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my ass with oil and an erotic dance / pvt is on [Multi Goal]
Date: February 9, 2023
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he said that he indeed did do it but forgot he did and didn’t think my best friend would tell me.
Forgot? He forgot that he tried to drug someone?
Right now. Give him a weekend.
What’s the difference otherwise.
This is maybe 5% on you for not telling him about this before you got married. He expects his wife to be okay with this and you should have told him before you said “I do.”
It's 95% on him for being such a dick.
You're allowed to have boundaries. You should have laid them out before the wedding but regardless of that, you're still allowed to have them. If you don't want to be touched a certain way you have a right not to be touched that way. This is not a you problem any more than him complaining when you hit him in the head with a brick is a him problem. Tell him that.
And remember that saying “I don't like that” isn't setting a boundary. If you want to set a boundary say something “I don't like that. I won't tolerate it. If you do it again, I will do x, y, and z as consequences. If it continues after x, y, and z I will file for divorce and call the police on you for sexual assault and apply for a restraining order against you. Yes, I'm serious. I will fuck up your life if that's what I have to do to feel safe, although I hope you respect me enough that it won't come to that. Have I made myself clear?”
Good luck, and please post an update.
No she was afraid you’d judge her for her body count. People say they don’t care and body count means nothing, but always do their utmost to hide it
What you described sounded like a date from a rom-com, it is a good thing that you are working on moving on, and you are not wrong for wondering what happened, maybe something bad happened in her life, maybe she freaked out by how well the date went and didn't want to be in a relationship, maybe she thought I am still young and I want to explore further, many scenarios, but the truth remains that she ghosted you after giving you a false hope it was going somewhere, which shows a great deal of emotional immaturity.
That’s clearly horrible self esteem and toxic controlling behavior on her part. You’re just living your life, doing nothing wrong. Basically what she’s saying/doing is trying to take the attention off herself and putting it on you. I’ve seen this with addicts. 2 people will both be addicts, but one is worse off. The less fucked up person will put all of the attention on the worse off addict because it takes the attention of them. In your partners mind she probably feels all the attention is constantly on her, so she talks shit to try and divert attention. She’s also trying to validate her appearance/health and point out how wrong others are, while not worrying about herself.
I commented on an earlier post about a toxic controlling ex I dated. She hated the fact I worked out. I thought it was weird as fuck, even commented saying, “wouldn’t you rather have a healthy, fit partner?”. It’s a control thing, your partner is trying to break you down. If she doesn’t deal with her self esteem and actually make changes to change things for herself then this’ll keep happening. Were this me I’d have a very serious talk and if she doesn’t stop doing this or it gets worse then roll out dude. You’re both still young, so she can make things better for herself if she wants. If she doesn’t, doesn’t change her behavior and continue her habits she hates, then she’ll progressively get worse on both fronts. She’s clearly not happy now. What happens when she’s 45 and even bigger/unhealthier? Shit gets harder to change the more time that passes.
Keep in mind these actions are coming from her and not you. If she doesn’t want to get better or find help for her issues then that’s on her. We can’t fix the people we love, they have to do that themselves. Honestly if you tried to help, got her to workout and eat better, she’d probably start resenting you and pushing back. Look out for your own happiness man. If a person is breaking you down, there’s no rule that says you have to stay. You can still love a person, but also leave. Toxic behavior from a partner is not something people should have to deal with.