you guys are not compatible with each other. she still wants to enjoy the prime time of her life while you are the only one focusing for the future in your relationship. both of you have no mutual vision on where your relationship is heading. she clearly is not ready to commit or compromise for the sake of progressing the relationship further seriously.
“if having fun with your friends meant a lot more to you than our relationship, I won't hold you back anymore. this is the end of it and I wish you all the best”
break it clean like this and let her go.
remember, she's not the only girl in the whole world worthy of you. there are plenty out there who might be the perfect match to you.
You never told her? I hope I'm just misreading this because I'd be extremely sad for your gf if she thought she'd ever get married and you strung her along.
You said you’re afraid to be alone, that weighs on your decision. You could either just accept her very very very strange behavior and let her dictate the relationship as she has up to this point, so you’re not alone (as long the joy she brings you outweighs the negatives) or you tell her that she needs to compromise more on this issue and if not you’re gone. At the very least give her the ultimatum that she needs to communicate what’s going on.
From the sound of it you guys barely hang out. Whether you like to admit it you’re more alone than you think then. What would be the worst part about losing a few hours of connections with this person a week. At least you can develop yourself rather than entertain this anxiety.
People who are afraid to be alone will always be alone, because they will never allow themselves to be completely themself, when modulating their behavior just to keep the company of another. My decision would be to start over once you find that comfort.
This is good advice. Unfortunately your choice of genre is probably making you see things through that filter.
It sounds like the good thing is that you're starting to realise that a lot of stuff you see online is fantasy and can be very harmful if it happens in real life.
Actually I do play games. But like you say, I'm a woman. I use my words unlike this pathetic creature who can't take being shit talked but comes on the Internet to shit talk her partner for not respecting them.
I despise hypocrites. She's a hypocrite. And a child who can't even use her words to her partner. I also don't making things my personality… Gamer. Haha. She needs to grow up and learn respect is a two way thing. Both as bad as the other.
You shouldn't have to tiptoe through your life like this. No healthy relationship would require you to always be on edge analyzing if you should or should not answer your partners questions.
For me if I felt like I had to create a specific narrative for my partner that would mean we were not compatible or on the same page. You should be able to be open and honest with your partner and not feel stupid for answering questions.
You can find someone you care about that doesn't involve tolerating this sort of nonsense.
Random, but I'm the mom in your scenario. I'm married with two kids, but the eldest has a biodad in a different country. Kiddo is hitting preteens, and I'm terrified he'll decide to move away to his dad. I will have to let him go, and it absolutely breaks my heart. At least I know he will be so loved, and well taken care for.
He just needs to say it’s inappropriate going forward and he shouldn’t have allowed it before. He can offer to write her a really good recommendation letter if she finds the arrangement not agreeable.
I don’t mean any offense, but this is easy. If he won’t do that or insists on blaming you the relationship is over and he chooses her.
Look, man, it's clear you just want to make a big deal out of this and blow up your friendships. You're welcome to do that. It's an immature response, and if your fiancee is encouraging this response, it's clear why she doesn't have friends. A better thing to do would be to recognize that it was a situation that was never going to work out well and just move on from it.
He's not into you that way. It's a “work flirt”. They can be fun and certainly make the shift go by faster but they're only applicable during work hours.
Don't press the matter. It will only create awkwardness at work and, unlike a light flirtation, that makes the shift go by very slowly. (And if it goes sideways, you'll be the one who gets in trouble being older and having seniority. I know it's only a 2 year gap but it is a particularly significant 2 years so it's enough that you would lose the benefit of the doubt)
you guys are not compatible with each other. she still wants to enjoy the prime time of her life while you are the only one focusing for the future in your relationship. both of you have no mutual vision on where your relationship is heading. she clearly is not ready to commit or compromise for the sake of progressing the relationship further seriously.
“if having fun with your friends meant a lot more to you than our relationship, I won't hold you back anymore. this is the end of it and I wish you all the best”
break it clean like this and let her go.
remember, she's not the only girl in the whole world worthy of you. there are plenty out there who might be the perfect match to you.
