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Date: April 4, 2023
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If she read this she would divorce you in an instant. Think about that.
He doesn't act like baby infront if them. He only does it in with OP
“I just want to be in a relationship with a grown human being rather than a child who needs me to do everything.” I think you’ve answered your own question. Cut your losses now.
If you want some other things to think about: I’m assuming he has a job now, but what happens when you move and he still isn’t looking for a job at the new place? Are you going to be doing all the housework, emotional labor of the relationship, and financially supporting him? Seems likely, at least for some time.
And then what happens if you decide to have kids? I highly doubt he’ll be any help with a child. So you’ll be doing all you are now and taking care of a child or children. Is that what you want for your future?
Tell him that marriage is a greater risk to the woman and then block him on everything. We are statistically worse off when we marry men.
The fact that he never brought this up is a dealbreaker and is a huge flaw in your relationship that you’ve never talked about it. He’s hidden it for obvious reason and now you need to leave.
I’m so sorry. Your life will be better after this. It may not feel like this but it’s just the truth.
Didn’t you just say he was fucking an 18 year old at 30?
Just because it is that way in “your world”, doesn't make it the real world. If many other people are telling you the opposite of what you believe, it doesn't mean they are all wrong and you are right. But if it makes you feel better to think so, carry on.
THIS. If my SO was drinking and doing drugs in a way they never had before and they became ill, I would be concerned. I would want to make sure they were okay and check on how they were feeling to make sure they were on the road to recovery.
He is concerned about his image and not you. These are red flags you should not ignore.
What do you want from this relationship and where do you see it going? Is this just a just-for-now relationship? What if you guys got married and you got sick? What if you were pregnant? What if you gained weight? What if you aged? What would that do to his image? Is this the person you want by your side through good and bad times? Because if he’s only there for you in the good times and is going to look at you funny when you’re an actual human, I don’t think this is sustainable
Hanging out a lot doesn't make you clingy. You're fine with it, turns out he'd like to dial it down a bit. Fair enough. It only becomes clingy if you start to cling on. ie: he wants a bit more time to himself/friends etc… and you demand/try to deny that. THEN it'd be clingy.
Also, 4 days a week isn't too OTT or anything, if he wants to dial it back, maybe not a huge deal. Mostly importantly, your parents really need to mind their business.
He said you don't want to break it off with him because of what he does for you, but what does he actually do for you OP? I mean, you said you enjoyed his presence said it was fun, but in the beginning. It definitely doesn't seem fun now. It seems exhausting .
So what exactly are you going to miss out on if you somehow make him upset enough that he leaves?
I had an Ex that INSISTED on sharing everything about her “wild” life before me. I told her it made me uncomfortable but she insisted on doing it until I left her.
I think on some level it was about her wanting to be sure I accepted her totally and knew everything about her. But the truth is that I didn’t want to think about her having sex with other men. I mean, logically I knew that and was fine with it, but I didn’t want to hear about specific instances.
You don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed about your past but you don’t have to share it with people who don’t want to hear it either.
But where do you store the other ones in the meantime? Sounds like a bit of a nightmare.
People can change. People can also easily change back.
I guess I have learned that from other people’s experiences