He sounds very emotionally abusive and manipulative. While you may not realize it now, you just dodged a MASSIVE bullet. Time to start the healing process and move forward! You’re SO YOUNG! I didn’t get engaged until a few weeks before I turned 27.
This kind of happened to me once. Still have no idea. I am very stuck between whether he was a sociopath, or scared himself by suggesting more, whether it was on impulse and he didn’t think it through etc. no way of telling
I would not call her delusional. She is a victim of a master manipulator, however. She does not realize it because he is usually “happy and fun loving” which he probably is. This is why people involved with them often feel very confused and thrown off balance. It is also why a lot of them stay with abusers til more damage is done. They don’t recognize the earlier stages and get caught up in the good times and charming ways. To make ,alters worse, abusers are usually excellent at putting on a very charming mask to friends and family who then tell the victim how great the guy/girl is and how they are lucky to have them, which further causes even more confusion and often, the victim thinking they are the problem.
I genuinely don't think it's as black and white as everyone on reddit suggests. It's just dumb. Op clearly states that it's when they aren't together that they feel no connection, so in the very least stick it out until the trip, have a great time, and then break it off. I think if anything you should communicate more directly how important these problems are to you to have them fixed, as no one can know exactly how you're feeling or to what extent you're feeling them without being told.
I would leave this relationship if I were you. My girlfriend journals religiously and I’ve never even had the urge or thought to read it. I can tell you exactly where her physical and digital journals are located at in our house and still I would never breech her privacy.
The biggest issue I would have is that I wouldn’t feel comfortable or safe leaving my diary anywhere knowing my girlfriend routinely reads, takes pictures of, and throws in my face my entries.
Im a 22m and i can imagine if your partner is a stand up guy then im sure he said something along the lines of “hey, my girl expressed to me that shes uncomfortable that you wanted to pursue me in the past. Im hoping to move past that and just be friends and co workers.”
Majority of the people who get cheated are your kind of people. If I were you, the moment I felt she was getting too close to the roommate, I would have told her that it looks very inappropriate to me. If she had continued to do so, I would have ended the relationship and asked her to move out or I would have moved out.
Now, stop this nonsense of “I don't want to go through her phone”. Just go through it and find out if she is fooling you. If yes, then get them both out of your life. There is no use sitting there and worrying if they are up to something inappropriate. If you confront her with no evidence, she will make you look like a fool. So check her mobile when she is sleeping. You find it or not, talk to her. Tell her that she is being too close to this guy and that you feel disrespected. If she cannot change her behavior, cut her out of your life and move on.
Hmm he definitely won’t be fired, if anything the boss will ask me what I want to do about it
He sounds very emotionally abusive and manipulative. While you may not realize it now, you just dodged a MASSIVE bullet. Time to start the healing process and move forward! You’re SO YOUNG! I didn’t get engaged until a few weeks before I turned 27.
pretty sad when the AP has your back better than your man.
maybe you and AP should date and get rid of the “husband”
This kind of happened to me once. Still have no idea. I am very stuck between whether he was a sociopath, or scared himself by suggesting more, whether it was on impulse and he didn’t think it through etc. no way of telling
I would not call her delusional. She is a victim of a master manipulator, however. She does not realize it because he is usually “happy and fun loving” which he probably is. This is why people involved with them often feel very confused and thrown off balance. It is also why a lot of them stay with abusers til more damage is done. They don’t recognize the earlier stages and get caught up in the good times and charming ways. To make ,alters worse, abusers are usually excellent at putting on a very charming mask to friends and family who then tell the victim how great the guy/girl is and how they are lucky to have them, which further causes even more confusion and often, the victim thinking they are the problem.
Couldn't have said it better myself
You were spot on about OPs bf should run. OPs post history suggest a history of self sabotage.
She compares her ex calling her his wife and conflates that to him having no meaning over the word.
When she was the one who didn't want commitment.
I'm also getting a hint of ungratefulness, and her not recognizing her bfs efforts from when she said ” I never asked for this level if commitment”
Are you okay? Lol
You know, I believe that.
I genuinely don't think it's as black and white as everyone on reddit suggests. It's just dumb. Op clearly states that it's when they aren't together that they feel no connection, so in the very least stick it out until the trip, have a great time, and then break it off. I think if anything you should communicate more directly how important these problems are to you to have them fixed, as no one can know exactly how you're feeling or to what extent you're feeling them without being told.
I would leave this relationship if I were you. My girlfriend journals religiously and I’ve never even had the urge or thought to read it. I can tell you exactly where her physical and digital journals are located at in our house and still I would never breech her privacy.
The biggest issue I would have is that I wouldn’t feel comfortable or safe leaving my diary anywhere knowing my girlfriend routinely reads, takes pictures of, and throws in my face my entries.
Really what it comes down to is I like the name Cameron for a girl
Fair. But I also think it’s fair that your current partner finds it weird.
I dunno. I’m not sure this is the right guy to be poly with though.
Sounds like you guys have good communication.
Im a 22m and i can imagine if your partner is a stand up guy then im sure he said something along the lines of “hey, my girl expressed to me that shes uncomfortable that you wanted to pursue me in the past. Im hoping to move past that and just be friends and co workers.”
Dont overthink this and communicate further
No, like open wrapper, used condom, smooshed in and partially inside the wrapper
Your child deserves better than to be raised around someone who treats them like that.
Keep him away from your kid.
Majority of the people who get cheated are your kind of people. If I were you, the moment I felt she was getting too close to the roommate, I would have told her that it looks very inappropriate to me. If she had continued to do so, I would have ended the relationship and asked her to move out or I would have moved out.
Now, stop this nonsense of “I don't want to go through her phone”. Just go through it and find out if she is fooling you. If yes, then get them both out of your life. There is no use sitting there and worrying if they are up to something inappropriate. If you confront her with no evidence, she will make you look like a fool. So check her mobile when she is sleeping. You find it or not, talk to her. Tell her that she is being too close to this guy and that you feel disrespected. If she cannot change her behavior, cut her out of your life and move on.