You don’t need to be blunt, but you do need to be honest.
“When we were in school, I wouldn’t have imagined we’d be friends* now. I still have some uncomfortable feelings about what you said. I knew it was high school and everyone says foolish things, and I know you’ve changed since then, but it’s really gnawing at me.”
*: assuming this is a friendship and not more than that, not a fan of /r/SapphoAndHerFriend moments
Don’t ascribe blame. Just acknowledge your feelings because your feelings are legit. Hopefully she will be just as open.
It’s common enough that a queerphobic person is, themselves, that flavour of queer that it’s all but a trope. I actively keep that in mind when I engage in derad and someone in a homophobic, transphobic alt right space asking for help guiding them out confides that they questioned their sexual or gender identity.
You don’t need to give her forgiveness or absolution if she offers an apology, since a sincere apology does not need to ask for such things. That’s up to you.
But you won’t get anywhere until and unless you speak.
The downvotes are ridiculous. I feel exactly the same about her response.
Be honest with her.
You don’t need to be blunt, but you do need to be honest.
“When we were in school, I wouldn’t have imagined we’d be friends* now. I still have some uncomfortable feelings about what you said. I knew it was high school and everyone says foolish things, and I know you’ve changed since then, but it’s really gnawing at me.”
*: assuming this is a friendship and not more than that, not a fan of /r/SapphoAndHerFriend moments
Don’t ascribe blame. Just acknowledge your feelings because your feelings are legit. Hopefully she will be just as open.
It’s common enough that a queerphobic person is, themselves, that flavour of queer that it’s all but a trope. I actively keep that in mind when I engage in derad and someone in a homophobic, transphobic alt right space asking for help guiding them out confides that they questioned their sexual or gender identity.
You don’t need to give her forgiveness or absolution if she offers an apology, since a sincere apology does not need to ask for such things. That’s up to you.
But you won’t get anywhere until and unless you speak.
I suggest you watch Shera Seven. You are the table and he brings nothing to it.