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gabriela-gh1 chat
Date: February 10, 2023
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gabriela-gh1 chat
This is the answer. He was absolutely wrong to ask that. You can hold on to what happened or you can seek understanding of why he would say it. It can be extremely difficult to get past a hurtful moment to find a place of greater connection and honesty, but it is extremely valuable.
I realize that I am in the throws of caretaker fatigue myself. I hear my wife complain over and over about the same things then make no changes to try to improve those issues. I suggest taking action and offer to do it with her and then am given excuse after excuse. It is naked not to feel like she is more comfortable with a familiar pain than with the effort and fear of failing to improve her situation. On rough days I try to send her to bed early and get our kids ready for bed myself, just to see that she's watching TV ior scrolling on her phone nstead of actually trying to sleep. At times, I have kept my burdens boxed up and away from her because I don't trust her to be there for me when she is struggling so naked to handle herself. It is taxing, and lonely, and partially my fault for not demanding more. That being said, I love her with every ounce of my being, there are always good moments and better days, its just very hot when the bad ones stack up next to each other.
I don't know if there is any overlap in our situations, but I offered my story just to give insight into the mind of a spouse whose spouse is going through anxiety and depression. I'm not saying to forgive him, but I think you need to have a real conversation about your respective situations. I think you should also let him know that he is not trapped in the relationship, that you want him to be with you but he is not your sole reason for living, and if he doesn't want to stay with you he can go and you'll survive; but if he wants to stay then you two need to make changes because that can not happen again.
I'm sorry you're going through this. You're not alone, and you deserve better. He knows this too, he's just not brave enough to admit it and make a proper apology. He's afraid what will happen if he said what he really meant. But he needs to sort out what he actually meant and not lash out in such a hurtful way. Even if things have gotten better, that doesn't meant that he has healed from the emotional damage that comes from feeling like you aren't enough to make your spouse neutral, let alone happy. He may need to explore these feelings in therapy, or you two could explore it together in group therapy.
I could be way off, but that's my take and I hope it helps. I just want to finish this by telling that you deserve happiness, you are strong enough to attain it, but happiness doesn't come from seeking it. It is the unintended side-effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself. Don't aim to be happy, just aim to online your life, the happiness will find you. Good luck
I’ve been trying to save but it’s been raining a lot here and I work in construction. When it rains we don’t work. I’ve been relying on my side hustles just to make my monthly payments. It’s just all around a shit show rn.
Why don’t you google the dangers of the escort industry and how many women are “escorts” against their will and maybe then you’ll realize the difference. Dating is not the same as engaging in potential human trafficking.
Also, if this man is in America, there are no “brick and mortar shops” for escorts there, that would be an illegal brothel. Women in brothels are owned/managed by pimps/madams, so he fully engaged in human trafficking.
Ex girlfriend
The age gap can be an issue but doesn't have to be. If you're okay with it and he's okay and it's not something like teacher/student or worker/manager or something? Then just knowing it means it's just something to watch for. it's only a “red flag” if it's being abused.
For me the question is… why is he dancing with other women and why is he half naked while doing it?
Is it because you're not dancing? Is it because he's a male stripper? is it just randomly happening?
if he salsa dances and you don't? how else is he going to dance? unless you're going to learn and put up a boundary of “no one else gets your salsa but me”?