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Mirana, 19 y.o.
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Date: February 23, 2023
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You went drinking with your dad last weekend, so you either had one week or three days (depending on what “last weekend” meant to you) to reflect upon your dad’s words. OP, your dad is biased. He is telling you how things were from his perspective. That may or may not be your reality. As others have said, you will not be friends or happy co-parents with this woman. She will hate you for wasting 10 years of her life and then dropping her when you are expecting a baby and about to be married. What your dad didn’t tell is what can happen if you do not go through with it. Expect that your fiancée will not want you or your family to see the child ever. Expect to fight that out in court. Expect litigation about child support and custody. Expect the child to be told the story from your fiancée’s perspective; expect the child to possibly harbor resentment or hatred toward you. You will come out of this looking like the biggest asshole to both family and friends, should you o through with ending the relationship; expect and accept that. I think you should have some private sessions with a counselor before you end this relationship. I also suggest that you start seeing your parents (in this case, your dad) for the flawed human beings they are (he is). If you truly cannot go forward, then let your poor fiancée get as far away from you as she possibly can because you are frankly toxic for her.
That’s because they can’t wrap their head around it. Which is a bit of a red flag why they aren’t as alarmed tbh.
Get help. Your thinking is destructive and does not allow responsibility to be carried by the person who was abusive- it keeps reinforcing your unhealthy view that you deserved what you got. This is not accurate and you keep re-spinning the unhealthy narrative such that it becomes a pattern.
You are exhibiting a very common characteristic of an abuse victim which is they blame themselves.
For your sanity, you need to accept that bad things happen. Period. To good and bad people alike.