You are not in the right frame of mind to be in a relationship with anyone other than yourself honey.
You keep hurting him, over and over again. Why? Why punish someone for loving you?
A good therapist can help you build the skills to have a healthy relationship. It is in both of your best interests to break up.
Talk to your mother. Asap.
You never told her? I hope I'm just misreading this because I'd be extremely sad for your gf if she thought she'd ever get married and you strung her along.
Lol this is a novel
Run far and fast away from him. He'll turn violent whemn you break up. Everything about your relationship are warning signs.
You said you’re afraid to be alone, that weighs on your decision. You could either just accept her very very very strange behavior and let her dictate the relationship as she has up to this point, so you’re not alone (as long the joy she brings you outweighs the negatives) or you tell her that she needs to compromise more on this issue and if not you’re gone. At the very least give her the ultimatum that she needs to communicate what’s going on.
From the sound of it you guys barely hang out. Whether you like to admit it you’re more alone than you think then. What would be the worst part about losing a few hours of connections with this person a week. At least you can develop yourself rather than entertain this anxiety.
People who are afraid to be alone will always be alone, because they will never allow themselves to be completely themself, when modulating their behavior just to keep the company of another. My decision would be to start over once you find that comfort.
This is good advice. Unfortunately your choice of genre is probably making you see things through that filter.
It sounds like the good thing is that you're starting to realise that a lot of stuff you see online is fantasy and can be very harmful if it happens in real life.
This seems very scammy. And it’s why you shouldn’t engage with strangers on the internet (present company excluded).
In context I assumed the deepfake video OP mentioned was a porn deepfake video, that's the unacceptable sexualizing of his friends.
Actually I do play games. But like you say, I'm a woman. I use my words unlike this pathetic creature who can't take being shit talked but comes on the Internet to shit talk her partner for not respecting them.
I despise hypocrites. She's a hypocrite. And a child who can't even use her words to her partner. I also don't making things my personality… Gamer. Haha. She needs to grow up and learn respect is a two way thing. Both as bad as the other.
You shouldn't have to tiptoe through your life like this. No healthy relationship would require you to always be on edge analyzing if you should or should not answer your partners questions.
For me if I felt like I had to create a specific narrative for my partner that would mean we were not compatible or on the same page. You should be able to be open and honest with your partner and not feel stupid for answering questions.
You can find someone you care about that doesn't involve tolerating this sort of nonsense.
Maybe he’s joined big brothers big sisters and wants to make sure his mom isn’t going to go after that kid too.
With a best friend like Alice, who needs an enemy.
You might be ashamed and regret it now, but what really matters now is how you are going to proceed with these relationships.
Random, but I'm the mom in your scenario. I'm married with two kids, but the eldest has a biodad in a different country. Kiddo is hitting preteens, and I'm terrified he'll decide to move away to his dad. I will have to let him go, and it absolutely breaks my heart. At least I know he will be so loved, and well taken care for.
Interesting
that you know of
He just needs to say it’s inappropriate going forward and he shouldn’t have allowed it before. He can offer to write her a really good recommendation letter if she finds the arrangement not agreeable.
I don’t mean any offense, but this is easy. If he won’t do that or insists on blaming you the relationship is over and he chooses her.
Look, man, it's clear you just want to make a big deal out of this and blow up your friendships. You're welcome to do that. It's an immature response, and if your fiancee is encouraging this response, it's clear why she doesn't have friends. A better thing to do would be to recognize that it was a situation that was never going to work out well and just move on from it.
He's not into you that way. It's a “work flirt”. They can be fun and certainly make the shift go by faster but they're only applicable during work hours.
Don't press the matter. It will only create awkwardness at work and, unlike a light flirtation, that makes the shift go by very slowly. (And if it goes sideways, you'll be the one who gets in trouble being older and having seniority. I know it's only a 2 year gap but it is a particularly significant 2 years so it's enough that you would lose the benefit of the doubt)