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Date: October 4, 2022
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It can easily take a year, or longer, to “get over” the loss of a close family member. I think you should recognize this, and accept that her loss is your loss too. The drinking is concerning, and it was worth mentioning, to which she answered rather rudely. Continue to show concern and connection but don't expect much back for a while. You might locate a local grief support group in her city and forward the information to her, without sounding like she has to act on it.
This is one of many reasons why LDRs are really not very good ideas. If you can get away to visit a little oftener, try to do so.