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I had mentioned and asked for him to plan something a week ago. I’ve also mentioned to him multiple times in the four years we’ve been together that he doesn’t ever plan anything for my birthday, holidays, doesn’t get me gifts, etc. and how that’s something that’s really special and important to me.
Anyway, I got him flowers and treats and snacks and he promised he’d make it up to me so I said alright, let’s see what he does.
Then this morning he texted me while still in bed and I’m taking care of the kids: “can I ask you a hypothetical question? Is there any scenario where you’d consider being in an open relationship?”
He’s asked this before and my answer is always no. And I’ve told him repeatedly that if we are going to have a better sexual relationship (pretty stale at this point), he HAS to put more effort into our relationship. He does the bare minimum on a good day. We constantly fight about chores, the kids, who gets more free time, sex, bad communication, etc. and I’ve asked for more for years.
Basically I’m just in complete and utter shock right now that he thought this was the time to ask me that question. After making me feel unimportant and like he can’t put one second of effort in to making me happy or showing he loves me.
What would you all suggest doing in this scenario?
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That's not the case at all, as you'll see from reading my other comments. I *am* happy for her – and it's entirely possible to be happy for someone, but have no interest in wanting to know her partner.
As I've explained, this has never been an issue before, when she with her last boyfriend. He wasn't too bothered about meeting me, my friend knew I wasn't bothered about meeting him, she accepted and respected that, and that's just how things were.
So, why can't that be the case again?
That's a good, honest answer.
Babe, I am in awe of the life you are building for yourself. You are making worthwhile sacrifices to achieve your goal & your partner should be supportive of that.
If you were in a relationship with me (or anybody with some commonsense & compassion) I would be looking after you, make sure you had a calm & comforting home to come to after your 24 hour (wtf!!) shift. I would listen & commiserate, I would feed you, put on your favourite show & we would chill.
You don’t need this man & all his selfish bullshit.