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❤, SHOW CUM❤ [25 tokens remaining]
Date: February 24, 2023
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You have to leave him my love, he’s a bad man. Leave him and get therapy if you can.
I totally said that. ? I was addressing the comment that he shouldnt get std tested bc something wouldve shown up by now.
Damn – i see the downvotes. The butthurt from others is flowing in this thread. Good on you for saying the right thing.
“I realized at some point that he was never going to be the dad I wanted” and “I felt this deep pit of dread in my stomach” – You've said it perfectly. This realisation and dealing with it it's incredibly painful and difficult to get to, but also so cathartic. It is a grieving process for the people you wish they were, and for the relationship you wish you had with them.
OP, I am glad you are starting to open up and talk about your trauma. It helps with the negativity you've internalised, and will show you there are people out there who have also been through this. We believe you, and we hurt for you, and we root for you.
I've been NC with my parents for over a decade now. It's not easy, but it's freeing, and it's a healing process. You have to learn to love and care for yourself, and allow others to do that as well. It's not going to happen at once, but it will get better slowly. The wound, the hole it left, It'll still be there, it'll still hurt, but after a while you won't feel it so much, and then you'll allow yourself to forget about it for longer and longer.
You can still love them, they are your parents, it's only normal. You can forgive them or not, you can understand they're deeply flawed humans, who have probably gone through their own abuse and traumas in their life. But at the same time you can still hate their behaviour, their actions, their abuse. You can choose to forget or not. You CAN AND SHOULD choose to not subject yourself to that anymore. All of these are not mutually exclusive.
I hope you have the strength and support to choose yourself, your well-being, your sanity and your health.
You found out he's married…yikes, sorry. Do you know a way to get into contact with his wife? It might be an option to let her know, but you should only do so if you feel safe – its not always going to be as simple as “just tell her” if this guy knows where you live and is that aggressive. This is also so that you could, if need be, use that as a sticking point if he keeps coming around. “Leave me alone or I will tell your wife.” You could also say “we will tell your wife” to let him know you have someone out there looking out for you.