, then realized she needed to talk to someone about her fears. If you really feel uncomfortable about her talking about something deeply personal that involves BOTH of you, communicate like an adult, don’t make weird arbitrary “pinky swears”. Even if you DO communicate that, understand she has EVERY right to talk about her personal fears with her family. There’s no wound that needs to be mended, there’s no betrayal, you need to get over yourself and mature. You’re too old to be acting like this.
Dodged a bullet there
This comment is spot on. The relevant part in particular is so true and perfectly articulated.
Now imagine the genders reversed
I never said they needed consent to have children. Consent is required if you want the other person in the child's life and/or support
“Hey, when we opened this joint account, the agreement was ______, but I was going over our finances and seems like you're not doing that.”
If you think a talk like this is even bordering on “rude”, you got married far too early in your relationship and/or your life.
Not caring about sex doesn't make her a nutjob
You can't have it both ways. Mom and Dad are not likely to change their attitude or behavior. If you want more freedom, get a roommate and a rental.