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hi i am your goddess [33 tokens remaining]
Date: February 11, 2023
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First off, you need to stop playing the role of jealous boyfriend. It’s what started this ball rolling. It’s also so old and overdone- Just stop it. You only look insecure when you act like this. She is a grown woman who is allowed to talk to whoever she wants, she is not your property. When she agreed to start a relationship with you, she did not sign a contract stating that from here on out, there will be no conversing with the opposite sex. People talk to each other, get over it.
It was wrong to get physical and shove you but you now saying you feel anxiety around her like you’re a battered boyfriend who was attacked seems a little extreme. She apologized. She feels guilt for that. It was the heat of the moment but you holding onto being the victim for hours or days later in all of this is just you being manipulative by pouring the heat onto her. Your way of being angry and punishing her is by holding this over her head.
Throughout all of this you continually ignore your jealousy towards her talking to a random person and that you deserve all the apologies now. You need to be correcting your behavior too. It’s never okay to regulate who your partner can and can’t talk to. Part of loving someone means trusting them to make good decisions about the company they keep. You can vocalize your concerns in a loving, honest way, but then you must trust your partner’s judgment. If one of you can’t trust the other, it may be time to move on.
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A little backstory. I (30M) caught my wife (28F) of not even 2 months cheating on me with one of her co workers. We’ve been together for 7 years but I’ve known her since I was 13 years old as she was my high school sweetheart. We had time apart after high school and did our own growing up(at least I thought) and found ourselves in each others lives back in 2015 and then married in October of 2022. We have no kids which makes things a little easier. I posted here 3 months ago when I was still putting together the evidence I had gathered on her cheating on me, trying to convince myself that I was the one who was in the wrong and that our communication must have broken down over the last year or so with planning a wedding and other life events. I was chalking it up as some sort of post marital depression( I don’t know if this is a real thing) and that it would pass so we could talk about whatever issues were going on and fix them. Come to find out she had started a “fling” as she put it, with a younger guy she works with immediately after we got married. I caught her in the act in a car in January and during that she told me it started 2 months ago. Putting the time frame of when she started cheating less than a month after being officially married.
Not sure if anyone has experienced anything like this before but it has completely broken me. You go from having one of the happiest times of your life in getting married, thinking about planning a honeymoon and other future plans together to literally feeing worthless. I know the right move is to move on, and the only benefit of staying at this point would be to not lose all the years of growth together. She already gave up on the relationship before ever giving the marriage time to heal and grow. I guess I’m just looking for some advice or thoughts on the situation described.
Yeah. That is annoying.