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Date: April 24, 2023
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Okay so it's probably a lot more simple than you think it is on why he hasn't told you.
It could be essentially death by A thousand cuts where what his parents do on an individual basis for incident to incident isn't that bad but you add them up and it turns out they are just constantly disrespecting him or belittling him or invalidating him.
Or it could be that he feels shame or embarrassment over the incidents like he felt he should have stood up for himself or something and he didn't so it makes him feel ashamed to think about.
I too have a weird relationship with one of my parents because on the surface they seem super nice but when you get to know them you see they are batshit insane and that makes for a very complicated relationship.
And that can make it weird to complain about because when people meet them and have superficial interactions they seem nice and normal so me complaining about how crazy they are doesn't really make sense.
I've had people tell me that what they've seen doesn't line up with what I say but fortunately for me I've had friends for years who have met my parent and interacted with them on a deeper level and can confirm that they are indeed batshit crazy.
But from your story it sounds like you haven't interacted with the parents on any real deep level you just had a bunch of superficial interactions so you haven't seen how they really are and basically he just doesn't want to explain it to you because you still wouldn't understand without dealing with it first hand.
Very sorry to hear about the rape. You might want to press charges.
He is probably attached to her for sex. Unfortunately w guys sex usually wins out over friendships. But that’s no excuse for how he’s treating you. I would suggest dropping him and finding new friends, at least while he’s seeing her. He made his bed and now he will be sleeping in it, but without you.
Just curious, have either of you been interested in romance w the other in the past (or present)?
I would not go. Also, I hope you realize your husband's buddies and he himself apparently condone cheating. If he cheats on you, the group will accept it, hide it from you, then make you out to be crazy.
It says a LOT about his morals that he wants to keep this friend, and socialize with him and his new girlfriend so soon after this cheating news came out. Did your bf know about the cheating?
No point dwelling on why he didn't tell you sooner now. Time to move on.
I do get why you wanna be with someone so I’m not going to say you have to be single. You wanna relay on someone because you are still young but have a lot of responsibility for your son. I think it’s okay. It’s better if you can get more support from your family, but it’s still okay. BUT you wanna run away from this guy. Basically, you are having two babies and I don’t think you have enough space for two children right now. Get some support from your family first if you can, then maybe find someone who is really supportive for you and your son and love a whole family?